Zoe Baird

A DICTIONARY of Washington Eponymical Etymology:TO BORK, verb. The act of scrutinizing to death a nominee for high public office. The word derives from Robert Bork, a Supreme Court nominee whose record was examined so minutely by the Senate Judiciary Committee that the rest of the Senate, assuming there must be something wrong with anyone who needed that much scrutiny, refused to confirm him. Usage examples: "Unless Clinton nominates people acceptable to...

WASHINGTON -- President Clinton had a tough first day at the Oval Office yesterday, as reality quickly overtook the revelry of inauguration.His morning-after-the-night-before brought him trouble abroad and at home: more U.S. bombs falling on Iraq and his nominee for attorney general, Zoe Baird, heading deeper into trouble.Both could produce increasing difficulties for Mr. Clinton, provoking early tests of his diplomatic and political leadership, but he showed no signs of sensing impending crises.

Are you ready to talk?Could you get the light out of my eyes?No.Could you take off the handcuffs?No.The electrodes are very itchy.Tough.What is it you want me to say?Tell us why you would like to be the attorney general of the United States.To protect and defend the Constitution, to punish the guilty and to comfort the innocent.Why really?There's nobody else left. I'm the last name on President Clinton's list.Do you have any nanny problems?How come you didn't ask Ron Brown that? YEE-OWW! What was that?

WASHINGTON -- The applause began for Janet Reno even before she entered the Senate hearing room.In the hallway, the people who had waited in line for more than an hour just for the chance to see her, began to clap as soon as she came into view.Reno loped past them, smiling a little and then ducking her head shyly when some people inside the room rose and gave her a standing ovation.Having selected Zoe Baird, having virtually selected Kimba Wood, Bill Clinton has now nominated Janet Reno to be our attorney general.

JANUARY1 -- President-elect William Jefferson Rodham Kennedy Clinton, preparing for the task of being the most powerful human on Earth after 4,000 straight months on the campaign trail, sits down with his top aides and a complete set of the World Book Encyclopedia to learn about all these foreign countries.13 -- The nomination of Zoe Baird, Clinton's choice for attorney general, appears to be in trouble following reports that she is an illegal alien.16 -- In a highly symbolic display of symbolism, Bill Clinton and Al Gore begin a historic ride from Monticello, near Charlottesville, Va., to Washington, in the exact same bus that Thomas Jefferson used.

Washington. -- Maybe this is what President Clinton meant by "re-inventing government": Call it government by "trial balloon."On almost every major issue facing the administration -- issues ranging from U.S. military strategy to key personnel appointments to a vast overhaul of health care -- the Clinton administration routinely floats an idea or a name or an approach so that it can gauge public opinion before it acts.Going back to Franklin D. Roosevelt, presidents have used leaks to "run things up the flag pole and see if anyone salutes," in the words of William Leuchtenberg, a professor of history at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and the author of several books on the presidency.

WASHINGTON -- Bill is backing Hillary?Big deal.He backed Zoe Baird -- for a while. He backed Kimba Wood -- for a while. He backed Lani Guinier -- for a while.But when they became political liabilities, he cut them loose.Will he do the same to Hillary?Actually, no.There are at least 10 Reasons Why Bill Won't Dump Hillary:10. She's not nearly as nuts as Bobby Inman was.9. She's the only one who knows the numbers to the Swiss bank accounts.8. She leaks goofy statistics to Ross Perot.7. She inhaled only once and that was before marrying Bill.

WASHINGTON -- On Christmas Eve, when Bill Clinton proudly introduced Zoe Baird as the nation's next attorney general, her downfall -- and the first blunder of his presidency -- had already been sealed.To the relief of the Senate, which did not want to cross swords with President Clinton in the dawn of his administration -- but which had been deluged with calls opposing the nomination -- Ms. Baird's nomination was withdrawn by the president early yesterday.In many ways, the Baird controversy is a typical Washington tale of good intentions gone awry, of high-level decisions made in haste, of a president-to-be who became the prisoner -- and ultimately a victim -- of his lavish promises.

George, come back! All is forgiven.The Zoe Baird caper is heavier than Bill should have to carry this early in the season.Fashion note: First and Second Ladies wear shades of blue this year, which means the recession is not over.Audrey Hepburn has gone to breakfast in the real Tiffany's.

It's tag wrestling, when Bill takes George's place in the ring with Saddam.Zoe Baird promises, if confirmed, to employ no Peruvian illegal immigrants in high office at the Justice Department.The Supreme Court has determined that a woman has a right to an abortion but that anyone blocking her from it is not infringing on her rights. Howzat?If Erich Honecker is alive and chipper in Chile more than six months from now, a lot of Germans are going to feel cheated.