Zebra Mussels

In this crucial election year, with the nation's economic future hanging in the balance, it is more vital than ever that you, the American voters, be informed of recent developments concerning the Giant Mystery Zebra Mussel Brassiere.As you no doubt recall, we recently reported that the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation was trying to determine the ownership of a very large brassiere that had been pulled out of Lake Ontario with a colony of zebra mussels clinging to it. Zebra mussels are a new environmental menace that is spreading around the country at an alarming rate.

As aggressive as the damaging zebra mussel is, it hasn't wiped out boat fishing at Piney Run Reservoir and can't stop the 10th annual $20,000 Early Bird Fishing Tournament scheduled for March 28.Piney Run's boat fishing program will continue, despite bans on visiting boats by the Baltimore City Water Department for Liberty, Prettyboy and Loch Raven reservoirs.And kicking off Piney Run's season will be the popular contest, which also offers a pocketful of cash for anglers lucky enough to catch one of three top-money fish tagged for the competition.

Six or seven years ago, a transoceanic ship discharged freshwater ballast into one of the Great Lakes to start a series of events that have struck home in Carroll County.That is how fisheries scientistsin Ohio figure the zebra mussel hitchhiked to North America from Europe. Quickly, Lake St. Clair was infested, then Lake Erie, followed by others in the Great Lakes chain and, eventually, spreading into NewYork and the St. Lawrence River.Infestations were detected last year in the upper Susquehanna River.

A spokesman for the Baltimore City Department of Public Works said yesterday that Liberty and Prettyboy reservoirs will be closed to recreational fishermen aboard boats for an undetermined period beyond the scheduled opening this Sunday."

Fishermen who on Tuesday and yesterday applied for permits to use their boats on Prettyboy and Liberty reservoirs this season will not be issued permits until a potential problem with zebra mussels is investigated, an official of the Baltimore City Department of Public Works said yesterday."

Fishermen who on Tuesday and yesterday applied for permits to use their boats on Prettyboy and Liberty reservoirs this season will not be issued permits until a potential problem with zebra mussels is investigated, an official of the Baltimore City Department of Public Works said yesterday."

I had hoped that we could get the new year under way without any reports of ecologically dangerous shellfish attacking women's undergarments, but I see now that I was a fool.I have here an alarming news article written by Christopher Taylor of the Watertown (N.Y.) Daily Times and sent in by several alert readers. The headline, which I am not making up, says: "Large Colony of Zebra Mussels Found Clinging to Big Brassiere."In case you haven't heard, the zebra mussel is a hot new environmental threat.