April 28, 2011
When Donald Trump was publicly proven wrong yesterday by President Barack Obama releasing his long-form birth certificate (reiterating what we already know is true: He's a U.S. citizen), most people expected Trump to react with some variation of "I'm an idiot. I was wrong. " Instead, Trump used the opportunity to praise himself. "Today, I am very proud of myself," he said at a news conference. "... I feel I've accomplished something really, really important and I'm honored by it. " How does one make sense of this inexplicable behavior?
May 23, 2006
The day after Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro had successfully come through four-plus hours of surgery after his breakdown in the 131st Preakness Stakes on Saturday, his co-owner, Gretchen Jackson, still sounded heartsick. "It's sad, so sad," she said. "I know he's doing well right now, but it's hard to get over - and there is such a long way he has to go." Barbaro was undefeated, 6-for-6, and projected to be the next Triple Crown winner by many experts. But on Saturday, his racing career ended when he suffered three major breaks in his right hind leg shortly after the start of the Preakness.
January 7, 2006
Clutter, disorder, disarray. A desk inundated by papers last examined in 1998. Books stacked beyond recall by the Dewey Decimal System. John Coltrane CDs "filed" next to Vivaldi. Forgotten substances stored at the back of the refrigerator. Closets stuffed with stuff unworn since the Nehru-collar era. Pantry and garage indescribable to ordinary mortals. Perhaps you, as I do, face this new year threatened by the dreaded syndrome Chronic Disorganization. I sought professional help. January is, after all, Get Organized Month.
July 1, 2004
SINCE THERE are only about six of us left in the entire country who still eat bread, I probably shouldn't have been surprised about what happened when my wife and I went to a local restaurant the other night. After we were seated, our server appeared with a basket of dinner rolls. "I don't know whether you still eat this stuff," she said, putting the basket on the table. Then she looked down at it the way you'd look at medical waste. Apparently, she figured us for two of the millions of diet zombies who have joined the low-carb cult.
March 18, 2004
"I've never particularly cared about the money. I don't like the fame ... that's the worst thing about it for me. I don't like being recognized shopping for pants." -- Comedian Ricky Gervais
February 8, 2004
They stripped away layers of peeling paint, repaired the wooden siding and then added four new coats of primer and latex paint. The bright, almost glaring, yellow gave the Sykesville Colored Schoolhouse the hue its remaining alumni remember well. "It looks the same today, except it used to have an outhouse that was the same color," said Ruth Gaither, 81, of Sykesville, among the last students to attend what was the only school for African-American children in South Carroll. "We never had any trouble finding that building."