Verbal Abuse

Although physical assaults like the one that took the life of a Baltimore welfare worker yesterday are rare, social services officials and union representatives say the 2,600 employees in Baltimore's Department of Social Services face a growing number of threats, verbal abuse and angry clients."

Rutgers reinstated men's lacrosse coach   Brian Brecht on Tuesday, almost a month after having suspended him with pay over allegations of verbal abuse. While the university investigation found that the former Loyola University assistant did use inappropriate language and exhibited unprofessional behavior on occasion, the instances were infrequent and not directed at individual players. Accordingly the university found no criminal or university policy violations. “I regret my behavior and am determined to set a better example in the future,” said Brecht, who missed the last two games of the season.

A week after firing the first shot in a pitched battle between county employees and the Gary administration over pension benefits, Anne Arundel's No. 2 ranking official is calling for a truce.Sort of."I don't have any problem with people taking shots," county Administrative Officer Robert J. Dvorak said yesterday over an iced tea in his corner Arundel Center office. "Hey, if you take a shot at me, then I'll take a shot at you. But there's a proper way of doing things."Dvorak -- who last week lectured the County Council on the evils of New Deal policies and said Anne Arundel should not "baby-sit" its employees -- has asked the Pension Oversight Commission to regain control of an unruly political debate.

Rutgers announced the suspension of men's lacrosse head coach Brian Brecht, a former Loyola University assistant, on Friday pending a university police investigation of allegations of verbal abuse. No length was given for the suspension, which is with pay. Brecht's suspension comes a little more than two weeks after the highly publicized firing of men's basketball coach Mike Rice. Rice was let go April 3 after a video surfaced of him making homophobic slurs and throwing basketballs at his players during practice.

Killer mood swings. Hormones gone haywire. Hair-trigger tempers. Uncontrollable crying. Bloating. For eons, women have suffered the inconvenience, the indignation and the pain of premenstrual syndrome -- PMS. They've put up with the jokes, the mocking, the misunderstanding. And no matter how much they tried to explain what they were feeling, men just didn't get it. Until, maybe, now. Scientists studying herds of lusty rams in Scotland and a psychotherapist surveying modern man in America have come up with a startling conclusion, one that may have women dancing for joy. Men get PMS-ish, too. Millions of men. "It's payback time," says Jed Diamond, a California psychotherapist and author of the groundbreaking Male Meno-pause.

EARLIER this month, about a dozen men were shot in the 500 block of East 21st Street. The shooters apparently were disgruntled losers in a craps game allegedly held on a regular basis in that block.From news accounts, we were able to learn several things:1. Street-level craps games have now joined street-level drug dealing as a problem in the inner city.2. There's a severe problem in police-community relations on East 21st Street.3. Residents of the East Baltimore neighborhood have a problem with "verbal abuse" by police.

What might be considered normal in some families may actually be sexual abuse, according to two therapists who counsel sexually abused boys and offenders.Although many forms of sexual abuse are obvious, some are not, said co-therapists Carolyn Wilcox and Don Wright at the "Partnership For the Future: Investing in Families" conference held recently at Baylor University in Waco, Texas.Ms. Wilcox, a clinical therapist, said that research indicates that it is not a good idea to kiss an adolescent on the mouth or hug chest to chest because it can confuse him or her if it causes sexual arousal at this stage of development.

Parents enrolling their children in Anne Arundel County youth sports leagues will have to sign a pledge vowing to play nice and not criticize referees if they want their kids to play ball.Echoing the efforts of youth league leaders across the country to grapple with increasing verbal abuse of game officials by parents, the county Department of Recreation and Parks added the pledge to its sign-up form last week to try to stop the sideline sniping.Dennis Callahan, department director, said parents -- and coaches -- in the county have been known to yell at game officials on the field, and to follow referees to their cars to continue berating them.

"They told me, 'We don't want you here. You don't belong, and we are going to do all that we can to make you see it our way,' " Steve reported to his manager.Steve is an engineer who recently took a job in a factory rather than be laid off.It was not a smooth change. "When I had that accident with the fork lift last week, I saw that some of the factory guys were standing around laughing," Steve said."One of them said, 'We told you that you would not want to stay around here for long.' I think they sabotaged the equipment."

Mediation skillimportant as teaching aid"Schools can prevent violence by teaching conflict resolution skills."The Maryland State Department of Education featured this hopeful message at a recent statewide conference for 550 educators and concerned citizens.Misunderstandings and verbal abuse, like teasing, name-calling, put-downs, threats and hurtful rumors, upset children and hinder their ability to focus on school work. Misunderstandings and verbal abuse sometimes escalate into violence.

Editor: Didn't anybody notice? Didn't anybody care? Did the neighbors not want to get involved? Why wasn't Child Protective Services called? Why wasn't there someone at C. Milton Wright High School that Richard's friends felt comfortable talking with? Didn't anyone at school become suspicious about his appearance? There have been conflicting reports that the Harford County Sheriff's Office was called/was not called. Which was it? Who was there to support this young man? Verbal abuse is insidious and will destroy a person.

At the end of The Sun's article about 16 year-old Robert Richardson III, who is accused of killing his father last week, a Bel Air woman posed the question, "What drove him to do that?" ("No bail for Bel Air teen accused of patricide," Jan. 12.) I'll wager a guess: being a trapped and helpless victim of relentless, demeaning emotional abuse by his father, the man who was supposed to nurture and protect him. Violence in the home is a form of "domestic terrorism"; the son was held hostage.

Two Jewish brothers won a $115,000 settlement from a Texas-based human resources firm after alleging that they endured religious-based harassment - including verbal and physical abuse - while they worked at an office in Harford County, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission said Wednesday. Brothers Scott and Joseph Jacobson detailed several complaints, including being called "dirty Jew," "dumb Jew," "stupid Jew" and other anti-Semitic slurs by managers and co-workers while working at an office for Conn-X LLC, a cable TV service provider in Edgewood.

Composed but clearly anguished, the estranged wife of former Baltimore Raven Michael C. McCrary told a judge Monday that he has become increasingly violent and verbally abusive, at one point punching a hole in a wall next to her head. "I don't want him near me," Mary Haley McCrary, 40, married to the retired defensive end since 2005, told the judge. "I don't want him near my daughter," referring to their 6-year-old child. Judge Jan Marshall Alexander of Baltimore County District Court granted the woman's request for a temporary protective order that bars the 6-foot-4-inch, 270-pound former Pro Bowler and defensive end from the couple's home in Timonium.

"Can U Control Yo Hoe" - so asks the high priest of gangster rap, Snoop Dogg, on his CD R&G: (Rhythm and Gangsta): The Masterpiece. In "Housewife" on his CD 2001, Dr. Dre says, "Naw, `hoe' is short for honey." Rapper Beanie Sigel says "Watch Your Bitches" on his 2001 album The Reason. Just a light sampling of how gangster rappers, some black filmmakers and comedians routinely reduce young black women to "stuff," "bitches" and "hoes." Their contempt reinforces the slut image of black women and sends the message that violence, mistreatment and verbal abuse of black women are socially acceptable.

Killer mood swings. Hormones gone haywire. Hair-trigger tempers. Uncontrollable crying. Bloating. For eons, women have suffered the inconvenience, the indignation and the pain of premenstrual syndrome -- PMS. They've put up with the jokes, the mocking, the misunderstanding. And no matter how much they tried to explain what they were feeling, men just didn't get it. Until, maybe, now. Scientists studying herds of lusty rams in Scotland and a psychotherapist surveying modern man in America have come up with a startling conclusion, one that may have women dancing for joy. Men get PMS-ish, too. Millions of men. "It's payback time," says Jed Diamond, a California psychotherapist and author of the groundbreaking Male Meno-pause.

At the end of The Sun's article about 16 year-old Robert Richardson III, who is accused of killing his father last week, a Bel Air woman posed the question, "What drove him to do that?" ("No bail for Bel Air teen accused of patricide," Jan. 12.) I'll wager a guess: being a trapped and helpless victim of relentless, demeaning emotional abuse by his father, the man who was supposed to nurture and protect him. Violence in the home is a form of "domestic terrorism"; the son was held hostage.

Editor: Didn't anybody notice? Didn't anybody care? Did the neighbors not want to get involved? Why wasn't Child Protective Services called? Why wasn't there someone at C. Milton Wright High School that Richard's friends felt comfortable talking with? Didn't anyone at school become suspicious about his appearance? There have been conflicting reports that the Harford County Sheriff's Office was called/was not called. Which was it? Who was there to support this young man? Verbal abuse is insidious and will destroy a person.

A Shady Side woman was sentenced yesterday to life in prison for murdering her husband, a slaying she blamed on spousal abuse but which prosecutors say stemmed from his discovery of her five-figure credit card debt. Terry Harriet Pierce Eslin, 59, wept as she pleaded with Anne Arundel County Circuit Judge Nancy Davis-Loomis for leniency in the killing of her husband of 15 years, Richard P. Eslin, as he slept. "I cannot get over that I did it. But I did not intend to do it," she said, contending -- as she did during her weeklong trial -- that her husband was a "very brutal and harsh man."

After writing blunt e-mails and making loud outbursts and what were characterized as questionable comments, a Columbia Association board member has been accused of verbally abusing employees of the homeowners association. The conduct of Phil Marcus, who represents Kings Contrivance, was called into question at a board meeting Thursday night, when he was accused of contributing to a hostile work environment in his treatment of association staff members. In a quarter-inch-thick memo to the board, Columbia Association President Maggie J. Brown outlined the case against Marcus, highlighting 10 instances of his behavior that she deemed violated the association's workplace violence-prevention policy, which she wrote has a "zero tolerance policy for any action, statement, or other behavior that is ... violent, threatening, intimidating or harassing."