Vanity

Costume dramas, let's face it, are often stuffy. Some, like Nicholas Nickleby (2002), are so overstuffed they can barely move. But even some of the better ones - 1995's Sense and Sensibility, say - are a bit too insistently high-toned. You feel you should put on a tie just to watch. Vanity Fair, the Reese Witherspoon costume drama, based on the William Makepeace Thackeray novel, doesn't have that problem. If anything, the film may be a tad trashy. Call it "Days of Our Victorian Lives."

COOPERSTOWN, N.Y. - Pete Rose, banned from baseball in 1989 for misconduct related to gambling, denied new drug and betting allegations raised against him by a former friend in the September issue of Vanity Fair magazine. Tommy Gioiosa, a former Rose housemate who went to federal prison for three years for cocaine trafficking and tax fraud, told Vanity Fair that Rose financed a cocaine deal, bet on baseball games and may have violated baseball rules by using a corked bat. Rose, appearing at an autograph show here on Monday, called the drug-dealing allegation "the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

PAPER OR PLASTIC? Not at the supermarket checkout, but at Carroll County school cafeterias this fall where parents can use credit cards to pay for a year's lunches in advance, and get a discount. (But no refunds for missed meals.)Paper money (and coins) will still be accepted, but Carroll officials expect the credit-card charge to win favor, as it has in Howard County for eight years. Some jurisdictions, such as Baltimore County, offer prepaid debit-cards for a set number of lunches. But more significant changes are in store for Carroll County schools when more than 26,000 youngsters return to the classroom today.

Pam Erisman cannot drive anywhere without being asked: "Are you Cal Ripken's wife?"The reason for the question is obvious. The front and rear bumpers of her 1995 Nissan Altima bear the license plates "CAL 8."Adding to the confusion is that, like Kelly Ripken, Ms. Erisman, 26, is an attractive blonde who adores the 35-year-old Orioles shortstop. But Ms. Erisman lacks two things that Mrs. Ripken has: height (Ms. Erisman stands 5 feet 9 inches, about three inches shorter than Mrs. Ripken) and the wedding ring.

There they are in Vanity Fair (June), cute as cute can be, Mr. and Mrs. Slobodan Milosevic, sitting together curled up on the couch in their designer sweaters. He's got a hopelessly blank look on his face. Presumably, that's one of the tricks of the trade: Think bland and -- who knows? -- a guy can get away with, you'll pardon the expression, murder.Then again, that blankness verges on grimace: One gets the sense Slobodan Milosevic might be singing to himself the refrain of that old Pet Shop Boys song, "What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?"

IF YOU CAN put the book behind you and take the film as it is, ''Bonfire of the Vanities'' is a pleasant surprise.It's a surprise because it comes to us on a float of negativism. Some movies get that treatment. Word sneaks out that the test screenings have been bad, and the movie is damned thereon.''Bonfire'' has been getting that kind of treatment. Some critics have been calling it ''Bombfire of the Vanities.''Well, it is far from that. It is also a good distance from the book. The movie script (by Michael Cristofer)

What's making the biggest splash in the bath today is not the sink, tub or super showerheads. It's the vanity. Browse through home catalogs and department stores and you'll see cabinetry worthy of the living room -- if it weren't for the sink bowl and faucet. There's a formidable selection of rich and exotic woods such as mahogany, walnut burl and zebrawood. Some cabinets are accented with carvings, decorative moldings, brackets, fluted columns, contrasting panel insets or inlays. There are hand-painted vanities, some with scenic floral designs and landscapes, and finishes that are distressed, glazed, hand-rubbed and gilt-embellished.

It is grand to have illusions, until you find out they're illusions. That disheartening lesson comes in the November Vanity Fair, in Robert Sam Anson's report on Seymour Hersh's coming book on the Kennedys.Hersh burst into prominence in the late '60s when he revealed the massacre at My Lai, and it was only the first in an explosion of exposes: the secret bombing of North Vietnam, then of Cambodia; domestic spying by the CIA; the wiretapping of Kissinger's aides.Sy Hersh seemed to be someone to emulate.

A House committee went to work Friday on rewriting portions of Gov. Martin O'Malley's $14 billion budget proposal, rolling back the governor's most significant cuts by chopping elsewhere and raising roughly $67 million in fees. Lawmakers worked into the night on a plan produced by the Democratic House leadership that would increase the cost of titling cars and trucks, registering land records and getting a vanity license plate. The extra revenue would go to three groups that have objected most to O'Malley's spending plan: the counties, state workers and school systems.

TAKING VANITY to new heights, the world can now slap its image on everything from a postage stamp to a credit card, transforming the "look at me" mentality from figurative to literal in one giant, narcissistic leap. This month, the U.S. Postal Service gave the go-ahead for a Los Angeles technology company to test customized postage made from people's pictures. A Nebraska bank, also this month, introduced a credit card with a photograph of the customer as its main image - meant more for the sake of individuality than security.