Unauthorized Biography

NANCY REAGAN: THEUNAUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY.Kitty Kelley.Simon & Schuster.603 pages. $24.95.In this much-anticipated filleting of Nancy Reagan, the formefirst lady is depicted in childhood as chubby, unpopular, pathetic. As a Hollywood starlet, we see her as conniving, talentless and pathetic. As a mother, cold, selfish, pathetic. And as a first lady, greedy, domineering, deceitful and yes, of course, pathetic.But then, we'd already heard all that. If the books by former Reagan aides didn't succeed in unmasking Mrs. Reagan's unadorableness, her memoirs "My Turn" -- in which she skewers everyone around her and thus, herself -- certainly did.Still, even if the major revelations found within Kitty Kelley's 1,000-plus interviews -- most notably, stories of extramarital affairs and drug use -- are few (and either unsubstantiated or merely alluded to)

NANCY REAGAN: The Unauthorized Biography. By Kitty Kelley. Simon & Schuster. 604 pages. $24.95.AFTER READING Kitty Kelley's "Nancy Reagan: The Unauthorized Biography," I feel as though I've just browsed the underwear drawer of a stranger. I don't feel guilty, either, which worries me even more.But this is Kelley's talent. She takes me on a tour of Nancy Reagan's every sin -- both documented and rumored, with little distinction between them -- and persuades me to keep reading because this is political history.

What a dirty little world this is, with mud slung here and mud slung there and mud rising neck-high if you happen to be standing in the wrong place at the wrong time.Standing neck-deep -- as anyone knows who hasn't been in Antarctica for the past six months -- is mudslinger extraordinaire Kitty Kelley, whose unuathorized biographies of Jackie Onassis, Elizabeth Taylor, Frank Sinatra and most recently Nancy Reagan have earned her a reputation as a person who knows how to dig up the dirt and dish it out.Now Ms. Kelley is on the receiving end of the mudbath, the subject of "Poison Pen: The Unauthorized Biography of Kitty Kelley" by George Carpozi Jr. You can't miss it in the bookstores, where it arrived this week -- it's the one with the jacket that looks exactly like the cover of Ms. Kelley's "Nancy Reagan: The Unauthorized Biography."

She must be a tiger, this writer who has skewered Nancy Reagan with an unauthorized and decidedly uncomplimentary biography, her latest in a string of unauthorized and uncomplimentary biographies.But no, Kitty Kelley is just a pussycat, a soft blond pussycat who leans into an interviewer's questions, seeks and maintains eye contact, and seems more than a little bit bewildered by all the attention coming her way.Or so she would have you believe.In fact, all this attention, she purrs in a confiding voice, makes her feel "weird and uncomfortable."

In 1977, Mick Jagger first sang, "Start me up, I'll never stop."Now, at 54, as the Rolling Stones begin their "Bridges to Babylon" tour, the legendary rocker has proved that phrase was more than a lyric. It's a way of life."He's lean, he's athletic, he's out there running around like a 16-year-old," says Greg Isaacs, corporate fitness director for Warner Bros. and personal trainer for celebrities including Melanie Griffith and Goldie Hawn. "I doubt he eats cheeseburgers every day."Other aging acts, such as the Eagles and Fleetwood Mac, have hit the road lately as well.

She was beautiful, thin and nasty. Yep, Milo had it all.Comedy Central's "Unauthorized Biography: Milo -- Death of a Supermodel" (10 p.m.-10: 30 p.m.) manages to skewer fame, the '70s, supermodels, photography-as-art, punk rock and probably a few other things I didn't pick up on right away. But most of all, it skewers A&E's "Biography" franchise and its penchant for telling the lives of the less-than-deservedly famous.Written by and starring comedian Lizz Winstead, who says she was inspired by a "Biography" of Lance Ito, "Death of a Supermodel" chronicles Milo's life from her childhood in one of those "big square states," through her "discovery" by photographer Hans Peter Christian (who caused an uproar in the New York art scene with his pictures of her nude, covered with spiders)

We like the coat, the Hermes Birkin bag, even the haircut. But Martha, are you sure that swept-away look is what you should be going for in federal court? After all, you've been charged with securities fraud and other unseemly crimes. Do you think obstruction of your left eye could be construed as obstruction of justice? It's all part of Martha Stewart's act, says Jerry Oppenheimer, who wrote Just Desserts: The Unauthorized Biography, a dishy account of the craft queen's life. "Martha's a great actress," he says.

Title: "The Lives of Danielle Steel"Authors: Vickie L. Bane and Lorenzo BenetPublisher: St. Martin's PressLength, price: 307 pages, $22.95 Best-selling novelist Danielle Steel has turned out book after book after book for decades. Each is more popular than the last. They are tales of the rich and famous, cheap and sleazy, the strong, the weak, the lovelorn.As Vickie L. Bane and Lorenzo Benet show in this unauthorized biography, truth is stranger than fiction when it comes to Ms. Steel's life.

DICK FRANCIS , 89 Best-selling British mystery writer Dick Francis, a champion steeplechase jockey who became a best-selling British mystery writer, died of natural causes Sunday at his home in the Cayman Islands. He wrote 42 novels, many featuring racing as a theme, after retiring from racing in 1957. "I haven't suffered the same injuries as my characters, but I have suffered pain and I know it," he told the Los Angeles Times during a visit to Southern California in 1981.

If you made the mistake of watching Fox's "Roseanne: An Unauthorized Biography" last night, you've got two chances to watch the real Roseanne tonight and get the taste of Denny Dillon's hideously bad portrayal out of your mouth. There's also an unofficial reunion on TV tonight, with Bill Cosby and Phylicia Rashad appearing on separate shows, and an official one, with Robert Plant and Jimmy Page, formerly of Led Zeppelin, doing an "Unledded" concert on MTV.* "The Cosby Mysteries" (8-9 p.m., Channel 2)