Uma Thurman

Maybe breaking into song would have helped.This steadfastly inert film production of "Les Miserables" manages to take one of the great works of 19th-century literature, a novel of individuals struggling for survival as French history unfolds around them, and turn it into a story so generic, it may as well have been set in Milwaukee -- or on Broadway, where the musical version is threatening to run forever.Making the film doubly shameful is that it wastes the talent of a spectacular cast, especially Liam Neeson as the hulking, haunted Jean Valjean and Uma Thurman as the doomed Fantine.

Richard Linklater is a wonder - and a puzzler. Hard on the heels of his expansive, brilliant animated odyssey, Waking Life, he gives us the competent, puny and claustrophobic Tape, a three-hander about friendship, betrayal and memory set entirely in a Lansing, Mich., motel room. A rendering on digital video of a play by Stephen Belber, Tape lacks the fresh language and fertile ideas of Linklater's previous vehicle for Ethan Hawke, Before Sunrise, and the freewheeling inventiveness of Waking Life.

LET'S INVENT a new disease. Let's call it "dementia Hitchcox" and define it as a brain inflammation primarily afflicting young movie directors who've seen too much Alfred Hitchcock. In its grip they come to believe the delusion that it is possible to make an Alfred Hitchcock film if they are not Alfred Hitchcock."Final Analysis" is a case of "dementia Hitchcox" that ought to go into the textbooks.The movie is "Vertigo" freeze-dried, calorie-leached, flavor-drained, frozen in a little plastic sack and then fired up in the old Hollywood radar range for a mere $20 million or so. The silky Richard Gere is cast in the Jimmy Stewart part as a naif who falls in love with a blond goddess, which in turn makes him vulnerable to a dastardly plot involving murder.

"Gattaca" is a film that makes you want to comb your hair, check your heart rate and contemplate plastic surgery. Filled with genetically perfect people, it's enough to make DNA-challenged movie critics nervous.That, of course, is the point. Andrew Niccol's compelling "Gattaca" is about "the not-too-distant future," when most babies' genetics are predetermined. Babies conceived by chance grow up to be part of "the new underclass," whose genes contain flaws that automatically disqualify them from the most prestigious jobs.

"Jennifer 8" was calculated to make a star out of Andy Garcia, but it will only make a star out of John Malkovich, who doesn't need to be made a star because he already is one.And you can see why. "Jennifer 8" meanders murkily all over creation for close to two hours, following the tortured Garcia's peregrinations as he attempts to find a serial killer who specializes in raping and dismembering blind women. Problem One: The killer may not exist. Problem Two: If he does exist, he may be Andy Garcia.

Here are the results of our completely unscientific poll of Sun readers on who they think will win several major Academy Award categories on Monday, with the vote totals in parentheses. Sun film critic Stephen Hunter will reveal his selections in Sunday's Arts & Entertainment section.PICTURE:"Forrest Gump" (347)"Pulp Fiction" (187)"Four Weddings and a Funeral" (39)"The Shawshank Redemption" (37)"Quiz Show" (24)ACTOR:Tom Hanks, "Forrest Gump" (331)John Travolta, "Pulp Fiction" (152)Morgan Freeman, "The Shawshank Redemption" (70)

SHEPHERDSTOWN, W.Va. -- Two other plays are being presented in repertory at this summer's Contemporary American Theater Festival. The stronger is Stephen Belber's Tape, a three-person drama that made its debut at the 2000 Humana Festival of New American Plays in Louisville and has already been made into a movie starring Ethan Hawke, Robert Sean Leonard and Uma Thurman. A muscular drama, fiercely directed by Wendy C. Goldberg, the play centers on two former high school buddies, Vince and Jon, who meet up 10 years later.

After Hearst blows a gasket, Bullock and Swearengen (Ian McShane) figure their best bet is a pre-emptive strike in Deadwood (9 p.m.-10 p.m., HBO). Network CRIMINAL MINDS -- 9 p.m.-10 p.m., WJZ, Channel 13 / Fearing the loss of tourism, a town tries to wish away apparent serial killings. CBS. AMERICAN MASTERS -- 9 p.m.-10 p.m., MPT, Channels 22, 67 / "Marilyn Monroe: Still Life" looks at one of the most photographed stars in history through the eyes of the picture-takers. PBS. EVE -- 9 p.m.-9:30 p.m., WUTB, Channel 24 / J.T.'s new girlfriend wants him all to herself.

BETTIE PAGE, 85 Pinup girl helped set stage for sexual revolution Bettie Page, a legendary pinup girl whose photographs in the nude, in bondage and in naughty-but-nice poses appeared in men's magazines and private stashes across America in the 1950s and set the stage for the sexual revolution of the 1960s, died Thursday in Los Angeles. Ms. Page, whose popularity underwent a cult-like revival in the last 20 years, had been hospitalized for three weeks with pneumonia and was about to be released Dec. 2 when she suffered a heart attack and lapsed into a coma.

Last Monday, the biggest news was David Letterman, leaving New York for a week to do some shows from Los Angeles. Tonight the biggest news is Jay Leno, who's arrived from the West Coast to do a week's worth of shows from New York.* "Final Analysis" (8:30-11 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- In the final analysis, "Final Analysis" was pretty stupid -- but with Richard Gere, Kim Basinger and Uma Thurman in the starring roles, this 1992 movie was easy on the eyes. NBC.* "One of Her Own" (9-11 p.m., WJZ, Channel 13)