Tribal Council

According to the previews, it appears contestants on Survivor will be given a chance to change tribes during Thursday's episode. This just seems like another one of those desperate attempts to stir things up, which never quite work out. (Another example: Exile Island itself. Only once so far - when Candice was sent there just before tribal council - has this "twist" really seemed to affect the vote, and even then, the end result was the same, thanks to extra scrambling by Candice's alliance.

It's the two-hour finale, and we start out with Jeff and the live studio audience in L.A. So I guess they have to sit and watch the show with the rest of us? But before we get into that, we have to go over the entire season, where I'm reminded of players that I have completely forgotten. Sorry, girl with the dreads from Brawn. Oh, it was Lindsay, and she chose to go home. I had completely forgotten about that. And it's amazing that both Kass and Spencer have made it this far, considering how badly the Brain tribe did at the beginning.

WASHINGTON -- The Democratic National Committee said yesterday that it would return $107,000 solicited from an impoverished Indian tribe -- even though tribal leaders made it clear they didn't want it back.The Cheyenne-Arapaho tribe of central Oklahoma was tapped for a large contribution last year by DNC workers. The tribe responded, even though it had to dip into a tribal welfare fund, in hopes of getting a meeting with President Clinton -- and a favorable ruling on a lingering land dispute with the federal government.

Back from Tribal Council, Spencer is trying to hold it together, but he's basically seen all his plans and schemes go down in flames because Kass couldn't stand Sarah. Spencer can't listen to her talk about strategy, because she's playing with her emotions and she's just lucky that it's worked out in her favor so far. The next day, with Sarah gone, Kass needs someone else to hate, and it looks like Morgan is it. She very passive-aggressively, and then just aggressive-aggressively says that Morgan doesn't do anything to help around camp.

We start out tonight's episode at Tadhana, where everyone is still reeling from the Tribal Council. Ciera realizes that Caleb acted without Hayden or Vytas knowing, and she sees an opportunity for a new alliance. Either way, she's glad that she's still in the game. Now for the awkward moment where Brad arrives at Redemption Island. It's not as bad as it could be, mostly because Candace is elated that he got voted out. Now all they have to do is survive the next couple of days together until the next challenge.

KYLE, S.D. -- Cecelia Fire Thunder likes to recount the legend of the White Buffalo Calf Woman, who delivered the sacred pipe and its teachings to the Lakota nation. Long ago, the legend goes, two men encountered a holy woman who first appeared to them as a white buffalo calf. One man, awe-struck, prayed. The other had lustful thoughts and tried to grab the woman. He was turned into a pile of bones. "The first teaching of the pipe is sexual respect for women," said Fire Thunder, the first female president of the Oglala Sioux Tribe of the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.

Back from Tribal Council, Brandon is terribly upset about the fact that Francesca went home. He calls himself a Honey Badger, but loses points with me because he doesn't then say "Brandon don't care, Brandon don't give a... " Dawn, because she's too nice and doesn't realize that it was the Crazy talking, and not Brandon, is very upset and hurt by what he said to her. I like Dawn, but I think she will end up leaving about mid-point in the game because...

We open this week at the Brain tribe after Tribal Council, where Spencer is reeling after Garrett has been voted off. J'tia is just glad that she's still around, but I don't think that she will be for long. Kass and Tasha think that they'll keep her around for an alliance of girls, but I think that they'll get sick of her before then. Over at Crazytown, also known as wherever Tony is, he decides to come clean to Sarah about being a cop, since there was really no point in him lying about it in the first place.

Back from Tribal Council, the members of 'Stealth 'R Us' (I still hate that name) immediately leave to discuss what happened at the last Tribal Council. They believe that Malcolm, Eddie and Reynold no longer have any Immunity Idols, but as only we (and Malcolm) know, that's wrong. Phillip and Cochran are discussing Dawn, and how you might be able to win against her, when they hear Dawn screaming. She's freaking out about something and it's hard to understand what she's saying, but I think she has a dental retainer for bottom teeth that she had replaced, and she somehow lost it. She doesn't want anyone else to know (well, we all know about it now)

The producers named Episode 2 “Total Dysfunction.” And that about sums it up. Michael tries to start out this episode on a better note, telling the girls that he watched their fire while they were at tribal council, but the women aren't that impressed. Alicia thinks that Christina made herself look crazy at tribal council. Does she not realize that Christina wasn't the only one yelling? Alicia looks at least as crazy, if not more so. Alicia and Christina do that woman thing where they pretend to talk things out, and pretend that everything is OK, when it clearly is not. Alicia even offers a classic non-apology, “I'm sorry that's how you feel.” But Alicia wants to keep Christina around a bit longer to help win challenges, since Nina “looks like a bag of rocks.” The women decide to make Sabrina their leader, which she refers to as “leading the airheads.” This is not an untrue analogy, from what I've seen so far. Wow, Kat is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

We open this week at the Brain tribe after Tribal Council, where Spencer is reeling after Garrett has been voted off. J'tia is just glad that she's still around, but I don't think that she will be for long. Kass and Tasha think that they'll keep her around for an alliance of girls, but I think that they'll get sick of her before then. Over at Crazytown, also known as wherever Tony is, he decides to come clean to Sarah about being a cop, since there was really no point in him lying about it in the first place.

We start out tonight's episode at Tadhana, where everyone is still reeling from the Tribal Council. Ciera realizes that Caleb acted without Hayden or Vytas knowing, and she sees an opportunity for a new alliance. Either way, she's glad that she's still in the game. Now for the awkward moment where Brad arrives at Redemption Island. It's not as bad as it could be, mostly because Candace is elated that he got voted out. Now all they have to do is survive the next couple of days together until the next challenge.

At Bikal, after last week's Tribal Council, Michael is glad that he survived. Corinne gloats about getting to keep "her gay" which is gone beyond annoying and getting downright offensive. Phillip takes Corinne and Dawn aside and tells them about how he 'threw' the challenge so they had to go to Tribal Council. They believe it as much as Cochran did last week, which is to say, not at all.   Dawn is anxious about the upcoming merge, since this is when her game fell apart last time.

[Note: Sorry there was no recap last week; I had technical troubles, and wasn't close to my PVR. (Lesson learned, I'm taking it everywhere with me from now on.) So, of course, a ton of things happened, including Shamar leaving the game for medical reasons, and then the rest of the Fans realized that they couldn't get rid of Eddie or Reynold if they wanted a chance of winning, well, anything. So then they voted out Laura instead.] This week, it seems Brandon's Crazy will go from whispering in his ear to taking full control of his body.

The Final Five are back from Tribal Council (minus Carter) and Abi thanks the rest for keeping her. She can't believe it, and frankly, I can't either. I've been waiting about four episodes for her to go home. Of course, that means she'll probably make it to the end. Abi thinks that she might have fooled the rest of the tribe with her fake Immunity Idol; um no, when you didn't play it, that made it pretty obvious you don't have one. Malcolm no longer trusts Lisa because of her comments at the last Tribal Council about preferring to take someone to the final three that she can beat.