Toilet Paper

An image of Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake's face on a roll of toilet paper recently circulated on the Internet has sparked turmoil within the local firefighters union whose members created it. The image, and another of Fire Chief James Clack's face in a toilet bowl, were determined to have been created and distributed online last month by two members of the Baltimore Firefighters Local 734 union who are now being disciplined, president Rick...

Liz Atwood writes: Last year, my boys told me they were too old for trick or treating. This year, they suddenly seem interested in Halloween again. The 16-year-old is trying to decide what villain he would like to be. He has narrowed it down Gollum from "Lord of the Rings" or the Batman nemesis Bane. The 11-year-old wants to be the hooded slasher from Assassin's Creed. Besides being underwhelmed with their character choices, I'm wondering if they are too old for trick-or-treating.

In the modern world, people do not live by food alone.They need toilet paper, too.So a group of seventh-grade students at Westminster West Middle School decided to raise toilet paper. Literally."Most of the shelters can get food, but there are other important things that are needed," said Katie Kanzler, who is Team 6 "moderator," something like a team senator to the student government.Katie and her classmates brought rolls from home and raised money with raffles to buy more rolls. Team 6 treasurer Chrissy Seiler suggested they have a contest to see which of the four homerooms could build the highest pyramid of toilet paper.

An image of Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake's face on a roll of toilet paper recently circulated on the Internet has sparked turmoil within the local firefighters union whose members created it. The image, and another of Fire Chief James Clack's face in a toilet bowl, were determined to have been created and distributed online last month by two members of the Baltimore Firefighters Local 734 union who are now being disciplined, president Rick...

Q: My daughter is now 4, and since she was 18 months old she has had pain in her vagina. Her doctor said it is probably yeast infections.Could it be anything else? What can be done to help reduce the pain and the recurrence?A: Your question presents a puzzle difficult to put together without more information. We can only work with the clues provided by your description and your doctor's reaction.We're not certain your daughter is having vaginal pain, especially beginning at 18 months. We believe the answer lies in thinking about what can cause irritation to the vagina or vulva.

You say toMAto. I say toMAYto.You roll from the top. I roll from the bottom.Recognizing that toilet paper, like so many things, is a highly individual matter, a Norwalk, Conn., bathroom tissue manufacturer has conducted a national survey that attempts to answer that age-old question: What becomes a toilet paper most?The answers: softness, followed closely by strength; fluffiness, if you will pardon the expression, brings up the rear.And -- the choice of three out of four of us -- rolled down from the top instead of the bottom.

FOR SHEER entertainment value, there is nothing like a full-blown Baltimore snow panic. I love how we get whipped into a frenzy by the local TV stations and their apocalyptic coverage of the storm's approach, including the obligatory footage of sand trucks and salt mounds at the ready and interviews with grim-faced snowplow drivers vowing to "stay out there all night" until the terrible conditions have been subdued and decent, God-fearing citizens can...

New Orleans. -- I'm going to tell you a deep dark secret. When I was about 10 years old I went to a Pioneer summer camp in the Carpathian mountains. Pioneers were Communist boyscouts -- we wore little red kerchiefs around our necks and did stuff in the woods.My father came to visit one weekend. It was the first time I'd seen him in about a year so I was quite thrilled. We did some father-son stuff, kicked a ball for five minutes, and then I watched him smoke. When he finished his cigarette, he gave me 200 lei and left.

The 1,250 students at South Carroll High School were evacuated for 55 minutes yesterday after someone ignited a roll of toilet paper in a second-floor bathroom.The resulting fire inexplicably sent smoke throughout the F and G sections of the school, in the 1300 block of W. Old Liberty Road, about 1:40 p.m., but fire officials said it appeared that there was no other damage.Dr. Robert Bowden, an assistant principal, said he was told of smoke in a hallway at the western end of the school and sounded the alarm to evacuate the students, staff and teachers, and alert the fire department.

Attention those of you with bad breath, a deep-rooted love of toilet paper and a hankering to yo-yo with a crowd: The Bowie Baysox want you. Marking its 15th home opener tonight, the Orioles' Double-A affiliate is filling its dance card with the bizarre. On May 26, the team will try to break the U.S. record for group yo-yoing (630) set in 1991 at Marley Station in Glen Burnie. "We're going for 1,500," said Phil Wrye, assistant general manager who oversees marketing. Why 1,500? That's how many toys he ordered Tuesday.

In her capacity as youth ambassador and spokesperson for the Towson Area Citizens on Patrol, Amy Williams drew on her own experience in connecting with younger children. "I really got to become a role model for a lot of the younger kids, and teach them that it's OK: if you see something suspicious, you need to say something," she said. "You can't just let that go by," she said. "You need to tell an adult, tell someone you trust, tell your parent. "Even if you're 6 years old, you can still make a difference.

As we come to the close of another challenging year on the economic front for many, local nonprofit groups throughout the area are struggling to make ends meet and address growing needs in the community. These groups and the people they serve need our help more than ever. Below is a listing of local helping organizations seeking donations of either money or items, or both. In this season of giving and Thanksgiving, please share your blessings, by giving to those less fortunate.

Fresh from his day job at Leith Walk Elementary School, Jason Weems took to a comedy club stage in Annapolis recently, knowing he would need the funniest lines to win the crowd over. So, he simply told them about his day. "This actually just happened," Weems began. "A little boy in my class, just sitting there talking to me. " "He is like, 'I'm gonna be a teacher when I grow up, I'm gonna have a house, I'm gonna get a job, and I'm gonna get a Carfax,'" Weems continued, giggles rising from the crowd.

The Great Snowstorm of 2009 is over and the Ravens' playoff hopes are looking bright, and if you don't think the two are related, you weren't paying attention this weekend. Look, this was the biggest December snowstorm to hit the Baltimore area since they started keeping records back in 1883. Twenty-one inches - that's like the end of the world around here. But judging by the Ravens' 31-7 rout of the Chicago Bears on Sunday at M&T Bank Stadium, I'm guessing this team is fine with a snowstorm hitting before every home game.

T he Great Snowstorm of 2009 is over and the Ravens' playoff hopes are looking bright, and if you don't think the two are related, you weren't paying attention this weekend. Look, this was the biggest December snowstorm to hit the Baltimore area since they started keeping records back in 1883. Twenty-one inches - that's like the end of the world around here. But judging by the Ravens' 31-7 rout of the Chicago Bears on Sunday at M&T Bank Stadium, I'm guessing this team is fine with a snowstorm hitting before every home game.

To save a buck, would you separate two-ply toilet paper to create two rolls out of one? Would you duct-tape holes in your winter coat? Scavenge in trash bins for unspoiled food to eat? "There are stores and restaurants that do throw out perfectly good food," says J.D. Roth, who blogs about personal finance at getrichslowly.org. "But it's too extreme for me." It seems everyone these days is trying to find ways to pinch pennies, although, granted, the examples above could be labeled extreme personal finance.

A low-pressure system from the Midwest brought up to a half-foot of snow to Western Maryland yesterday while dusting the Baltimore area with an inch or less. The wet snow crossed the Ohio Valley late Monday, moved east into Maryland from Virginia before noon and picked up as the afternoon and evening wore on. It was joined by a similar low-pressure system that landed here from the Carolina coast. By about 9:30 p.m. yesterday, snow dressed trees and lawns in Baltimore but was not accumulating on salted roadways.

Lengths of snowy paper cover the floor of the rectangular stage at Sydonne's Event Hall. They drift around the bedposts and the ankles of the actors. Several strips, unrolled, form a makeshift screen for video projections. I thought at first that the streamers were made of crepe paper. But, it's not - the stuff is a disposable tissue found in finer bathrooms everywhere. And the decision to use toilet paper as a stage prop symbolizes much of what is right, but also some of what goes wrong, in this production of playwright Paula Vogel's The Baltimore Waltz.

I don't know how it is possible to lose the little spring-loaded tube that holds a standard toilet paper roll in a wall dispenser, but it recently happened in our house. Because this is not an item that falls into the needs-replacement-urgently category, I figured we could all deal with the roll of toilet paper sitting on the vanity or tank for a few days until we found the missing roll-holder thingy. After searching the wastebasket, linen closet and bathroom cabinets to no avail, I convinced myself that the expandable white cylinder would soon turn up in someone's backpack, purse or coat pocket - though I couldn't imagine why. It is one of those items that, in addition to being nameless, has only one conceivable function, which is to hold toilet paper.

Lengths of snowy paper cover the floor of the rectangular stage at Sydonne's Event Hall. They drift around the bedposts and the ankles of the actors. Several strips, unrolled, form a makeshift screen for video projections. I thought at first that the streamers were made of crepe paper. But, it's not - the stuff is a disposable tissue found in finer bathrooms everywhere. And the decision to use toilet paper as a stage prop symbolizes much of what is right, but also some of what goes wrong, in this production of playwright Paula Vogel's The Baltimore Waltz.