Tis

" 'Tis: A Memoir," by Frank McCourt. Scribner. 367 pages. $26.Frank McCourt's "'Tis" is the sequel to "Angela's Ashes," a runaway best seller three years ago in which he described his childhood and adolescence in Ireland. Here, he describes his emigration in 1949 to New York, his adult years including his service in the American army, and eventually the death of his mother, the eponymous Angela. If you liked the first book I suppose you'll like this one -- but it's hard for me to know why.In both books McCourt describes his "down and out" life -- his despairing childhood built around his father's drunkenness and abandonment of the family to killing poverty in the slums of Limerick; his adulthood of shiftless, self-indulgent, self-pitying behavior marked by drunken binges and various forms of abuse of women.

Whatever else she has learned along the way, Monica Samille Lewinsky has long seemed mindful of the aphorism that one never gets a second chance to make a first impression. Certainly, she made a vivid first impression on Bill Clinton, and the rest is history.So how will Lewinsky grab the attention of readers when "Monica's Story" goes on sale? What will her opening line or passages be? Consider these "first drafts of history" recovered from the hard disk of a computer in a location we dare not disclose:Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again -- in my Maidenform bra.*When I was one and twentyI heard a wise man sayGive pounds and crowns and guineas -- and ties, and funny little books about golf, and maybe a volume of Jewish witticisms --But not your heart away'Tis paid with sound bites aplenty,And sold for millions in endless rueAnd I am five-and-twentyAnd Oh 'tis true, 'tis true.

It's that time of year again, campers, so all together now:What were they thinking?* The wildly overstyled, overstuffed and underwhelming "Elizabeth" nominated for best picture over and above Peter Weir's captivating pop-culture fantasy "The Truman Show"?* The leaden, tin-eared "Primary Colors" nominated for best-adapted screenplay rather than Paul Schrader's finely calibrated adaptation of the Russell Banks novel "Affliction"?* Two very uneven films ("Hilary and Jackie," "Gods and Monsters")

I USED to think that my status as a recovering alcoholic -- drinkless for 15 years as of July -- gave me a modicum of expertise on the problem of alcoholism. But every time I write about it, I get a pile of letters from people telling me that I don't know what the heck I'm talking about.I don't know who these people are, or why they get so upset about my viewpoint. I sometimes get the feeling that maybe they're ticked off about something else altogether and just grab any opportunity that comes along to read me the riot act.Whatever.

Act III, Scene 1Calmet is sitting on the trainer's table. The trainer, Sciaticus, has just left, leaving him alone with his thoughts and his ever-present copy of "The Fountainhead." Calmet picks up his cell phone to call his agent, Ronencrantz, then stops, and addresses the empty room.To streak, or not to streakThat is the questionWhether 'tis nobler among the fansTo suffer the slings and arrows of the outrageous sports columnistsOr to wield my glove against a sea of groundersAnd by opposing, bobble them: To rest: to sit;No more; and by a rest to say we endThe backache, and the thousand natural shocksThe hot corner's heir to, 'tis a conundrumDeftly to be avoided.

Trusted Information Systems Inc. said yesterday that the U.S. government has agreed to allow the export of stronger encryption software than ever before, as long as the encryption is packaged with the company's technology to recover encrypted files in an emergency.Since 1993, the federal government has refused to allow export of most strong encryption products, fearing terrorists or international criminals might abuse encryption to communicate worldwide without fear of law enforcement.Citing that fear, U.S. officials until recently allowed export only of relatively simple encryption systems using short algorithmic "keys" that critics believed could be deciphered too easily.

There is no defense for excluding other seasons, but this is the time of year in which I most think of reading aloud - the joys that offers the reader and the read-to alike, the discoveries, the intensity, the connections of mind and heart that can enrich all involved.That, in turn, brings up poetry. People read poetry for many reasons. It is easy to forget that the most potent original and continuing element of poetry is how it sounds. What's the music of poetry when you read it silently?

All right, the Republicans are back in power in Congress. No more liberal schmaltz in terms of New Year adages. It's back to basics. And nobody could be more basic than Benjamin Franklin's "Poor Richard's Almanack," which first made its appearance in 1732.On New Year's Eve and Day in early America, colonists often would read passages from two basic volumes -- the Bible and Poor Richard -- as a means of starting off the calendar on the right moral foot. And, of course, colonists had enormous respect for editor Franklin, whose conservatism, exemplified in business success and civic leadership, was enhanced with each passing year until his death in 1790.

I'm handing out Christmas gifts today that I hope will come in handy in 1995. If you aren't among the recipients, don't feel bad. In this case, it's truly better to give than receive.To Susan B. Gray: A townhouse in Columbia where she can mix with the little people.To Charles I. Ecker: An apology from Ms. Gray, who mounted one of the nastiest campaigns in memory in an attempt to unseat the popular executive. Throughout, Mr. Ecker remained civil. He's a nice guy who deserves his reputation.

'Tis the season to say 'tis the season.If you pick up any newspaper at this time of year (including this one), the proliferation of holiday puns, plays on favorite Christmas carols and seasonal literary allusions can make you woozier than spiked eggnog. We're in an absolute tizzy. No, make that a 'tis-y. And a 'twas-y, too, as in " 'Twas the night before Christmas . . ."Everybody does it. Using a computer data base, The Sun searched the 49 largest newspapers in the country for the December usage of the following phrases over the last five years: "The Grinch who stole . . ."