Table Manners

My 9-year-old granddaughter is a bright child with intelligent parents, but her table manners are deplorable. I'm afraid her peers are going to ridicule her when she gets older if something doesn't change. It's hard to be a grandparent and see this going on and not be able to say anything. Any ideas?S.H., Poughkeepsie, N.Y.Invite the child to dinner and serve some lighthearted lessons in table manners along with her favorite foods.HTC But before picking up the first salad fork, grandparents should get the blessings of the child's parents, the experts say.With permission granted, make the first date.

It took almost 56 years, but I've finally mastered my table manners, and in the process learned something about the curious and controversial history of the fork. And all it took was two hours of bearing up under Carol Haislip's patrician gaze as she waved the silver instrument of torture with the twisted prong known as a "butter pick" through the air, perilously close to my throat. Possibly, the danger was all in my mind. It's true that I lack the higher, lower and intermediate social graces - I am a child of the lawless '70s, after all. And it's equally true that I had never fully grasped silverware's potential for inflicting bodily harm until I attended "Fish Forks and Finger Bowls," a seminar that teaches table manners to adults.

Bay Theatre Company is ending its season with a bit of a tease: Table Manners, the first play of Alan Ayckbourn's trilogy, The Norman Conquests. Little is resolved at the end, and the cast made me wish we could see the rest of the trilogy and peer into the mirror it held up to the audience. Bay Theatre co-founders Janet Luby and Lucinda Merry-Browne intended to continue next season with the remaining two segments, Living Together and Round and Round the Garden, but the women said this seems unlikely because the plays would require more stage space than is available.

All six children left in Laverne Randall's care receive a nightly buffet. By the time she picks the kids up from a summer program, they have already eaten. When Randall arrives at her home a block away, she has another hot meal ready on the stove. "I cook every day. They eat [at the center], then they go to my house and eat," said Randall, who watches the kids during the evening before their parents pick them up. But not all of the other 35 elementary school-age children who take part in the Pimlico Road Summer Youth Program are as fortunate.

It took almost 56 years, but I've finally mastered my table manners, and in the process learned something about the curious and controversial history of the fork. And all it took was two hours of bearing up under Carol Haislip's patrician gaze as she waved the silver instrument of torture with the twisted prong known as a "butter pick" through the air, perilously close to my throat. Possibly, the danger was all in my mind. It's true that I lack the higher, lower and intermediate social graces - I am a child of the lawless '70s, after all. And it's equally true that I had never fully grasped silverware's potential for inflicting bodily harm until I attended "Fish Forks and Finger Bowls," a seminar that teaches table manners to adults.

Today's etiquette topic is: Proper Table (burp) Manners.I have here a letter from Jean Gerdes, who teaches family and consumer science to sixth-graders at the Donegal Middle School in Marietta, Pa. She states:"I would like to ask your help in teaching my students the importance of good manners. I have found that if they can see how good manners might help them in their future, they are more motivated to learn and practice them. It would be a great help if you could write a brief letter about what is involved in your profession and how manners, particularly table manners, impact your career."

We opened an advance copy of the new paperback edition of Margaret Visser's award-winning treatise, "The Rituals of Dinner: The Origins, Evolution, Eccentricities and Meaning of Table Manners" (Penguin, $12.50) at random to page 140 and began reading:"Dinners at 17th Century Versailles were brought to the royal table under armed guard, to forestall thefts and tampering. . . . The dishes had to travel an enormous distance -- nearly a quarter of a mile -- to their destination; as the formidable procession passed by, courtiers would take off their hats and bow, murmuring 'C'est viande du Roi' ('It is the King's meat')

Celebrating its fifth year, Bay Theatre will offer its first four-play season, with a variety designed to appeal to audiences of diverse ages and cultures. Bay Theatre is the only professional not-for-profit company in Annapolis, employing experienced directors, designers and actors to create an exceptional experience for audiences. Opening tonight is Ira Levin's comic thriller Deathtrap, which tells of a once-successful murder-mystery playwright who is so desperate for another hit play that he will do almost anything to find it. "This play is filled with brilliant contemporary wit, and it's full of tension," co-founder Lucinda Merry-Browne said.

IT IS HARD for an old pancake maker to try a new recipe. Yet, last Sunday morning, I found myself taking a bold new step in pancakes. I made cornmeal mush, then fashioned the mush into pancakes and cooked them on a hot griddle. The result was small, golden cakes, with an oval shape and a distinct corn flavor. I was coaxed into making these cornmeal pancakes by the charm of Emily Whaley. Mrs. Whaley died in 1998 at the age of 87. Before she left this Earth, she gathered some of her favorite recipes and stories, and with the help of writer William Baldwin, put them in a cookbook called "Mrs.

During her tenure as a training manager for Bank of America, Brooke Hodges deliberately took job candidates to lunch and watched. Did the men pull out chairs for women? Did the candidates say "please" and "thank you"? Did they put their napkins on their laps? Did they wait for everyone to be served before eating? A business or interview meal can be stressful enough without taking etiquette into account. Manners at the dining table, even in today's relaxed society, are still an important part of making a good impression on a potential employer or business associate.

Bay Theatre Company is ending its season with a bit of a tease: Table Manners, the first play of Alan Ayckbourn's trilogy, The Norman Conquests. Little is resolved at the end, and the cast made me wish we could see the rest of the trilogy and peer into the mirror it held up to the audience. Bay Theatre co-founders Janet Luby and Lucinda Merry-Browne intended to continue next season with the remaining two segments, Living Together and Round and Round the Garden, but the women said this seems unlikely because the plays would require more stage space than is available.

Celebrating its fifth year, Bay Theatre will offer its first four-play season, with a variety designed to appeal to audiences of diverse ages and cultures. Bay Theatre is the only professional not-for-profit company in Annapolis, employing experienced directors, designers and actors to create an exceptional experience for audiences. Opening tonight is Ira Levin's comic thriller Deathtrap, which tells of a once-successful murder-mystery playwright who is so desperate for another hit play that he will do almost anything to find it. "This play is filled with brilliant contemporary wit, and it's full of tension," co-founder Lucinda Merry-Browne said.

During her tenure as a training manager for Bank of America, Brooke Hodges deliberately took job candidates to lunch and watched. Did the men pull out chairs for women? Did the candidates say "please" and "thank you"? Did they put their napkins on their laps? Did they wait for everyone to be served before eating? A business or interview meal can be stressful enough without taking etiquette into account. Manners at the dining table, even in today's relaxed society, are still an important part of making a good impression on a potential employer or business associate.

IT IS HARD for an old pancake maker to try a new recipe. Yet, last Sunday morning, I found myself taking a bold new step in pancakes. I made cornmeal mush, then fashioned the mush into pancakes and cooked them on a hot griddle. The result was small, golden cakes, with an oval shape and a distinct corn flavor. I was coaxed into making these cornmeal pancakes by the charm of Emily Whaley. Mrs. Whaley died in 1998 at the age of 87. Before she left this Earth, she gathered some of her favorite recipes and stories, and with the help of writer William Baldwin, put them in a cookbook called "Mrs.

Food fights. Making animal noises during dinner. Finger smudges on the tablecloth.It's one thing for young children to behave this way at home. But unmannerly deeds can lead to embarrassing moments during holiday gatherings. What's an anxious parent to do? Many are turning to etiquette experts, who have started tailoring sessions specifically to helping little ones mind their Ps and Qs during the holidays.Deana Evans, who recently enrolled her 6-year-old son Tyler in a class taught at the Carrolltown Library, has modest goals.

OVER THE YEARS I've devoted many a fine spring afternoon to watching the horses go around the Maryland landscape. Only one of these excursions has been for a Preakness -- 1970, when I was 20 and a Pimlico usher for a day.I never pretended to be a turf expert but nevertheless took a certain amount of wagering money along. Never once did I exit a racetrack shortchanged for the total experience -- a sort of theater where the players are both humans and horses.And there are vivid costumes too -- another part of the racing game where there are winners and losers.

Aday on the presidential campaign trail:8 a.m. -- Addressing a breakfast meeting of the National Assn. of Librarians in Chicago, President Bush accuses Bill Clinton of holding a half-dozen overdue library books and of using an expired library card."

BALTIMORE -- If minnows could make merry sounds, a teeming pond would sound like this. It is 7:15 a.m., dark, cold and drizzling when, from the sidewalk in front of the winding stone steps that lead to the door of St. Ignatius Loyola Academy, the noisiness begins.It is the sound of young males boiling with an exuberance undampened by the damp, the hour or the fact that this is a day for final exams.They come from 19 zip codes, some leaving home before 6 a.m., some taking three buses. They head for home at 5:15 p.m. with several hours of homework ahead.

BALTIMORE -- If minnows could make merry sounds, a teeming pond would sound like this. It is 7:15 a.m., dark, cold and drizzling when, from the sidewalk in front of the winding stone steps that lead to the door of St. Ignatius Loyola Academy, the noisiness begins.It is the sound of young males boiling with an exuberance undampened by the damp, the hour or the fact that this is a day for final exams.They come from 19 zip codes, some leaving home before 6 a.m., some taking three buses. They head for home at 5:15 p.m. with several hours of homework ahead.

Today's etiquette topic is: Proper Table (burp) Manners.I have here a letter from Jean Gerdes, who teaches family and consumer science to sixth-graders at the Donegal Middle School in Marietta, Pa. She states:"I would like to ask your help in teaching my students the importance of good manners. I have found that if they can see how good manners might help them in their future, they are more motivated to learn and practice them. It would be a great help if you could write a brief letter about what is involved in your profession and how manners, particularly table manners, impact your career."