By Gregory P. Kane | October 12, 1990
It WAS a Sunday night. I was home early from my weekend job, so I had a chance to sit back, relax and watch my main man, Sean Connery, in "Outland." Or so I thought.At about 9:30 my son came storming into the house. "Dad!" he shouted, "That man down the street hit me!""What man?" I asked."Al's father!"(Al is not the real name of the boy whose father hit my son. It has been changed to spare the lad the embarrassGregory P.Kanement of having large numbers of people know his father is an idiot.
By Robert Kuttner | May 8, 1992
CONGRESS is on the verge of committing one more act of fiscal stupidity that would deplete what is left of public confidence in its judgment. Congress will soon take up a proposed amendment to the Constitution requiring the federal government to run a balanced budget.This idea, which has languished for more than a decade, has suddenly acquired new life because many members of Congress, stung by the House bank scandal, are looking for some symbol to signify fiscal prudence. But a constitutional balanced-budget amendment would signal the ultimate fiscal default.
By Dave Barry and Dave Barry,Knight Ridder / Tribune | March 30, 2003
EVERY YEAR, we return to Orlando, Fla. Instinct makes us do this. We are like the salmon who must swim upstream to spawn, and die. They are lucky. We must go to theme parks. A theme park is an amusement park where you pay one blanket admission fee, which is quite steep, but once you're inside, everything is totally free, except all the other stuff you end up buying, which will run you around $11,000 per child. Every few yards you find yourself stopping to buy high-priced theme-park food, theme-park merchandise, theme-park clothing, and theme-park photographs of yourself looking theme-park ugly.
By DAVE BARRY and DAVE BARRY,Knight Ridder / Tribune | December 23, 2001
WE CONTINUE to see evidence of an alarming decline in the quality of our nation's criminals. Consider the man who attempted to rob a mini-mart in the town of Vernon, Conn., as reported in a Journal Inquirer story sent in by alert reader Dan Thompson. The robber elected to wear a disguise, which was a good idea, since he was a regular customer of the store. The problem was the particular disguise he picked. Shaving cream. Yes. According to police, the man walked into the store with his face lathered in shaving cream, apparently believing that this made him unrecognizable.
By Joe Christensen and Joe Christensen,SUN STAFF | September 19, 2003
The Orioles tried to play a baseball game in the calm before the storm yesterday, and before Hurricane Isabel struck Baltimore, they faced the wrath of Hurricane George. New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner was seething after his team played the Orioles to a 1-1 draw at Camden Yards, in a game called by rain after the fifth inning, which denied former Orioles pitcher Mike Mussina his 200th career victory. "This was incredibly bad judgment and stupidity by the commissioner's office," Steinbrenner said in a statement.
By DAN BERGER | June 28, 1996
VMI lost to a bunch of girls.The Clinton administration pleads stupidity on the FBI files. Stupidity did not win the White House.The State Lottery Agency bet the store on Automated Watering International.Burn the currency, not the Treasury.Pub Date: 6/28/96
By Chris Kaltenbach and Chris Kaltenbach,Sun Movie Critic | April 13, 2007
What to make of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters? Impossible to say; this feature-length version of the absurdist Cartoon Network cartoon revels in its free-form stupidity - which is one of this avant-garde comic melange's chief delights. Aqua Teen Hunger Force (First Look Pictures) Voiced by Dana Snyder, Carey Means, Dave Willis. Written and directed by Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis. Rated R. Time 86 minutes.
By Rich Cohen | March 14, 1995
I GUESS MY father was always dumb. But in the decades when he was at his dumbest, the 1970s and 1980s, a high premium was not placed on random acts of stupidity. So whenever he behaved in a way that seemed somehow less than intelligent -- like the time he put a pile of forks in the microwave saying, "I just have to know" -- there were no critics there to call it art.Like lots of dumb people, my dad was born too early. His stupidity was something done in private, something only the family could enjoy.
September 13, 2011
I just happened to catch the opening ceremonies and Sept. 11 tribute prior to the Ravens-Steelers football game. It was a beautiful ceremony with a fantastic U.S. flag covering entire field. The organizers should be commended. Beautiful, that is, until it was marred by the ignorance and stupidity of a few Baltimore players who chose to keep their skull caps on while holding the massive flag. This makes me sick! Did the coaches, team officials or NFL executives not brief these players prior to the ceremony?
By Judith Schlesinger and Judith Schlesinger,Special to the Sun | March 14, 1999
"The Rooms of Heaven: A Story of Love, Death, Grief and the Afterlife," by Mary Allen. Knopf. 320 pages. $24.The Rooms of Heaven" is about love, death, the afterlife and several forms of madness, elements of which teeter on the edge of Oprah-land but never quite fall in, since Allen manages to steer around the puffy stereotypes that are common to such landscapes.Allen's "creative non-fiction" is fluid and fat-free. A graduate of the Iowa Writer's Workshop, she doesn't soft-pedal her own stupidity -- "what grabbed my imagination was drugs and sex and death, the sad, awful romance of self-destruction" -- nor does she bonk the reader over the head with Every Lesson Learned.
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