Salesmen

"Well, we all come from, you know, a sort of doctrinaire Marxist-Leninist background."! --Peter Chernin,President, Fox Entertainment GroupFox Broadcasting is doing it again.Most American viewers might have their channel scanners locked on NBC this week because of the Olympics, but this is the summer of Fox.Last month, Fox, again, went against the old rules of showing mainly reruns in summer, debuted a new series called "Melrose Place" and now has a brand new top-10 hit show that is all the buzz.

On the sales floor atop the Legg Mason Tower in downtown Baltimore, 18 trainees, shoes polished, suits dark, hair freshly cut, listened early last week as the brokerage firm's president, James Brinkley, began the parade of inspirational speakers that would, with any luck, initiate a enriching cycle for themselves, their clients and the firm."

Glenda Meads hopes the consumer protection arm of Maryland law is long enough to stretch across state lines and grab a bit of vengeance for the mental torture she says she suffered at the hands of fast-talking campsite salesmen.Mrs. Meads of Columbia is one of 5,000 Marylanders who signed agreements to buy campsites in Pennsylvania and Virginia after being lured to the places by promotional brochures from Outdoor World, a resort company in Bushkill, Pa., and then forced to take tours and listen to hours of sales pitches.

Tom Healy thought he knew all there was to know about cars. As a partner and the director of media and advertising services for the prestigious J.D. Power and Associates in Agoura Hills, Calif., Mr. Healy spends his days sifting through the hundreds of surveys on auto quality and buyer satisfaction that have made that company a major force in car marketing. Then the gender issue came along and bit him.Nancy Healy, Tom's wife, was looking for a car last summer, and Nancy is nothing if not thorough.

WE WERE WALKING through the mall and reflecting on the troubled state of the economy when a shopkeeper tackled me and dragged me into his store."Please buy this camcorder!" he begged, eyes wide with fear. "Only $630! Our lowest price ever!""But I don't need a camcorder," I said."OK, $530 and I'll throw in a free set of bath towels!"He was whimpering now, but showed no signs of relaxing his grip on my legs."Bath towels?" I said. 'But . . .?""God, why don't you use a ski mask and gun and get it over with!

All good ideas are eventually oversold. Corporate vision and values are no exception.The "vision and values thing" in business took off in the late '70s. To empower workers to focus on quality and service, companies ditched their four-pound policy manuals and instilled "spiritual" ideals about "what's important around here" that leave lots of room for individual initiative.The idea was -- and is -- right. But there are caveats. Before you know it, a value set becomes more rigid than the rule book it replaces.

When he was 11 years old, Arnold Hornstein tried to break in to a neighborhood car dealership. The new 1961 Chevrolet Biscaynes and Bel Airs were hidden under tarps on the lot, ready for the ritual autumn unveiling. And Arnold was crazy for an early peek.On a morning 31 years later, Mr. Hornstein sips coffee while he surveys another Chevrolet lot, lined with 1992 Cavaliers and Corvettes.There are no tarps. No secrets.And no customers."This used to be a big event," says Mr. Hornstein, a salesman at Fox Chevrolet in Woodlawn for 13 years.

TOKYO -- It's tough here, too.The home market of the country that has dominated the global auto industry is mired in one of its worst slumps, with sales down 2.1 percent this year.Although Japanese carmakers almost never resort to significant price cuts or rebates, there is practically no limit to what Japanese salesmen will do to win and keep a customer.This year, they're trying to increase sales by pushing a four-poster contraption that allows one car to be parked on top of another.Prices range from $1,200 to nearly $6,000, depending on the sizes of the two cars and the sophistication of the rack's access system, which can be as simple as two removable tire ramps or as fancy as a hydraulic lift.

A FRIEND of mine is going through a mid-life crisis and thinking about a career move from high school geometry teacher to ventriloquist.My feeling on the subject is this: We have far more lawyers in this country than we'll ever need. We also have too many newspaper columnists, pimps (that may be redundant) and car salesmen (ditto). Probably too many geometry teachers, too.But we have not yet reached the saturation point on ventriloquists, and the industry, while "soft" at the moment, could probably use an infusion of fresh talent.