Real Men

Yes, apparently they do, if you go by a recent pair of historical action flicks featuring macho Scotsmen in kilts."Rob Roy," starring Liam Neeson as the title character of Sir Walter Scott's adventure tale, and "Braveheart," with Mel Gibson as Scottish freedom fighter William Wallace, prove that showing off a nicely-shaped calf need not be the exclusive domain of females. Predictably, however, both of these Hollywood films can't leave it at that. As if to shout over any whispered fears that kilts are strictly for sissies, each movie is loaded with battle scenes, blood, guts, sex (heterosexual, naturally)

What if he had smacked her one? She's going after him with fists and feet. What if he had defended himself in kind? Or what if he had been the one who attacked her without physical provocation? Would it still be funny? As we all know from a leaked elevator surveillance video that has been replayed countless times on television and online, that's not how it happened. Instead, rapper and businessman Jay Z deflected the blows and at one point caught a kicking foot in midair, but otherwise made no aggressive moves as his sister-in-law, singer Solange Knowles, whaled on him. Beyonce -- his wife, her sister -- watched without interfering, and an overmatched bodyguard tried to keep the peace.

Although I have never met John Plevak, I like him. No, I take that back - I love the man ("A night to remember for Kauffman," Oct. 24). Mr. Plevak is the men's soccer coach at Stevenson University. Being the sensitive, compassionate man he obviously is, he allowed the team manager to play in a match against Hood College. For those who are uninformed, the manager, Kyle Kauffman, has cerebral palsy. Coach Plevak saw the bond that Kyle, a senior at Stevenson, had forged with the members of the soccer team.

Although I have never met John Plevak, I like him. No, I take that back - I love the man ("A night to remember for Kauffman," Oct. 24). Mr. Plevak is the men's soccer coach at Stevenson University. Being the sensitive, compassionate man he obviously is, he allowed the team manager to play in a match against Hood College. For those who are uninformed, the manager, Kyle Kauffman, has cerebral palsy. Coach Plevak saw the bond that Kyle, a senior at Stevenson, had forged with the members of the soccer team.

LISTEN, man, killing a man won't cool you off. Crushing a skull or slitting a throat won't make you a man or bring you any cool comfort. Not if you're sane.So listen:Before you commit an act you think makes you a man, an act you think marks you clearly in the minds of those who question your manhood, consider two things. First, you are searching for something you will never be able to identify if you think foolish acts of fear-thickened violence have anything to do with what manhood is about.

WASHINGTON -- GI Joe has gotten huge. Impossibly, seam-splittingly, unattainably huge. And that could mean big trouble for little boys.A new analysis of the changing physiques of action figures, by Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Harrison G. Pope, shows that today's figures -- from Joe to Batman to Luke Skywalker -- are rippling with huge pecs, delts and triceps they didn't have decades ago.Scaled to human size, the biceps of a GI Joe Extreme measure 26 inches around....

Boston. Miss those long afternoons together? Find yourself looking in the personals column for a burly 56-year-old in fatigues with a 170 IQ and a taste for Pavarotti? Desperately seeking a man who is caring but, well, commanding?If you are among the millions suffering from Schwarzkopf-withdrawal, take heart. The war may be over, the daily briefings may be kaput, but the general is not going to fade away.Norman Schwarzkopf, the certifiable (four) star of Operation Desert Storm and subject of more profiles than Sting, is now in for a postwar wave of attention.

In the 1962 Howard Lindsay-Russel Crouse-Irving Berlin Broadway musical, "Mr. President," one of the songs in the production is titled "The Secret Service," which begins, "The Secret Service makes me nervous ... " If allegations are true that at least 11 Secret Service agents and several members of the U.S. militaryconsorted with prostitutes prior to President Barack Obama's arrival in Cartagena, Colombia, it should make a lot of people nervous....

Mismatch: The Growing Gulf Between Men and Women, by Andrew Hacker. Scribner. 240 pages. $25. In the modern age, we have publishing's answer to the infomercial, and Mismatch seems to be a perfect example of this new development. The authors of these books try to sell you information you already know, and they do so with a cynical interest in market share that is simply breathtaking. Academics write these books in a language that is distinguished by its slipperiness and the use of the passive voice, along with a smarmy condescension to the reader.

For a long time, real men not only didn't eat quiche, they also didn't get flowers. But things change. Today, some florists estimate that 25 percent of their delivery calls are for men."There's been a real upsurge in the last couple of years," says Lynn Green at National Flora, a nationwide floral delivery service. "Last Valentine's Day, particularly, there were quite a few women ordering for men."Cris Wilkins, owner of Flowers by Michael in Baltimore, agrees."I've seen a definite change, especially in the last five to six years," says Wilkins, who has been in business for two decades.

In the 1962 Howard Lindsay-Russel Crouse-Irving Berlin Broadway musical, "Mr. President," one of the songs in the production is titled "The Secret Service," which begins, "The Secret Service makes me nervous ... " If allegations are true that at least 11 Secret Service agents and several members of the U.S. militaryconsorted with prostitutes prior to President Barack Obama's arrival in Cartagena, Colombia, it should make a lot of people nervous....

Please do not call Chris Oliver a metrosexual. Yes, the 33-year-old account manager wears boot-cut jeans, paid a silly amount of money at a high-end salon to find the perfect haircut and uses a dab of gooey product on his hair every morning. So, what of it? So, if that makes Oliver a metrosexual, then maybe NFL quarterback Chad Pennington and NASCAR driver Brian Vickers are, too. They are the latest models companies are using to put an increasingly manly face on hair gels, skin lotions and other personal grooming products.

JOSEPH EHRMANN, broad-shouldered Baltimore Colt of famous memory, a pastor of the 4,000- member Grace Fellowship Church, volunteer defensive coach of the Gilman School football team, and founder of a movement called Building Men For Others, took time out from his hectic schedule the other day to speak of things he knows best - football, guys and God. National Football League teams fly him out of Baltimore to speak about these things. Thursday he was due to counsel a group of abusive husbands at a shelter for battered women.

Think pink. If you're picturing ballerina shoes or a flouncy sundress - pretty, girlie, feminine things - then you're way behind the times. These days, pink is popping up in the most unlikely places. Over hairy chests. Covering bulging biceps. Atop a buzz cut. This is the summer of the masculine pink. Rappers, politicians, business types, inner-city boys on the city bus - all dressed in bubble gum, cotton candy, sunset pinks. For them, and other confident men, pink is the new white. "Pink is just fly," said Kenny McAllister, who studies lifestyle trends at the New York-based marketing company AMPdi.

Tim "Tank" Holland and Tom Szewczyk were just a couple of regular Joes from Dundalk until forced to deal with the awesome burden of celebrity. Now friends and neighbors stop and ask when the two will get their own cooking show on TV. Now when they walk into the bar at the Battle Grove Democratic Club, where they're long-time members, a cry goes up from the regulars like the one that greeted Norm when he strolled into Cheers. All of this stems from their coming appearance on the Food Network, on a new show called Food Fight that pits two-person teams in cook-offs against one another.

Mismatch: The Growing Gulf Between Men and Women, by Andrew Hacker. Scribner. 240 pages. $25. In the modern age, we have publishing's answer to the infomercial, and Mismatch seems to be a perfect example of this new development. The authors of these books try to sell you information you already know, and they do so with a cynical interest in market share that is simply breathtaking. Academics write these books in a language that is distinguished by its slipperiness and the use of the passive voice, along with a smarmy condescension to the reader.

What if he had smacked her one? She's going after him with fists and feet. What if he had defended himself in kind? Or what if he had been the one who attacked her without physical provocation? Would it still be funny? As we all know from a leaked elevator surveillance video that has been replayed countless times on television and online, that's not how it happened. Instead, rapper and businessman Jay Z deflected the blows and at one point caught a kicking foot in midair, but otherwise made no aggressive moves as his sister-in-law, singer Solange Knowles, whaled on him. Beyonce -- his wife, her sister -- watched without interfering, and an overmatched bodyguard tried to keep the peace.

Please do not call Chris Oliver a metrosexual. Yes, the 33-year-old account manager wears boot-cut jeans, paid a silly amount of money at a high-end salon to find the perfect haircut and uses a dab of gooey product on his hair every morning. So, what of it? So, if that makes Oliver a metrosexual, then maybe NFL quarterback Chad Pennington and NASCAR driver Brian Vickers are, too. They are the latest models companies are using to put an increasingly manly face on hair gels, skin lotions and other personal grooming products.

They have finally gone too far: insulting one man's meatloaf. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has attacked Paul Christ's bread and butter -- his $2.65 meatloaf lunch special.Meatloaf causes impotence?! Say that to our faces!!"Eating Meat Can Cause Impotence" says the latest, in-your-face billboard from PETA, the Virginia-based animal rights group now with a Baltimore connection. The billboard is plastered on a storage building on E. Monument Street, seductively overlooking Paul Christ's Dog House restaurant, where the motto is, "Our Meatloaf is Made -- Not Accumulated."

WASHINGTON -- GI Joe has gotten huge. Impossibly, seam-splittingly, unattainably huge. And that could mean big trouble for little boys.A new analysis of the changing physiques of action figures, by Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Harrison G. Pope, shows that today's figures -- from Joe to Batman to Luke Skywalker -- are rippling with huge pecs, delts and triceps they didn't have decades ago.Scaled to human size, the biceps of a GI Joe Extreme measure 26 inches around....