Real Housewives

In five years, the District Sample Sale has become the premiere shopping event in the region. The draw of more than 20 of the region's best boutiques selling end-of-season clothes at prices up to 90 percent off regularly attracts 700 shoppers to the twice-annual event. Supermodel Hilary Rhoda, actress Ali Wentworth and New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, have all braved the sea of thrifty fashionistas for a crack at the discounted duds in downtown D.C. "We tell new attendees every year to brace for the chaos," said Barbara Martin, head of the public relations and events firm BrandLinkDC, who founded the event with four other women in 2006.

Watching Bill Clinton act as Barack Obama's "No. 1 surrogate," in the words of National Public Radio, is as exquisitely painful as watching a runaway monkey with a paintball gun at a museum. Most of the pundits have focused on Mr. Clinton's motivations for refusing to read his lines from the White House script. That's understandable, given that Mr. Clinton is a one-man reality show whose diversity of motives makes the ladies of the "Real Housewives" franchise seem nun-like in their simplicity.

This week's episode begins at the Dubrow house with Terry clipping the toenails on his perfectly manicured feet. “It's OK not to tell a joke every second,” replies Heather when Terry asks why she has been so upset with him lately. Heather complains about how exhausting it is to be on “The Terry Dubrow Show” 24/7 and says she is tired of feeling not supported by her husband. Tamra invites the group (sans Alexis) to a wine-tasting trip for her Wines by Wives business she started with Vicki.

After her meeting with Scheana, Brandi sits down with Lisa to process it all. She almost feels sorry for Scheana, despite the fact that she continued to sleep with Eddie after discovering that Brandi was pregnant. But Brandi's being mature about it. It was his choice to leave. Scheana didn't twist his arm. But Brandi is trying to be strong and hold on. Kudos to her. Kyle visits Yolanda after suddenly remembering she's on this show, too. Yo Yo's collecting honey from her bee hives -- of freaking course -- and Kyle is not trying to get anywhere near all of that.

8 p.m. [Bravo] In case you missed it, this is the series premiere again (followed by another episode!). And it's heavily sports-related. One of the wives is Lisa Wu Hartwell (far left), whose husband is former Ravens linebacker Ed Hartwell. DeShawn Snow (second from right) is married to the Cleveland Cavaliers' Eric Snow (he has an apparently career-ending knee injury). I don't think anyone on this program is particularly worried about the economy - none is going to be mistaken for that Joe the Plumber from the last presidential debate.

As we embark on the fifth season with our favorite Atlanta housewives, there's a new mean girl in town. Kenya Moore, the second black woman to join the ranks of beauties as MISS USA, shows her ugly side as a judge for JET magazine Black Beauty of The Week casting. Our ears are still ringing from her sounding off about some of the contestants' "coochie crack," showing in their swimsuits. But more on Kenya later. In other housewives-related news, even if you had been under a rock all summer you still heard that NeNe Leakes has more than self-proclaimed long money -- yes she's "rich b----.

It's the finale! As in, "thank God it's finally over!" The women are still in Bimini, and now they're trapped by bad weather. Marysol suggests the women cleanse themselves of the bad things in their life. How does one do that? You take apart an expensive flower arrangement, get into the ocean, wipe a flower all over your body as you talk about your problems and then throw the flower in the water. The women all say very serious and thoughtful things.  It's really unusual.

Who are these women? That's what I keep asking myself while watching this reunion special. I don't know if it's the studio lighting or the fact that Bravo's makeup artists beat these women's faces to within an inch of their lives, but something is different. Honestly, it's probably their behavior - so outwardly aggressive and petulant - that has thrown me off. Even Yolanda has been taken out of her character. When we pick things up at the second half of the reunion special, Kim and Kyle are still desperately trying to convince Lisa that Yolanda called her “full of s---” while they were in Paris.