Power Rangers

DAY THREE of my search for Mighty Morphin Power Ranger toys, and I grow weary. Sneering clerks in three stores behave as though I've asked for gold bullion when I inquire whether they have these items in stock.Driving home, I wonder whom to blame: retailers, manufacturers or the child who waited until November to articulate a need more profound than the need for food or water.Every Christmas there is one plaything everyone desires and no one can get. Sort of like the Hope Diamond. I will persevere.

As an American, I am ticked off about Sailor Moon.What is Sailor Moon, you ask? Shut up and I will tell you.Sailor Moon is a licensed-cartoon-character merchandising concept that is about to be dumped on us by the people who brought us "The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers."This is a daily TV show for kids starring the Power Rangers, a group of low-IQ trailer-park dwellers who have extramarital affairs with their in-laws and screech at each other in front of a live studio audience.No, wait, that's the Jerry Springer show.

MAYBE ALL the saccharine sentimentality being sprinkled over the toddlers of America by Barney the dinosaur will reverse a trend that's as old as Cain and Abel, but we doubt it: Boys will always love fightin' toys.GI Joe, of course, is going on its second generation, and has been one of the most durable characters in the doll world (along with Barbie). But Fightin' Joe is not alone; some of the hottest products on toy shelves this holiday season reflect the feeling that nothing warms a child's heart like a good karate chop or a flying wedge kick.

THE FOLLOWING comes from our correspondent in Toyland:Now that the world has discovered the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, we figure the next news to come down the pike will be this: They're one of the worst-made toys you'll find.Our son got three "rangers" for the holidays from relatives. (No mean feat considering that Bandai Co. of Japan was able to produce only 600,000 of the action figures before Christmas against an estimated demand of 12 million pieces, according to the Wall Street Journal.

Channel chic: Broadcast television has a fashion show, "Main Floor," a syndicated magazine format half-hour that focuses on names and how-tos. In a video world where Elsa Klensch does high fashion, MTV does hip and QVC does home, "Main Floor" does mainstream.Each weekly episode includes beauty hints, shopping tips, a look at new products and backstage talks with designers, movers and models.Producers promise fashion chat for the guys, the almost forgotten television fashion audience. Sunday's segment goes to the MAGIC show in Las Vegas, a huge design and trade presentation of menswear lines that draws top manufacturers of everything from boxer shorts to tuxedos.

Charles Kuralt shows up in prime time tonight. That's the good news. So do the "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers." That's the bad news.* "The Simpsons" (8 p.m.-8:30 p.m., WBFF, Channel 45) -- In tonight's rerun episode, Bart wins a pachyderm in a radio contest. I'd give more details, but they're irrelephant. Fox repeat.* "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" (8:30 p.m.-9 p.m., WBFF, Channel 45) -- Be afraid. Be very afraid. This is Fox's first prime-time glimpse at the latest craze to infect children's television.

It is 6:30 in the morning and dawn is bleeding over the tree line. I'm standing in a line in front of a Wal-Mart. There are about 20 bleary-eyed people ahead of me. By the time the store opens at 7, there will be 40 more folks behind me. With hands jammed in coat pockets to ward off the season's first frost, everyone is fairly quiet, but there's a nervous edge to this crowd. Few words need to be exchanged. Like the earthlings drawn to the spaceship in ''Close Encounters of a Third Kind,'' we all know why we're here.

ASO PERFORMANCE Join the Annapolis Symphony Orchestra as it waves farewell to summer and performs the last show of the 2007 Lexus Summer Concert Series. Conducted by ASO music director Jose-Luis Novo, the orchestra will perform a selection of patriotic, Broadway and film classics that will give a preview of the coming season. Some of the selections planned include favorites such as Aaron Copland's "Buckaroo Holiday," Malcolm Arnold's "Four Scottish Dances" and selections from George Gershwin's Porgy and Bess.

It is 10:30 in the morning at FAO Schwarz in the Towson Town Center and the Barbie section looks like someone stuck a sign in the window that says: "Buy a Barbie, your next mortgage payment's on us!"Stepping nimbly through the crowd, Jeri Thornton, assistant merchandising manager, passes Bicyclin' Barbie, Camp Barbie, Earring Magic Barbie, Silver Screen Barbie, Troll Barbie, Shopping Spree Barbie, Happy Holidays Barbie and Dance N' Twirl Barbie ("The first doll ever to dance by radio control!"

I now have a distinction that, I believe, no other columnist in the country or the world can claim. Maybe in the history of the world.But first, the background.The other evening, I went to the Rosemont Horizon to see a live performance of the Mighty Morphin Power RangersThere were two reasons for my going to the show:1. As an observer of our society's pop culture, I wanted to see firsthand why America's children have made this their favorite show.2. My 7-year-old son had begged me to take him and his buddy to see it.Walking through the parking lot, which seemed to be filled with mini-vans, I was briefed by both kids on what to expect.