Paris Hilton

BOSTON -- Now let us praise Paris Hilton. This is not a phrase I ever expected to fall from my lips or my laptop. The high school dropout and celebutante is the heiress that America loves to ridicule. Nevertheless, I raise a glass to Ms. Hilton, the young and the spoiled, the rich and rhymes-with-rich, after the near-death experience of the estate tax. Ms. Hilton may yet become the unwitting icon who pulls us from the brink of policy madness. The Senate almost permanently eliminated the inheritance tax and the billions it raises every year.

We pick things up at Kyle's Morrocan dinner party with Mauricio continuing to go in on Brandi. After Brandi finally tells Mauricio to go eff off, Kyle jumps in and whispers to Mauricio to back off. In her confessional, Kyle tells all: "You can't control what comes out of that girl's mouth. " It's annoying because Mauricio was definitely berating Brandi for about 30 minutes. People have limits. Kyle tries to gloss over it all, making it clear she didn't want Brandi to be attacked tonight and explaining that Mauricio's tight with Adrienne, so he felt compelled to insert himself into the drama.

We pick things up at Kyle's Morrocan dinner party with Mauricio continuing to go in on Brandi. After Brandi finally tells Mauricio to go eff off, Kyle jumps in and whispers to Mauricio to back off. In her confessional, Kyle tells all: "You can't control what comes out of that girl's mouth. " It's annoying because Mauricio was definitely berating Brandi for about 30 minutes. People have limits. Kyle tries to gloss over it all, making it clear she didn't want Brandi to be attacked tonight and explaining that Mauricio's tight with Adrienne, so he felt compelled to insert himself into the drama.

How Brangelina keep their kids' little hands busy this time of year What will Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie give their six kids for Christmas? Something preferably handmade, says Pitt. "We do exchange gifts, although we don't feel any pressure to make them big or expensive gifts," the 44-year-old actor tells Hello! magazine. "The kids don't ask for the big gifts for the reason that they don't see a lot of the American cartoon television, which is packed with all those manipulative commercials," he said.

Paris Hilton is still in jail. This fact can be confirmed at IsParisInJailRightNow.com. Go there and you'll get a one-word answer that takes up half your computer screen: YES. If, by some odd turn of events, Paris is no longer in jail, you'll most likely see a NO, but for the time being Paris is behind bars and bloggers can continue to revel in the absurdity of the situation, not the least of which includes their own over-the-top consumption of this...

WASHINGTON -- Forgive me. I thought I could avoid writing about Paris Hilton. Alas, popular demand (translation: my persistent wife) thought otherwise. Immigration, global warming, and the congressman caught with $90,000 stuffed in his freezer can hardly compete for public attention with the many ironies of the hotel heiress. You might think that a publicity magnet such as Ms. Hilton, for whom privacy is but a rumor, would carefully abide by the rules of her 36-month probation from last year's drunken driving arrest.

As if seeing Paris Hilton's face constantly splashed all over TV and tabloids wasn't enough, now it seems that we'll also be hearing her this summer on the radio. The Hilton Hotel heiress' first single, out last week, already is garnering significant buzz. And the fabulously rich international party girl is set to release Paris, her debut CD, sometime in August, according to her label, Warner Bros. It's rumored to be a potpourri of pop, hip-hop, R&B and club music. If the speedy success of first single "Stars Are Blind" is any indication, Hilton's CD may be one of the most hotly anticipated albums of the summer.

Are you heartbroken that Paris Hilton has been sentenced to jail? Me neither. I take it as welcome evidence that occasionally karma gets it right and the universe slaps those most in need of slapping. Rarely has comeuppance been more desperately deserved. Not just because she is a famous-for-nothing socialite, nor just because she is an empty vessel inexplicably adored by people for whom vacuousness is apparently synonymous with worth. No, comeuppance is needed here because the woman embodies such smug certainty that the rules do not apply to her. More to the point, because of the utter contempt she oozes for those who are not like her, i.e., not monied, privileged, pretty, white and heedless.

So, what do you call a New York-born, Muslim-raised, self-described "redneck" girl? (She grew up in Georgia.) You call her Noureen DeWulf. You've already probably seen her onscreen in Pledge This! with Paris Hilton and any second, she'll burn up the Cineplex in Ocean's Thirteen with all those guys who are pals of George Clooney. But if you can't wait, pick up Maxim. There's Noureen in skin-tight jeans and a pristine white bra. She wears spiky leather boots in some shots, stiletto platform heels in others.

There's nothing simple about The Simple Life, Fox TV's new reality series about two Beverly Hills jet-setters who move in with a farm family in the Ozarks. The show, which stars wealthy party girls Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie and premieres tonight, could be described as a reality-TV version of CBS' Green Acres, the 1965 sitcom about a Manhattan attorney (Eddie Albert) and his socialite wife (Eva Gabor) who move to a ramshackle farm outside the fictional town of Hooterville. Or it could be viewed as yet another reality TV series featuring whacked-out celebrities such as The Osbournes or The Anna Nicole Show.

The pile of dough 'House' builds to be bigger for actor Hugh Laurie Hugh Laurie will reportedly become one of TV's highest-paid stars under the terms of a new deal with Universal Media Studios. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Laurie's pact will keep him with his hit Fox drama House through the 2011-2012 season. The trade paper says Laurie's new salary will be roughly $400,000 per episode, or more than $9 million a season. Laurie, whose original House salary was only in the mid-five-figure range, might also get a producing credit of some sort.

I WASN'T there, so I can't comment." That's Lindsay Lohan's press rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnick, responding to reports that her talented client, supposedly clean and sober, was zonked out on vodka cocktails the other night in Manhattan. I like this answer. It works best, whatever the truth of the situation. I suppose all reps should use it in the first hours of a story breaking. Miss Lohan was photographed with eyes closed and hand to head in a car outside the club where she reportedly imbibed.

Keiffer Mitchell thought he was done with City Hall when he lost last year's race for mayor. Then came the notice from the housing department, ordering him to fix the "defective" paint on his brick Bolton Hill townhouse - or face a criminal misdemeanor charge that carries $500-a-day fine. "It seemed to be much ado about my paint," the former city councilman said with a laugh. No question that the yellow paint has worn off in spots, but the red brick that peeks through looks more like patina than neglect, even on a handsome street where the large townhouses fetch $500,000.

WHAT ARE we to make of Ashton Kutcher's new series, Pop Fiction? Kutcher, the creator of Punk'd - a show I dislike heartily - has now turned his trickery on the media, staging events with real celebrities (or faux celebs like Paris Hilton), fooling paparazzi and other press outlets. Kutcher says, "We're having fun, but we want to say to people, `Can you really believe everything you read and see?'" Uh. Really? I'm shocked, shocked to discover that things aren't always what they appear to be. I didn't believe Paris Hilton on Larry King, talking about changing her life, so why would her participation in a "real" stunt, change my outlook about the media, how it feeds off celebrity and how celebrity feeds off media?

Paris Hilton, famous as far as anyone knows for simply being Paris Hilton, hits the big screen in her first real starring role today. And reviews are resoundingly unforgiving for The Hottie and the Nottie. "Though Hilton may be a model, if her work in Hottie is any indication, she is no actress," writes Carrie Rickey of The Philadelphia Inquirer. Associated Press critic Christy Lemire talks of Hilton's "nonexistent acting range." The Miami Herald's Connie Ogle writes, "Starring in an explicit sex tape or sobbing as you're shipped off to jail or wearing giant shirts with your own picture on them aren't nearly so humiliating as being associated with this rubbish."

Can it be true that the now free-as-a-bird Paris Hilton is telling people that her "Uncle Warren" got in touch with her and said he hoped she'd get out and stump for Hillary Clinton, luring other young people to get up off their couches and vote? Could Paris have actually meant she'd been talking to Warren Beatty, the political activist, fond father, excellent husband of Annette and star-director-producer of movies himself? We hear that Warren did influence one young star to go on to better things.

I like to check people. Push people down. -- Paris Hilton, via AP Radio, explaining why she likes to play ice hockey.

"To the outside world, it's a big fat market where you have people like Paris Hilton going to parties. ... I think the festival is close to being out of control." Robert Redford commenting on how the Sundance Film Fes tival has changed since he cre ated it AP quoting Newsweek

Paris Hilton is still in jail. This fact can be confirmed at IsParisInJailRightNow.com. Go there and you'll get a one-word answer that takes up half your computer screen: YES. If, by some odd turn of events, Paris is no longer in jail, you'll most likely see a NO, but for the time being Paris is behind bars and bloggers can continue to revel in the absurdity of the situation, not the least of which includes their own over-the-top consumption of this...