Parachute

WASHINGTON -- For many years, American commandos were assigned to volunteer teams with the suicidal mission of detonating small nuclear weapons at very close range, according to authoritative military sources.The so-called "Green Light" Army demolition squads were supposed to deliver, arm and then "watch the device until it went off" to assure that enemy forces did not interfere with the explosion, said a former Special Forces member trained in the mission."If that meant staying inside the hydroelectric plant, standing 20 feet away from the warhead, that's where you stayed," he said.

The Social Security Disability Insurance system is supposed to provide a financial safety net for workers and their families in the event that a serious medical impairment prevents them from working ("Judges sue Social Security over 'quotas' on disability decisions" April 29). But it's really a parachute that often fails to open in time, sending the individual into a financial free fall with years of uncertainty over whether or not they are going to hit the ground - and it only opens for about a third of applicants.

Hewlett-Packard's Standards of Business Conduct, like most corporate ethics policies, are earnest, precise and admonitory. "We know that actions speak louder than words," company Chairman and CEO Mark Hurd wrote a couple years ago in a preface to the code. "We must make decisions and behave in ways that we can be proud of, that reflect our commitment to doing the right thing. " Only Hurd can say whether he was proud of fudging thousands of dollars in expense reports and concealing his alleged romantic relationship with contractor Jodie Fisher from the company's board and the accounts-payable department.

CONGRATULATIONS, David Coulter. Welcome to the pantheon, my friend. You have succeeded where Disney's Michael Eisner, Tyco International's Dennis Kozlowski, Computer Associates' Charles Wang and numerous other overpaid, under-accomplished executives have failed. You did such a bad job of running Bank of America and got paid so much money while you were at it that even your corporate kindred have revolted. We all suspected there was a limit to what shareholders would tolerate in the abounding transfer of wealth known as executive compensation, but we didn't know how much was too much.

DALLAS -- Mesa Inc., besieged by dissident investors demanding that the company be sold, bolstered its defenses yesterday by guaranteeing T. Boone Pickens and other top executives at least twice their annual salaries if they lose their jobs under new owners.This so-called golden parachute, approved by Mesa's board, would allow Mr. Pickens, Mesa's chairman and chief executive, to walk away with $2.2 million and provide another five officers with about $3.8 million more.Other employees who might lose their jobs also would be compensated, but less generously.

IN THE quarter-century since a few Conoco executives awarded themselves millions in exit prizes when DuPont took over their company, the "golden parachute" has evolved into a common and highly refined means of instant executive enrichment. But never let it be said that executive-pay technology has stalled. The $170 million-plus of "change in control" benefits triggered by Lyondell Chemical's buyout of Hunt-Valley based Millennium Chemicals display several cutting-edge ways for bosses to pull the ripcord.

UNITED NATIONS -- International mediator Lord Owen expressed little enthusiasm yesterday for the Clinton administration's proposal to airdrop assistance to besieged Bosnians.In an interview here, the European Community representative in the U.N. peacemaking initiative also said that the Security Council may eventually have to impose a settlement on the warring Bosnian parties despite the Clinton administration's objections.He said he welcomes President Clinton's plan to airdrop supplies in eastern Bosnia as a symbol of determination.

Here's something investors take on faith. Over the long term, stocks are always better than bonds. That's the same as saying that stocks are sure things, at any price, as long as you hold them long enough. And if that's true, why would anyone bother with bonds at all? Bond funds have done better than stocks, so far this year. They're up 1.6 percent, in a period when the Standard & Poor's 500-stock index went nowhere and the Nasdaq fell 5 percent. Bonds beat stocks in 1980-1990, when interest rates plummeted and bond prices soared.

DON'T CALL IT sweet surrender, but the impending capitulation of Six Flags Inc. to the assault of Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder does not come without rewards for the theme-park company's incumbent managers. There is, for example, the opportunity for them to talk trash about the person who single-handedly accomplished what they couldn't do for a year: get the stock over $6. Last summer, as Six Flags shares plunged toward $3.49, Chief Executive Officer Kieran E. Burke blamed the company's poor results on bad weather and a bad economy and said, "We still hope to grow the business modestly."

A Virginia man was injured and cited with trespassing after he tried to parachute off the Maryland Public Television radio tower in Crownsville. A second man was also cited for trespassing. According to the Anne Arundel County police department, Robert Scott Morgan, 25, of Fairfax, Va., sustained injuries when his parachute did not fully open before he hit the ground after jumping off the radio tower shortly before 2 a.m. Wednesday. The incident occurred in the 1600 block of Hawkins Road in Crownsville.