Older Men

WASHINGTON -- In sultry noontime heat and humidity on Aug. 13, the short black woman in the starched white uniform stood ramrod straight at a podium and thanked the small group of older black men seated on metal benches before her."You have all made it possible for me to be here before you today with the admiral's stripe," said Rear Adm. Lillian B. Fishburne, the first black woman appointed by the secretary of the Navy to flag-officer status.The pride of Fishburne, 50, was unmistakable. So was that of the older men, mostly in their mid-70s, assembled at the U.S. Navy Memorial, an uninspired and cold monument across the street from the U.S. Justice Department and the National Archives.

For years, it seemed, senior citizens centers could have hung out a "For Women Only" sign.Not anymore.From billiards to barbers, centers for seniors have launched all-out drives to lure more men by gearing more programs to them. Civil War history? Mostly men.Computer labs? Mostly men.Flavored vinegar-making courses? Half men.In a state where about 44 percent of the 55-and-over population is male, an estimated 30 percent of attendees at senior citizen center programs are men, say local officials for aging.

The Rev. Michael Manning's new business card identifies him as a priest in Hamilton Square, N.J. What he might add is that the parish he will serve as associate pastor, starting on Friday, lies an easy drive from where he once practiced medicine on Staten Island and people called him Dr. Manning.A newly ordained priest, he is, in his words, "the doctor who's been through seminary," a man who traded a physician's coat for a Roman collar.That transformation makes Manning, 46, a member of what the church calls its "Class of '97," the approximately 500 men being ordained as priests this spring across America.

I was told that cruise lines are interested in older men to serve as "gentlemen in waiting." I've just turned 65 and have a lot of time on my hands.In an effort to balance out the preponderance of women on some cruises and to provide dance partners, at least nine ship lines provide hosts, who also socialize at meals and to pitch in with some chores.Most lines recruit through Lauretta Blake, the Working Vacation, 610 Pine Grove Court, New Lenox, Ill. 60431; (815) 485-8307, fax (815) 485-7142.

Men may be justified, though incorrect, in thinking that they are invulnerable to osteoporosis.This bone-wasting disease occurs slowly and silently and has been labeled "a woman's disease" because women are far more vulnerable to it and the fractures it causes. Half of all women develop it, and one woman in two over the age of 65 suffers one or more bone fractures because of it.But men get osteoporosis, too, and 20 percent of American men will suffer at least one fracture because their bones have become too thin and weak to withstand the normal stresses of life.

A 90-year-old man sits and thinks and finds himself caught in the melancholy of memory. The last of the old gang has died, so he starts seeing faces and bygone street scenes. He can vividly describe East Baltimore in the 1930s. He hears the youthful voices of absent friends. He wants to tell someone about it.Another man, in his 80s, decides it's time to leave his house for a retirement village, and he starts selling furniture and packing necessities and valuables. He can only take so much with him, and that means discarding much of what he has accumulated in a lifetime -- books and photographs, maps and magazines, newspapers and home movies.

Be quiet. Listen to the sound of bumping poker chips coming from the other side of this double door.SESSION IN PROGRESS says the sign outside the "Top of the Oaks Room" at the North Oaks Retirement Community, where Eddie lives. Eddie Krizman, 80, had a "setback" this year, so the guys come here for their weekly poker game. Sometimes they deal for Eddie, but he wins on his own.Outside the room, the world fumes. Inside, the world plays. Cantaloupe, Pepperidge Farm cookies and Shasta root beer are an Eddie's tradition.

SAN FRANCISCO -- Howard Summers would have been a great guest on the old TV quiz show, "I've Got a Secret."Mr. Summers, a 57-year-old product development engineer who was the victim of a job reshuffle at the Silicon Valley Group, has carefully stripped his resume of anything that would reveal his age.College graduation and employment dates are gone. His cover letters don't mention that he has 35 years of experience. Instead, he says he's been working only 15 years.After attending self-esteem workshops, Mr. Summers now concentrates on positive thinking exercises as he drives to interviews.

Paris.--The youngest of the four veterans of the U.S. 509th Parachute Infantry Regiment who jumped over southern France Monday, celebrating the 50th anniversary of the wartime landings there, is 71 years old. The oldest is 80. That is pretty impressive.The French authorities would not let them jump over land because erratic summer winds and the sun-baked earth make it too dangerous.The American airborne veterans who jumped in Normandy in June were landing on rain-soaked ground, but one of them nonetheless was injured.

WHEN ARE YOU going to write something about the black men who are taking care of their kids?" asked my friend Rodney as he clutched his 2-year-old daughter. "When am I gonna see that in the paper?"He was challenging me to examine my own feelings about African-American men and their parenting skills. I have read the stories and seen the television reports about the destruction of the black family. Young black women who look as though they should be playing with dolls are pushing the strollers of their children.