Mutant Ninja

The heroes in a half shell have conquered Saturday morning, and CBS is reaping the benefits of turtle power."Thank God for the Ninja Turtles," said Jerry Dominus, the CBS senior vice president of entertainment sales.The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are already responsible for one of the top-grossing movies of 1990 and hundreds of millions of dollars in toy merchandising. Now, they have taken CBS to the brink of ratings leadership on Saturday morning, prime time for ,, children, for the first time in almost a decade.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Rating -- PG What it's about -- Crime-fighting, pizza-obsessed sewer-raised turtles listen to their teacher, a rat, and make the world a better place. The kid attractor factor -- Skateboards, swordfights, magic and monsters. Good lessons/bad lessons -- "Let anger consume you, and pretty soon, you lose sight of everything else." Violence -- Plentiful, in animated form. Language -- Very clean. Sex -- There's one relationship that might go somewhere, not involving a turtle.

Lancaster, Pa. -- If this were a movie, they'd call it "The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Meet the Pennsylvania Dutch." Or, in this case, the Dutchess.And the diabolical villain would not be such usual turtle foes as the evil Shredder or the devious Krang, but that crusader from the land of funnel cake, that paladin of piety, the indomitable Joan Hake Robie.Where the turtles' old nemeses have failed, where the denizens of the dark have been defeated, this grandmother from Amish country hopes to prevail.

If 6-year-olds had a shrine, it might very well look like Jim Durham's car.The white Isuzu Trooper creates a kiddie mob scene wherever it goes, with nearly 500 plastic Teen-Age Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures glued all over it. The creatures stand on the hood, dangle from the undercarriage, cling to the windshield wipers, hang off the roof, perch on the side mirrors, smack against the gas tank and stick to the windows.It's a four-wheel-drive fantasy for passengers who can't reach the pedals -- and proof that sometimes parents have a hard time saying no. Or at least the parents of Eric Durham do.The story goes like this.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Rating -- PG What it's about -- Crime-fighting, pizza-obsessed sewer-raised turtles listen to their teacher, a rat, and make the world a better place. The kid attractor factor -- Skateboards, swordfights, magic and monsters. Good lessons/bad lessons -- "Let anger consume you, and pretty soon, you lose sight of everything else." Violence -- Plentiful, in animated form. Language -- Very clean. Sex -- There's one relationship that might go somewhere, not involving a turtle.

"Hey, dudes, they're here!"That's what the 600 boys and girls who recently saw a preview of the movie "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of Ooze" are saying to their envious friends.Although the 88-minute motion picture starring the agile, pizza-loving turtles opens Friday in area theaters, last week's single screening at Loew's Yorkridge Cinema was held for the benefit of the Grant-A-Wish Foundation and the Children's House at Johns Hopkins Hospital, which the foundation is building.

HOLLYWOOD -- Barbara Walters has drawn lots of celebrities out of their shells, so the thought of the ABC newswoman interviewing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for a short spot on her annual Academy Awards evening special is, in a word, awesome.Walters gets up close and personal with teen-age terrapins Raphael, Leonardo, Michaelangelo and Donatello on the set of their sequel, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze."New Line Cinema will distribute the Golden Harvest production March 22 in 2,500 theaters.

PHILADELPHIA -- If you're looking for a basic, no-frills air freshener for your car, they're easy enough to find.But if you truly must have the official Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles car air freshener, then you have to come to Mark Simon.Mr. Simon is president of Marlenn Corp., a Baltimore manufacturer with the exclusive license to manufacture Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles car air fresheners, one of 600 licensed products cashing in on the Turtles craze to sell everything from pudding pies to boxer shorts.

Assailants wearing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle masks stabbed two people in separate incidents, a couple were shot and wounded by a masked man, and at least one case of tampering with Halloween treats has been reported, city police say.Authorities in the surrounding metropolitan counties reported no Halloween-related crime incidents.A homeless man was attacked and stabbed by several youths dressed for Halloween as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Freddie Krueger, the villain from the "Nightmare on Elm Street" ,, movie series, Central District police reported.

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze" grossed $20 million in its debut weekend, ending the five-week reign of "Silence of the Lambs" as the leader at the nation's box office."

MY KIDS don't watch "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" anymore. When it was on TV at 7:30 in the morning, they would tune in during breakfast maybe a couple times a week, when they weren't watching "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." Now the "Power Rangers" show comes on at 4:30 p.m., when they are in day care. So, except when they occasionally watch one of the five Power Rangers videos we own, the five karate-kicking teens are out of their lives. But Matty, who is 7, and Nicky, who is 4, had already lost interest in the show.

Saturday morning. The kids tiptoe into the living room and quietly click on the television, settling in for a couple hours of parent-free viewing, watching a steady diet of . . . news and public affairs shows?Well, at least they could be doing that, for a surprising new picture can be found this fall in the Saturday morning viewing hours.Plenty of cartoon shows remain in the period programmers once called kids' prime time. The Tasmanian Devil still romps on Fox stations, Winnie the Pooh prowls on ABC and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles crack wise on CBS.But the growth of cable TV, increased VCR use and busier weekend lives have combined to change a generations-old programming pattern.

PHILADELPHIA -- If you're looking for a basic, no-frills air freshener for your car, they're easy enough to find.But if you truly must have the official Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles car air freshener, then you have to come to Mark Simon.Mr. Simon is president of Marlenn Corp., a Baltimore manufacturer with the exclusive license to manufacture Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles car air fresheners, one of 600 licensed products cashing in on the Turtles craze to sell everything from pudding pies to boxer shorts.

PHILADELPHIA -- If you're looking for a basic, no-frills air freshener for your car, they're easy enough to find.But if you truly must have the official Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles car air freshener, then you have to come to Mark Simon.Mr. Simon is president of Marlenn Corp., a Baltimore manufacturer with the exclusive license to manufacture Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles car air fresheners, one of 600 licensed products cashing in on the Turtles craze to sell everything from pudding pies to boxer shorts.

Lancaster, Pa. -- If this were a movie, they'd call it "The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Meet the Pennsylvania Dutch." Or, in this case, the Dutchess.And the diabolical villain would not be such usual turtle foes as the evil Shredder or the devious Krang, but that crusader from the land of funnel cake, that paladin of piety, the indomitable Joan Hake Robie.Where the turtles' old nemeses have failed, where the denizens of the dark have been defeated, this grandmother from Amish country hopes to prevail.

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze" grossed $20 million in its debut weekend, ending the five-week reign of "Silence of the Lambs" as the leader at the nation's box office."

Halloween turned violent last night for two Baltimore men who were stabbed by costumed attackers in separate incidents.Baltimore police said a group of teen-agers dressed in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and Freddy Krueger masks stabbed a 31-year-old homeless man three times in McKeldin Square, directly west of Harborplace at Pratt and Light streets.Police spokesman Dennis S. Hill said Denny Alferness was sitting on a bench in McKeldin Square when he was approached by five teen-agers who asked him if he wanted to fight.

If you're 4 or 5 or 6 years old, it's a cinch you'll be crazy about those four weird-looking dudes dancing and singing (sort of) and strutting their stuff at the Baltimore Arena this week.If you're the parent of a young one, chances are you'll get a kick out of the pleasure your child takes in America's newest folk heroes, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and you might even sit back and enjoy some of their tunes.And if you fit into neither of these categories -- well, then, you probably have very little interest in the "Coming Out of Their Shells" tour, and it doesn't really matter that, to the non-initiate to the Turtle world, this show is basically lame, derivative and exceedingly predictable.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES II: THE SECRET OF 0) THE OOZEOriginal Soundtrack (SBK 96204)Vanilla Ice may have an on-screen role in the movie itself, but when it comes to the soundtrack for "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze," he's strictly a bit player. Not that his "Ninja Rap" is an especially shoddy piece of work; it's actually pretty catchy, even if its "Go ninja, go ninja, go!" chorus sounds awfully similar to an M. C. Hammer routine. But the truth is, Ice is frozen out by the album's other contributors, particularly Cathy Dennis and David Morales' searing "Find the Key to Your Life," Spunkadelic's feisty "Creatures of Habit" and Dan Hartman's soulful "(That's Your)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II:The Secret of the Ooze'Starring David Warner and Ernie Reyes Jr.Directed by Michael Pressman.Released by New Line.Rated PG.** You can't get there from here.That is, you can't get into turtle culture from the planet adulthood.Or at least I couldn't. I sat through "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze" as would a Martian at a bar mitzvah. It was all so . . . strange.It was in no language I had ever heard. It played with entire themes that are meaningless to me. It took place in a zone whose existence I had not even suspected.