Mother S Day

Today is Mother's Day, and millions of kids across the country will spend time celebrating that irreplaceable figure in their lives. Many of these mothers, despite surmounting challenges, manage to support and serve as the backbone of their families. Today, one in four American children are being raised by a single parent. Forty years ago, that figure was one in ten. While some of these households are led by fathers, the lion's share is, and has been, mothers. These women are an essential link to the health and prosperity of the next generation.

Twenty-two parents owing nearly $328,000 in back child support were arrested late last week during the fifth annual raid by the Baltimore City Sheriff's Office, officials said. The child support sweep is typically held the week before Mother's Day. This year, 17 deputy sheriffs took part in the two-day raid that started at 4:00 a.m. on Thursday and Friday. While most of the offenders were men, five women were taken into custody, the highest number since the sweeps began, Captain Sam Cogen said Sunday.

This Mother's Day, I'd like to reflect on one of my most spectacular maternal flops, executed just last weekend, on the occasion of my 8-year-old daughter's near-First Communion. Anna woke up and told me her throat was sore. That's just pollen, I assured her. Later, she said she felt like she was going to throw up. Nerves, I said. She was scheduled to do a reading at the service. I got her into the lovely white eyelet dress and veil my mom had sewn and sent her downstairs, where oohing and aahing from an aunt and two sets of grandparents seemed to cure all that ailed her. At the church, she filed in just fine with all the other children.

If you are a procrastinator like I am, and are lucky enough to live in close proximity to the maternal units you plan to celebrate on Sunday, then consider gifts of native plants instead of cut flowers or arrangements. Cylburn Arboretum will hold its annual Market Sale tonight and Saturday, with vendors selling wildflowers and native plants that should be adapted to the native climate --- meaning they won't require green thumbs or excess care to make them thrive. You might find it more convenient to hit Blue Water Baltimore's nursery sale on Sunday.

If the gruff and grumpy William Donald Schaefer, buried last week, was tender-hearted about anything, it would have been his mother and flowers. The Baltimore mayor and the Maryland governor lived almost his entire life on Edgewood Street with his mother, where he grew up watching her care for her garden and for her African violets. He continued to live there after her death in 1983, rising early on Saturday mornings to weed the gardens she left behind, and he planted new roses in an effort to encourage his neighbors to fix up their gardens, too. In 1984, Mayor Schaefer, in his usual "do it now" fashion, rounded up the people he needed to refurbish the Mothers' Garden in a corner of Clifton Park, and on Mother's Day he dedicated it to the memory of Tululu Irene Schaefer and "all devoted mothers of Baltimore.

It was Mother's Day, and the staff of the independent-living community where my mother resides had arranged a nice luncheon, with roses for all the mothers. When a cherubic child with golden ringlets pressed a flower into my hand, and I politely refused it, she became confused. No wonder, since it was assumed by everyone that, of course, all adult women in attendance were mothers At fifty-something I am an adult but not a mother. And though some will gasp in horror, I consider that to be my greatest achievement as a conservationist (although finding the first saw-whet owl ever reported in my part of Virginia ranks pretty high, too)

Sheila Tates is clipping coupons for the first time in her life. The Baltimore resident, a mother and grandmother, also is endeavoring to save money by canceling her home phone and premium cable television channels. But recession or no, she says, Mother's Day is no occasion to skimp. So she and 18 family members, representing four generations, spent about $75 apiece to board a Spirit Cruises ship at the Inner Harbor for a two-hour sail that featured a buffet and dancing. "As a family, we're not in a recession; we're in reverse and have been cutting back every day," Tates said.

My siblings and I think our mother is an all-around joyful role model in the Mom department. Because we grew up under her tutelage, we don't seem to mind if she rearranges our cabinets, tells us we ought to give our front doors a fresh coat of paint, or remarks that it's high time we replaced our frayed bath towels when she visits. We welcome the wealth of time-tested tips she provides on child-rearing, home organization and budgeting. Well, um, most of the time. But, my point is, it sure is funny how the very same suggestions coming from a mother-in-law tend to rattle us. When, in fact, it's all about nurturing.

I was going to visit my mother on Sunday and bring her a jonquil and a ballpoint pen for Mother's Day, but that's all off thanks to my brother, who is awaiting trial for mail fraud. His lawyers have asked me not to discuss his case, and so I won't, except to say that he's guilty, the little stinker, and richly deserves what's coming to him, but of course you can't tell Mother that. She turns 94 this week and still lives in her own home, drives her own car and only recently gave up playing senior women's hockey.

Soon after he turned 18, Charles Yi Barnett told his mother he wanted to join the Army. "I said 'No, you're not going anywhere,' " said his mother, Ipun "Yvonne" Dashiell. She forced one military recruiter to leave her home, but the teenager was determined to enlist. He left for basic training almost exactly a year ago, and in May he was sent to Iraq. Late Thursday, military officials went to his mother and stepfather's Bel Air home with grim news: The 19-year-old had died that day of injuries he received in Tallil in a noncombat incident.