Monsters

Picture this: Billy Crystal as the leprechaunish Cyclops, Mike, in Monsters, Inc. pitches the woo to a taller, serpentine Cyclops named Celia (Jennifer Tilly), who boasts a Medusa's head of snake-hair. Suddenly he notices a pile of stone statues. As the snakes on Celia's head snap, he asks her what the statues are. Without missing a beat or thinking it will make him nervous, Celia answers, "My old boyfriends." It's a hilarious throwaway. But you'll have to picture it in your imagination, because you'll never see it on the screen.

After Toy Story and Toy Story 2, the computer-animation wizards at Pixar have come up with a story that is a toy - a whirligig called Monsters, Inc. Like those big old push-down tops that emanate sparks as they careen around the floor, this movie has more overt oomph than the buddy-movie parodies of the Toy Story films or the neo-Aesop fable of A Bug's Life. It's a different, not a lesser, cartoon feature, with its own sporty brand of humor and legerdemain. The opening credits have a late-'50s Saul Bass-y bounce (think North by Northwest)

Here's how it works now: Contestants have survived the Blind Auditions and weeks of Battle Rounds, just to make it to this moment - the Knockouts. The rules are no steals, no saves, choose your own song, choose the right song and compete against your own teammate in the sudden death round, which leaves each coach with four contestants who will move on to the live playoffs. Sounds simple, right? Did I mention the part about performing the song in front of the audience and your teammate?

I FINALLY SAW the new Lord of the Rings movie, which is entitled Lord of the Rings II: A LOT More Stuff Happens. It's a tad on the long side (three days), but I am not complaining. My eyeballs were literally riveted to the screen, by literal rivets, from the moment I sat down until the moment I lost all sensation in my lower body. Yes, this is a classic movie, the kind that makes you laugh; makes you cry; makes you wonder, over and over, if this would be a good time to go to the bathroom.

We have lost Pol Pot, but every generation produces its very own monsters.BankAmerica will merge with NationsBank as the only way to get out of San Francisco and relocate in Charlotte.Yankee Stadium's falling down, falling down, falling down;/Yankee Stadium's falling down, buy a new one.C5And next year, get the taxes done on time, hear?Pub Date: 4/17/98

NOW OR NEVER You might not see Depeche Mode in concert any time too soon, but you can get a view of singer Dave Gahan's performance in Paris -- complete with stadium seating and surround sound -- when his solo DVD is shown Monday night at UA Snowden Square 14 movie theater in Columbia. Live Monsters was filmed at the Olympia during The Paper Monsters tour, which featured Gahan singing with a dynamic (albeit non-Depeche) band. The DVD goes on sale Tuesday. Live Monsters screens at UA Snowden Square 14 (9161 Commerce Center Drive)

Pokemons may look like cute, cuddly little monsters, but they can whup even Godzilla when it comes to sales. Since storming the U.S. toy industry last fall, all things Pokemon (pronounced poke-ee-mahn), the latest toy craze from Japan, have been emptying the wallets of pre-adolescent boys and girls (and their parents) nationwide.Here's how big it is:* Nintendo has sold 1.7 million of the Pokemon hand-held Gameboy video games (more than $45 million worth), making it the company's biggest seller ever.

HOLLYWOOD -- Universal Pictures is opening its horror vaults to resurrect some venerable movie monsters.Currently in development there: "Clive Barker's 'The Mummy,' " from the horror novelist who wrote and directed "Hellraiser." And director John Carpenter, who remade RKO's "The Thing" for Universal in 1982, has gone fishing for "The Creature From the Black Lagoon."Universal "used to make a lot of monster movies, and they'd love to do them again if they can find people to do them," Carpenter says.

" 'The Switching Hour' by Joanne Barkan is my favorite book because it has monsters from Halloween and the monsters scare the kids. The character embarrasses himself, the monster embarrasses himself by telling that he lives in a dump."-- Daniel SaundersLeith Walk Elementary"Do you like mind-quizzing mysteries that take place on top of a mountain? If so, read 'The Mountain Top Mystery' by Gertrude Chandler Warner. I read it because I was reading a collection called 'The Boxcar Children.' 'The Mountain Top Mystery' is the ninth one. It's about two Native Americans, ancient pottery and a family."

Kaiju Big Battel: A Practical Guide to Giant City-Crushing Monsters, by Jonathan Aurelio, David Borden, Rand Borden, Camille Dodero, Robert Ford. Hyperion. 163 pages. $14.95. Kaiju Big Battel is an epic conflict of good versus evil," declares the introduction to this volume. "Scattered throughout the galaxy is a monstrous mob of Kaiju -- maniacal villains, ominous alien beasts, and gigantic, city-crushing monsters who threaten Earth. Thankfully, the Kaiju Heroes are there to protect the good people of Earth from evil Kaiju rule.