Merlin

House Republicans want to be seen voting for impeachment that fails, but don't know how to manage that.The more workers laid off, the less unemployment, and the more economists needed to explain how come.Q. What do Western Merlin and East Bawlmer have in common? A. Imprisoning Merliners is the leading industry.Schmoke for Lt. Gov.! (You heard it here first.)Pub Date: 12/09/98

Yes, Hillary Clinton is ineligible to run for mayor of Ballmer, but a bill before the legislature would rectify that.The best team in baseball will merge with the worst in basketball. That's the cable game for you.The Alps have too much snow and Merlin has too much Pfiesteria. Swap?Pop quiz for the over-30 set: Who is Lauryn Hill and what did she do?Pub Date: 2/26/99

If all the megabanks in the country merged into one, how could anyone tell?Peace between Irish Catholics and Protestants should mean anyone can make peace. Not so, alas.Bill is escaping again to the Summit of the Americas in Santiago, Chile, as far he could get and still be in the Americas.Merlin legislators finally agreed it is politically safe to take on Big Tobacco. There's courage for you.Pub Date: 4/15/98

Bill is going over Congress' head, to the Merlin legislature.Judge Bollinger erased a conviction to help a pawnbroker who beat his wife for rusting his gun collection qualify for a country club reputed to exclude criminals, so stop calling Judge B. insensitive!Swiss banks agree to a $70 million conscience fund if they get to keep the $7 billion.All Wall Street is merging into one firm, which will move to Greenwich, Connecticut.Pub Date: 2/10/97

A bill in Annapolis would make English the official language o the state, replacing Merlin.Fess up, everyone. Show your tax return for 1977. Go see if you can find it.Mexico's constitution makes all logical candidates for president ineligible. They'll have to go for someone unqualified, the way we do.Congress wants to pay people not to work for the federal government. Unfortunately, only those who do may apply.

If the Iowa caucus winner sees his shadow, there will be sixmore weeks of negative ad blizzard.Whitewater better defeat President Bill, because none of these Republicans will.When municipal workers and office holders are compelled to sell their slum rental properties, the fall of real-estate prices will devastate the tax base.Here's a switch: The NFL is invading and many Merlin politicians are trying to evict it.

Congratulations, Robert Booker, the right man for the right job! Start showing results, you bum, or you're out of here.B. J. Habibie promises reform. He knows what to say, if not what to do.Dick Bennett investigated foreign political money wherever it led, hardly what House Republican leaders had in mind.The way to save racing in Merlin is to outlaw betting on it. Then more people would.Pub Date: 5/27/98

NSA is laying off techies as it gears up for more snooping during the emergency. And they call that intelligence. Quick! Get the pension plan out of stocks before the market goes back up! Be patriotic. Pay through the nose to watch the Champ from Harford clean that English fellow's clock tomorrow night. Six thousand teachers of English have convened in Bawlmer Merlin to hear models of elocution.

On October 26, 2003; HILDA (nee Heck), of Gambrills, MD, beloved wife of the late Donald Crane; loving mother of Arlyce L. Lohr and DelRoy Crane; dear sister of Merlin Heck and Lucille Seyl. Also survived by five grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. Friends may call on Wednesday from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 PM at the Hardesty Funeral Home, P.A., 851 Annapolis Road, Gambrills, MD where Funeral Services will be held on Thursday at 10 AM. Interment Glen Haven Cemetery. Contributions are suggested to the Hospice of the Chesapeake, 8424 Veterans Highway, Millersville, MD 21108.

On December 15, 2004, CYNTHIA ANNE CLOUGH (nee Duckworth); beloved wife of Merlin Clough; devoted mother of Angela Polanowski; dear grandmother of Shaun Clough and Destiny Polanowski; loving daughter of Robert Duckworth. Also survived by four sisters and three brothers. Friends may call at the family owned Bruzdzinski Funeral Home, P.A., 1407 Old Eastern Ave., Essex at Rt. 702 (beltway exit 36) on Sunday, from 3 to 5 and 7 to 9 PM. Funeral Services on Monday, at 11 AM. Private Cremation to follow.