Mall Of America

We set out with a sense of foreboding. If you ever feel a boding, and later on something bad happens, that was a foreboding. We were traveling from Miami to Minnesota, a state located near, or possibly inside, Canada. The reason we felt a boding was that we were carrying a live baby, and we had stupidly elected to travel by airplane. I think that, instead of making such a big deal about weapons, the airlines ought to start cracking down on babies. Ask the average airline passenger: "Would you rather sit near a gun, or a baby?"

Bloomington, Minn. -- The Mall of America takes nationhood seriously. The sections of its parking garages are denominated by states -- we parked in Maine, Aisle D, Pier 11, near the red lobster logo -- and the self-propelled scooters that the infirm may rent to traverse the vast interior distances bear state names on plates. I nearly collided with Kentucky.The Mall does not yet appear to have its own flag.The stop was inevitable. Both the children, Alice and John Paul, seasoned Nickelodeon viewers at the age of 9, had got wind over the electronic grapevine of its existence.

Is bigger better?The developers of Mall of America hope so.Now under construction in Bloomington, Minn., a suburb of the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, the megamall is not only big, it will be the biggest shopping center in the nation when it opens this summer.This Paul Bunyan of shopping centers is a giant in every way. Being built on the 78-acre site of the former Metropolitan Stadium, where the baseball Twins and National Football League Vikings played before the Metrodome was built, it has a floor area of 4.2 million square feet, about the same as in the Sears Tower in Chicago.

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. -- There was the boy who aimed a gun in a food court. Then there was the kid who was nearly tossed from a fourth-floor walkway. All that came amid the usual tumult, the fighting and cursing and spitting that are the weekend routine as teen-agers congregate at the Mall of America.Tonight, the country's biggest shopping center will try to break the Friday- and Saturday-night siege of loud, rude, sometimes intimidating throngs of teen-agers. Starting at 6 p.m., children under 16 won't be allowed into the mall unless they're accompanied by someone 21 or older.

IF THERE'S anything we know to be true in life, it is that teen-agers scare adults.There are a couple of theories on this. One is that most adults were once teen-agers and have forgotten what it was like.The second is that most adults were once teen-agers and remember what it was like.Anyway, I'm at the mall -- Towson Town Center -- on a Friday night to see teen-agers. I've come because the Mall of America -- the largest mall in the world, the Disney World of malls, a mall so large that it embraces an amusement park with an actual roller coaster -- has banned kids under the age of 16 on Friday and Saturday nights unless accompanied by an adult.

Minneapolis -- I went to the Mecca of America near Minneapolis. It's called the Mall of America. It has two freeway entrances all its own. It's the size of my hometown in Romania. It's self-sufficient.Not only is it self-sufficient; it has everything. Clothes for the body. Shoes for the mind. Food for the hungry. A hotel for the sleepy. Action for children. Heat for the old. Roller-blading routes for the limber. Jogging space for the trim. It has a huge Lego ball that rotates while you eat. There are Lego dinosaurs and a plunging canoe for you and your date.

In a major step toward bringing the nation's largest retail and entertainment complex to Silver Spring, Montgomery County officials yesterday agreed to join forces with a Canadian real estate firm to develop the $585 million project.The agreement to proceed with the so-called American Dream represents the latest in a decade-long effort to revitalize a 28-acre tract in Silver Spring's derelict urban core, roughly equivalent in size to downtown's Charles Center.Montgomery County Executive Douglas M. Duncan, in announcing the agreement with Triple Five Development Eastern Ltd., compared the project to Harborplace, the Rouse Co.'s festival marketplace that revitalized the Inner Harbor 16 years ago."

Bloomington, Minn.-- Girls' Night Out.Pack the skimpy black halter, the video camera, the annual hand-me- down gag birthday gift (size 16 girdle and 40D bra with tassels). Kiss hubby goodbye. Check in at the Hilton. Sip cocktails at the bar. Then head for the mall.Go past the indoor roller coaster, the 35-foot-tall inflatable Snoopy, the Lego Easter Bunny. Do not stop at the old Metropolitan Stadium home plate (preserved in platinum). Head straight for Gatlin Brothers Music City and a photo session with the Nashville kitten, Miss Tanya Tucker.

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. -- Eighty of the 133 people aboard the 8 a.m. flight from Grand Rapids, Mich., and thousands more passengers from Milwaukee and Omaha and Cleveland and elsewhere, landed at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport with a single purpose in life.They did not have the expectant, searching eyes of a traveler meeting a loved one. They did not look up for the signs for baggage claim. They were not wearing coats; they would not be needing them, even in December in Minnesota.

Shoppers won't be the only ones shelling out big bucks this holiday season.Area malls are spending tens of thousands of dollars on decorations and special events to put their customers in the Christmas buying spirit during what is far and away the biggest retailing time of the year.In addition to having the omnipresent Santa Claus, malls are offering elaborate, often-themed displays; live musical and theatrical entertainment and local and national radio and television personalities to induce regular customers to spend more money and to lure new ones away from competing malls.