Jane Seymour

How boring is broadcast TV tonight? So boring that the only thing worth listing, much less watching, is the premiere of Fox's preseason NFL coverage. Cable, though, is well-stocked with alternatives.* "NFL Football" (8 p.m.-conclusion, WBFF, Channel 45) -- John Madden and Pat Summerall are used to working together on the road, but beginning tonight they're heading in a new direction on an uncharted highway. This exhibition game between the Denver Broncos and the San Francisco 49ers may not be very important -- but as an exhibition of how Fox covers football, it's the most intriguing TV offering of the evening.

Saturday night fixture "Empty Nest" says so long forever (not counting the reruns that we'll see for a good long time), with a satisfying two-part finale. "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" dabbles history, and a Disney hit film of the '70s gets a new treatment.* "Empty Nest" (8 p.m.-9 p.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- After seven seasons, the series ends its run with a double episode that includes the return of Kristy McNichol, who did four seasons as the daughter of Dr. Weston (Richard Mulligan). A double wedding is in the offing, for both Carol (Dinah Manoff)

The second jewel in the Triple Crown takes over a whole television station today. And tonight, "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman," gets herself hitched.* "Preakness Day" (9 a.m.-6 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- The celebrated horse race itself, from Pimlico Race Course, is not scheduled until around 5:30 p.m., on "ABC's Wide World of Sports" (beginning at 4:30 p.m.). But through the day, Channel 2 offers its own features, interviews and even live coverage of earlier races.* "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" (8 p.m.-10 p.m., WJZ, Channel 13)

"Saturday Night Live" rolls out its biggest gun of the year to close out the season tonight."The Bottom Line" (11 a.m.-noon, WBAL, Channel 11) -- Jodie Ulrich, the teen-ager expelled from Baltimore County's RTC Chesapeake High School for possession of pepper spray, is the guest of substitute host Ron Shapiro."Television's Greatest Performances II" (8 p.m.-9 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- Who decides these, anyway? The "classics" include the final episode of "M*A*S*H" (in a Reader's Digest version, one supposes, since the original was a two-hour movie)

It's the day after Memorial Day, so you'd think the networks would be getting back to business as usual. In one sense, that's true. Except that for a while, business as usual -- when applied to the post-May sweeps period -- means almost no business at all. The one must-see offering tonight is a documentary on the Disney Channel, the latest and best TV special tied to the invasion of Normandy and afterward.* "Break the Silence: Kids Against Child Abuse" (8 p.m.-8:30 p.m., WBAL, Channel 11)

Did you know 40 million people in the United States can claim ancestry from the land of Erin? A lush, new PBS documentary tracing the Irish immigration experience reaches television tonight, after winning awards at numerous film festivals.* "Party for the Planet" (8 p.m.-9 p.m., WJZ, Channel 13) -- Jane Seymour, Chris Evert, Paula Poundstone, David Hasselhof, Jonathan Brandis and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are among the guests on a special from Sea World and Busch Gardens in Florida that celebrates what youngsters are doing to save the environment.

ON AND OFF THE AIR:* WMAR-Channel 2 reporter Andy Barth may not know what he's letting himself in for with a whimsical half-hour news special this weekend.For at the end of "How Do They Do That?" (at 5:30 p.m. tomorrow), Barth asks viewers to write in their own burning questions about "the mysteries of life . . . [but] not the big mysteries, just the nagging questions."For instance, he says, while watching the Steven Spielberg movie "E.T." he wasn't wondering how the lovable alien would get home, but how the Reese's Pieces candy prominently featured got that colorful, seamless coating.

Answers to the trivia quiz on Page 1D:1). Not Abner Doubleday, although he adapted it from other games and is recognized as the "traditional" inventor. No one really invented baseball. However, one source claims Doubleday was the first Union soldier to fire from Fort Sumter.2). Not because the Colts left town 25 years later. Careful "Dinerwatchers pick up on two clues: The happy couple marries Dec. 31, 1959, and plans to honeymoon in Cuba. On Jan. 1, 1959, Cuba's president officially resigned and Fidel Castro took over.

If you're smart, you'll save your TV-viewing muscles for tomorrow, when a handful of cable stations say good-bye to 1995 with marathons that should leave picture tubes throughout the country gasping for air. The Sci-Fi channel, for instance, will air 48 consecutive episodes of "The Twilight Zone" beginning at 7 p.m., while TNT will send residents of Tokyo running for cover with five straight Godzilla movies beginning at 11 a.m., and the Discovery Channel will...

Some adventure stories are irresistible to dramatists, "The Scarlet Pimpernel" among them. The books, written at the turn of the century by Baroness Orczy, have been made into several films, a musical and a 1982 TV movie.The peppy new version on A&E, a series of three movies that begins at 9 p.m. tomorrow (dates for the second and third are to be announced), is an entertaining entry in the Pimpernel sweepstakes, if not the best. And like all the movies, it improves on the Hungarian baroness' melodramatic style.