I Heard

PAY ATTENTION, because today I'm going to pass along a foolproof method for getting unbelievably rich.I heard about it from a guy who sat next to me on an airplane. Usually, the people I wind up next to on planes do not give out useful information; they give out either bodily aromas or weird noises. For example, several months ago I flew across country next to a man who, every 15 seconds for the entire flight, emitted, from somewhere deep in his nasal passages, a sound that, if you had to spell it out, would be along the lines of "SNAWNK!"

Five of Officer Edward T. Gorwell's Western District colleagues said yesterday he never mentioned that he had been fired on when they arrived at a park where he shot a 14-year-old suspected car thief.Testifying as prosecution witnesses during Officer Gorwell's manslaughter trial in Baltimore Circuit Court, all five officers said they arrived at the shooting scene and found him standing next to a stolen car, pointing out where the carload of suspects had fled.But, in testimony designed to discredit Officer Gorwell's contention that he believed he was returning fire, the officers said he did not say the suspects had shot at him."

WASHINGTON -- The Bush administration moved yesterday to control the damage from a milestone presidential trip to Asia that produced few significant economic gains while turning into a painful demonstration of the United States' competitive woes and Japan's new willingness to defy U.S. demands.Landing at Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland after the 12-day trip, President Bush conceded that he "might have achieved more" on what he had cast as a mission to help the recession-plagued U.S. economy, but he asserted that it will produce dividends later in the form of increased jobs and business opportunities for Americans.

300-yard passerPlayer, Team ...... C-A .... Yds. ... TDMitchell, Det. ... 31-50 ... 343 ..... 3100-yard rushersPlayer, Team ...... No. .... Yds. ... TDZellars, N.O. ..... 20 .... 174 ..... 1Martin, N.E. ...... 17 ..... 164 ..... 2R.Smith, Min. ..... 18 ..... 133 ..... 1Johnson, Car. ..... 22 ..... 126 ..... 0E.Smith, Dal. ..... 21 ..... 112 ..... 2Watters, Phi. ..... 27 ..... 110 ..... 0George, Hou. ...... 23 ..... 109 ..... 0Bettis, Pit. ...... 28 ..... 109 ..... 0100-yard receiversPlayer, Team .....

WASHINGTON -- Judy Silas, a middle school principal in Jacksonville, Fla., listened Monday night as President Clinton argued his case for sending U.S. troops to Bosnia. But she heard something else. Something familiar. Something she said she heard three decades ago when her brother -- and some of the high school seniors she taught -- were sent off to war."I heard Clinton use the same arguments I heard when we were going into Vietnam," says Ms. Silas, who opposes the involvement of U.S. ground troops in the Bosnian peace effort.

No sooner had a 17-year-old Columbia teen-ager accused basketball star David Wingate of rape last fall than people lashed out at the victim."Man, she's lying," said a guy I play basketball with.My mouth dropped open."Why would she lie about a thing like that?""It's a setup," he said. "These women, they see a chance to make some easy money off of a superstar, and right away they drag him into court.""But . . .""You wait," he said angrily, "watch her settle out of court for some big bucks."The alleged attack occurred last September.

WASHINGTON -- Your 6-year-old son has been playing quietly with Power Rangers and his other beloved action figures on the recreation-room carpet.Suddenly his face, a little peachy-cheeked replica of your own, looks up at you curiously.Then he slowly asks you a question that just sucks the breath right out of you.''Dad,'' he says, ''is Grandpa going to die?''A chain of questions races through your head: What does he know? How much has he heard? What should I say?So you answer his question with a question: ''Wh-Why do you ask?

Bad love has been very good to Reba McEntire.Blessed with a voice that moves easily from a wounded-heart quaver to full he-done-me-wrong fury, she's a natural for songs about mismatched lovers, cheating spouses and unrequited passion. As a result, her albums boast more bad relationships than the average soap opera.But even by McEntire's usual standards of love-gone-sour, the songs on "Read My Mind" (MCA 10994, arriving in stores today) (( seem a tad extreme. Every song here, from the sassy "Why Haven't I Heard From You" to the maudlin "And Still," is built around a broken heart -- and while that may leave some listeners reaching for their hankies, it left me lunging for the eject button.

The Homeless Man stood at an intersection just outside the city's beautiful new baseball stadium and only a few blocks away from the glittering, glitzy Inner Harbor. He carried a cardboard sign with the words "Homeless. Will work for food." scrawled upon it in crayon. Occasionally, the Homeless Man stamped his feet against a bitter, biting wind. He wore an expression of grim determination. He didn't smile."People like that don't really want to work," said the first spectator, nodding toward the Homeless Man. "I have a friend who once offered one of them a job. Man, you'd have thought he had handed down some sort of terrible insult."

HEY, DO YOU EVER get to feeling nostalgia for the good old days?" Slats Grobnik asked. "You know, when times were more simple and we didn't have to worry so much?"