Happy Helpers

"YOUR BOSS was at the school today," my son said.My boss? I'm the Mom. I don't have a boss. I am the boss."The editor from The Sun," he said impatiently. "She talked to the school newspaper staff. You know -- deadlines, breaking stories, exposes. Newspaper stuff like you do."More proof no one in my family has a clue what I write about. It's been years since my last expose, "Craft Fairs: The Last American Sweatshop?"While I am confident my boss offered sound advice -- after all, she is a very good speller -- I wonder if she prepared the young journalists for the cruel reality of community news.

WHAT'S WRONG with her?" my sister asked my oldest son as she nodded in my direction. "She's all sweaty.""I don't know. She got something in the mail and suddenly it's like she's auditioning for a guest spot on a Richard Simmons infomercial," he shrugged.Ignoring them, I continued my new exercise regimen, confident I had found the motivation that had eluded me on many occasions."So what came in the mail? Reunion notice? Wedding invitation? Ooh, ooh, I know! Driver's license photo renewal!" she cried as she clapped her hands with glee.

Anne Arundel County officials say they expect to know in mid-January how much additional money they'll be giving the Harundale Youth and Family Service Center."

Victims' Fund Run scheduled Saturday The state's attorney's office and Take Back Our Streets will co-sponsor the Victims' Fund Run on Saturday at 8 a.m. starting at the Park Plaza Shopping Center in Severna Park. The 5K race and 2-mile walk along the B&A Trail will raise money to provide immediate help to crime victims in Anne Arundel County. Volunteers are needed to help on the day of the event, starting with registration at 7 a.m., handing out T-shirts, assisting with drawings and the post-race party.

"NOW BEFORE YOU get all upset, I can explain," he said, entering the room, report card in hand. "I've talked to some other kids and we're pretty sure there was a mistake in the computer."So much for the "good student" discount on our car insurance, I thought grimly.He shook his head, trying just a little too hard for the "earnest and sincere" look."I was shocked," he continued. "Here I was thinking I'm doing B work. OK, it was a low B or maybe even a high C but at the very worst a low C. Then I open my report card and . . ."

John Paul DeJoria, Bobbi Coffman was in a grocery checkout line last week when confetti and balloons suddenly fell around her, and the cashier announced that she was the store's millionth customer. Her prize was a free shopping spree. But Coffman, a 47-year-old single mother from Glen Burnie, refused to get any items for herself. Instead, she loaded her cart with bread, lunchmeat and other groceries for her charity to feed the homeless. What Coffman did not know was that the whole thing was staged.

THERE MAY not be any spectacular 300-yard drives down the hallways, but a putt through the lobby may prove just as enjoyable at the Putting Golf Tournament to benefit Chesapeake Center for the Creative Arts. The tournament will be held Saturday at the Comfort Inn in Linthicum. A buffet dinner starts at 6 p.m. with tee-off at 7 p.m. Held by the Rotary Club of Linthicum, this event is open to the public, regardless of skill. The only prerequisite is an appreciation of golf in an elevator.

He dropped the last of the 47 boxes of Christmas decorations at my feet. Dust bunnies from the attic clung to his hair."This is it," he announced, a noticeable lack of holiday spirit in his voice. "Now leave me alone until Jan. 2."TV Guide in hand, he prepared to retire to the bedroom. "I told you when we got married -- I don't decorate."Scrooge lives, I thought. I could have argued but there was work to do. I pulled out my list.1. Plug in all musical animated Christmas figures -- Frosty, Rudolph, Santa and assortment of Disney characters purchased at Price Club.

WHAT'S WRONG now?" my sister asked as she encountered the obvious tension inside the kitchen. "It's her," my oldest son accused as he pointed in my direction. "She wants to go the mall to pick out something stylish for me to wear in the Mr. Glen Burnie pageant." This information made my sister collapse on the floor in uncontrollable giggles. "You buying something stylish. " She was practically convulsing. Offended, I noted that I only wanted to help my son fulfill the dream of all pageant parents -- capturing the Mr. GB crown then sharing a float in the Glen Burnie Memorial Day parade with the reigning Miss Teen Maryland.

THE MUSIC PROGRAM at Glen Burnie High School hit a sweet note over the weekend. About 250 young musicians from Glen Burnie High and its feeder system - Marley and Corkran middle schools, and Oakwood, Quarterfield, Richard Henry Lee, Woodside, Freetown, Glendale, Marley and Point Pleasant elementaries - performed in the Glen Burnie Gala of Music. The second annual gala was staged at the high school Saturday. The high school band and orchestra director, Jeff Thompson, took part in a similar program in a previous teaching assignment at Meade High School.