Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday! Including these two words on a greeting card is fairly standard stuff. Or, at least they were until Kat Feuerstein, a graphic designer in Hampden, recently gave them a typographical twist. Thus, the exclamatory birthday wish is printed in large cursive lettering, but captioned by a phrase set in a much smaller font that reads, "you look fantastic for your age." If you're put off by the cheekiness of this rejoinder, Feuerstein isn't terribly concerned, nor does she particularly mourn the loss of you as a potential customer.

The polar bears did champion backstrokes, then lazily lumbered ashore. A leopard curled up in the sun. The penguins waddled in unison. The new baby chimpanzees, all tiny sweetness, had the cuteness market cornered. And thousands of human creatures gawked, pointed and squealed yesterday at the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore. The zoo, which turns 130 this year, threw itself a birthday bash yesterday, celebrating with free admission, scores of zoo-themed cakes, music, party hats, icy treats for the polar bears and a pat on the back from Gov. Robert L. Ehrlich Jr. Despite the wind and cold, people began lining up almost two hours before gates opened, and by the end of the day, zoo staff counted more than 10,000 visitors.

They call it the beg-a-thon. Bark-a-thon might be a better name. Sure, there is plenty of groveling each year, on the day when Maryland school superintendents, mayors and county executives come - hands out - to a regal, red-walled room in the State House to ask the governor, state comptroller and treasurer for cash to build schools. But there is a lot of growling, too. At least that's how things started the other day, when officials from all over the state came calling and found Comptroller William Donald Schaefer in high curmudgeon.

For years the sign outside Odenton Florist had a simple, rarely changing message: A dozen roses, $15; a dozen carnations, $5.98. Now it changes nearly every day, and flowers rarely have anything to do with it. WENDY LOVE 4EVR MINUS A DAY. CONGRATULATIONS JESSIE ITS A GIRL GOD BLESS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY POOH BEAR LOVE SNUGGLES. In the 10 months or so since someone asked whether he could rent the sign to say something sweet to his girlfriend, this illuminated landmark on Route 175 in western Anne Arundel County has been transformed into the community message board - the spot where people broadcast all sorts of wonderfully sappy sentiments to their loved ones, not to mention the 23,000 drivers who pass by daily.

Ellicott City was nestled under a layer of snow before dawn Saturday and light flakes fell from a gray sky while Dawn Coolahan hurried to prop a wooden gorilla in front of a house on Dogwood Drive. Coolahan hustled back to her van for smaller "Happy Birthday" signs and bunches of yellow bananas cut out of wood. The metal spikes on the signs would not pierce the frozen ground, so - glancing occasionally over her shoulder at the dark house - she tucked them in the bushes and leaned them against flowerbeds.

THINGS ARE TENSE in our house. Our daughter is about to turn 4, which means we have to hold a birthday party, which means my wife is, at the moment, insane. Like many moms, my wife believes that a child's birthday party requires as much planning as a lunar landing -- more, actually, because you have to hire a clown. Serious moms plan birthday parties months in advance, choosing a theme -- Bob the Builder, Disney Princesses, Snoop Doggy Dogg, etc. -- and relentlessly incorporating this theme in every element of the party, including invitations, decorations, music, games, craft projects, snacks, cake, entertainment, favors, little gift bags for the favors, ribbons for the little gift bags for the favors, name tags for the ribbons for the little gift bags for the favors, and on and on until the mom has lost all touch with human reality.

Hi! How are you? Good! Here is my column! It has short words today. Why? Because I am spending a lot of time with my daughter. Her name is Sophie. She is 3! My wife is a sportswriter. She went to Paris, France, to write about tennis. She left me as the lone parent. With a 3-year-old! For 16 days! That makes 384 hours. Or 23,040 minutes. But who is counting? Ha ha! My wife called me. She said it was hard work, sportswriting in Paris, France. I bet! But there is wine there. Not here! Here we drink juice in little boxes decorated with pictures of licensed characters.

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. This is just one of hundreds of memorable rhymes created for children by Dr. Seuss, who began writing books in the 1940s. Monday marks the 99th birthday of Dr. Seuss, which will be celebrated at libraries across the country, including the North Carroll Branch Library, which will present a night called "Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss." Children are invited to learn fascinating facts about the author. For example, Dr. Seuss -- or Theodore "Ted" Geisel -- was not a doctor.

The Christian youth band Captive Free will present a concert at 7:30 p.m. Saturday at St. Mark's Evangelical Lutheran Church in Hampstead. Captive Free, a six-member group, is from Youth Encounter, a Minneapolis-based evangelical Christian organization that sponsors bands that perform at churches, schools, youth events, coffeehouses and nursing homes. An offering will be collected. The community is welcome. The church is at 1373 N. Main St. Information: 410-239-4541. N. Carroll High to have early dismissals tomorrow North Carroll High School has announced that students will be dismissed at 11:45 a.m. tomorrow for parent conferences, to be held from 12:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. Students must have written permission from their parents or guardians to be dismissed early.

One prisoner wrote of his love of soccer, while another wistfully chronicled the life he'd enjoyed on a horse farm many years ago. A third inmate penned a letter to a young daughter: "This year on your birthday behave yourself, take care of your little sisters and study a lot for me. Your daddy loves you very much." As Marion Chalfant reads the essays and letters of prisoners who not long ago could barely read, she can't stop marveling at the powerful words she helped unleash. "It's a miracle to me that all these positive things can come out of a negative environment," she says.