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April 12, 1992
WE ASKED FOR IT, AND WE GOT IT.A torrent of mail stuffed with prose and poetry about, against, in support of and in the voice of our one-of-a-kind governor, William Donald Schaefer.Back in February, we published some puckish poems written in the style of the guv, and asked our readers to send in more of the same.From near and far, we received funny stuff, fanciful stuff and farcical stuff.What follows is only a sampling of the best, balanced to include odes from the pro-Schaeferites, sonnets from the anti-Schaeferites and words from the careful readers who actually followed the instruction to write something in the voice of William Donald Schaefer.
ARTICLES BY DATE
NEWS
by Annie Linskey | May 8, 2012
A series of emails between Gov. Martin O'Malley  and Purdue Industry's top lawyer have drawn criticism from an environmental group for showing undue "coziness" between the two. O'Malley's office denies that conclusion -- but the exchanges do provide political-types a peek into how the state's governor manages key relationships (and some insight as to what exactly he's doing with his Blackberry all the time.) The emails , obtained by public interest organization Food and Water Watch, cover three main topics: O'Malley's attempts to bring Perdue on board with a legislative priority; the governor smoothing ruffled feelings from the poultry giant after a news story the company didn't like; and requests by the lawyer the company for help securing federal funds for a project he supports.
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SPORTS
By MIKE LITTWIN | October 16, 1991
Though not a popular position these days, I wish to say some kind words about our own beleaguered governor.No, seriously.He needs some kind words, and, in this case, he even deserves them.Here's why. The Guv has been made victim to what we might call revisionist history, which is now written something like this: The Guv led us to the current $450 million shortfall in state revenue by, in no small part, allowing himself -- and thereby us -- to be blackmailed by the Orioles into building a stadium for which we have no real need.
NEWS
By JEAN MARBELLA | January 1, 2008
Here's my problem with New Year's resolutions: I don't want to change. What I really want is for other people to change. Just being honest here. And truth be told, isn't it more fun - it's certainly easier - to improve other people than one's own self? In this self-serving spirit, here are my New Year's resolutions, for everyone but myself: Gov. Martin O'Malley and State House Democrats: To declare victory, move on. Is there any reason to keep squabbling with state education chief Nancy Grasmick?
FEATURES
By MIKE LITTWIN | March 17, 1993
We've known for a long time that the guv was -- and I don't want to get too Freudian here -- a little wacko.Generally, though, he seemed pretty harmless, like the uncle in "Arsenic and Old Lace." Sure, he might have the state police track you down like you were a common criminal so he could write you a nasty -- but incredibly immature -- letter, but, hey, it wasn't like he was actually going to hurt anyone.And then I saw the picture at the top of Page 1 of this newspaper yesterday.You saw it, too. There was the guv (Pretty Boy Schaefer?
NEWS
By Jeff Griffith | March 31, 1991
"Well, the legislators got another piece of the Guv.""Huh?""Yeah, the Guv is always runnin' off all over the world when he should stay home and take care of problems here.""When did he do that?""Aren't you paying attention? The guv went off to Kuwait twoweeks ago. The president of the state Senate said he shoulda stood at home. And the speaker of the House of Delegates said the Guv shouldn't have gone neither. He said the Guv shoulda stood at home and helped the poor people here.""Help the poor people?
NEWS
By Jeff Griffith | July 21, 1991
"I see where the Guv visited the county the other day," Old Line Carroll said to the Dead Politician as the two spoke over drinks one night last week. "What the heck does he want here, anyway? He knows we hate his guts.""Actually, he came here because he knows that some of us hate his guts -- but maybe not all of us," the Dead Pol replied. "In fact, the governor has decided to travel all over the state to talk to real people and listen to what they have to say. He started in Carroll specifically because he lost the county in the last election.
FEATURES
By MIKE LITTWIN | September 26, 1994
Doc "Riverboat" Schaefer, the gambling guv, is finally ready to go all the way.He's no longer satisfied with cheesy bar games like keno or low-rent bingo parlors for old women (or old guvs) in support hose.This time, the guv is talking big stakes, the big score.He's talking about building a casino. Right here in river city.Boy, it'd be great, too. It'd bring tons of money and Donald Trump and maybe even (cross your fingers) Wayne Newton to Maryland. And lots of jobs. In fact, I envision the guv, who needs a job soon, as an official greeter.
NEWS
By DAN BERGER | August 6, 1993
Hizzoner will run for guv on his record of picking people for top positions.Bill can count on the vote of Democratic senators except thos who think they deserve his job, which is most.Some judges think they know better than legislatures wha ought to be law and better than juries what happened in the case.
NEWS
By Dan Berger | September 24, 1999
Never in history have so many felt the pain of one man's aching back.Taiwan's quake was bigger than Turkey's in a more populous area, but only one-tenth as many people died because it builds stronger buildings.Baltimore has OK buildings but needs stronger trees, or else underground power lines, whichever's cheaper.The Guv will build highways as long as they don't connect.
NEWS
April 8, 2003
Michael E. Busch: House speaker flexes muscle, outmaneuvers governor, stops slots. Cas Taylor's shoes fit just fine. Delaware and West Virginia: Maryland's gambling dollars continue to pay for their schools and roads, at least for one more year. Brian E. Frosh: Nice-guy liberal senator makes Republicans miss ex-chairman Walter Baker. Blocks Ehrlich's environmental secretary, kills crime package. James C. DiPaula Jr.: The man known as Chip makes fluid transition from campaign manager to budget chieftain, winning friends along the way. Donald E. Murphy: The man behind medical marijuana proves more effective out of office than he was as a delegate.
NEWS
By Dan Berger | September 24, 1999
Never in history have so many felt the pain of one man's aching back.Taiwan's quake was bigger than Turkey's in a more populous area, but only one-tenth as many people died because it builds stronger buildings.Baltimore has OK buildings but needs stronger trees, or else underground power lines, whichever's cheaper.The Guv will build highways as long as they don't connect.
NEWS
By Barry Rascovar | August 17, 1997
THE GREAT Giveaway Game is under way.Before it is over, the show's star, Gov. Parris Glendening, could remind old-time television viewers of Monty Hall, the convivial wheeler-dealer emcee of the old daytime game show, "Let's Make a Deal."There will be plenty of deals by the end of the primary campaign for governor a little more than a year from now. Most of the quid pro quos are likely to be consummated during the 1998 General Assembly session. But the governor is already in his Mr. Generosity mode.
NEWS
By Peter A. Jay | July 24, 1997
HAVRE DE GRACE -- It's been more than a year since Parris Glendening, figuratively saluting the General Assembly with a gubernatorial middle finger, signed an executive order mandating collective bargaining for some 40,000 state employees.The usual old leftists wheezed to their feet to applaud this neo-Sixties gesture, and almost everyone else rolled his eyes.Business groups challenged the executive order in court, but last January an Anne Arundel County judge, concluding that there was nothing odd or unconstitutional about the governor's action, threw out the case, granting a motion for summary judgment before it went to trial.
NEWS
By Barry Rascovar | May 4, 1997
SPRING, A TIME of renewal, finds Parris Glendening enjoying the warmth and sunshine. After three months of high tension during the General Assembly session, Maryland's governor has hit the road to boost his spirits and promote his accomplishments.Much like predecessor William Donald Schaefer, the governor is at his best in the field. There he can sell his programs and impress citizens with the budget loot he is directing into their counties.Forgotten are the frustrations and disappointments of the legislative session, of the lost battles and political animus.
NEWS
By Barry Rascovar | February 16, 1997
JUST CALL HIM Bill Clinton Jr. That is how Parris N. Glendening seems to view himself. His staffers talk about the similarities -- and wonder if that could mean a bright future for Maryland's governor.The two men come from impoverished beginnings in the South. Each was the first in his family to go to college. Both are ''policy wonks'' who revel in arcane discussions of government as political science. They became governors, trying to establish a record that would lead to bigger things.And both men are supremely confident in their ability to persevere and eventually succeed.
NEWS
By DAN BERGER | March 1, 1993
Kurt is the dream candidate for Loot Guv. Right age, constituency, fits his senatorial hopes. Mickey and Joe and Parris must be drooling for his favor.Bill and Boris will meet April 4 but can't agree where. First dates are so awkward.India is a great country and living proof that you don't need the Western cultural tradition to maintain bigotry, intolerance and hatred.Our troops in Somalia are starting to find out who the enemy is.
SPORTS
By MIKE LITTWIN | October 4, 1991
Well, they've finally named the new stadium, and since they took so long, I guess they went overboard.I mean, I thought they'd come up with just one name.I thought it would be Oriole Park or Camden Yards, not both. You could call it an embarrassment of riches, this dual-name business. Or you might want to drop the "riches" part.This is what we've been waiting for all this time? We've been strung along for months and months -- through endless argument and endlessly tiresome, roof-sitting publicity seekers -- and what happens?
NEWS
By Barry Rascovar | January 19, 1997
NEVER AGAIN IN 1997 is Parris Glendening likely to get the kind of center-stage attention he received last week. It was his moment to shine, much as Bill Clinton's moment in the full national spotlight comes tomorrow night.Maryland's governor made a solid impression. Wednesday he delivered a well-crafted speech outlining the state of the state, his themes and ambitious goals and the high points of his 1,751-page budget. Then Thursday, he put on a bravura performance at a press conference detailing his enhanced transportation program.
NEWS
By Barry Rascovar | January 5, 1997
PARRIS GLENDENING could be in for a pummeling. He's not beloved by state legislators, who begin their 90-day session Wednesday. He's proposing far-reaching and very costly programs. And, most important, Maryland's General Assembly has gotten used to chewing up governors.Not since Marvin Mandel in the 1970s has a governor dictated what the legislature would approve or disapprove. From that point on, there has been a steady decline in gubernatorial influence and a steady rise in the power of the General Assembly.
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