Grief

The Year of Magical Thinking Joan Didion Alfred A. Knopf / 219 pages. The acclaimed essayist Joan Didion chose a title at once misleading and precisely apt for her extraordinary memoir of loss, The Year of Magical Thinking. No, this is not a book about sorcerers aimed at the Harry Potter set. But it does have very much to do with a particular fantasy that is especially widespread among those recently bereaved: that if only we could turn back the clock, undo some hitherto unseen, fatal flaw, we could make our dead return to the living, and to us. The moment Didion seeks to isolate - and retract - was the evening of Dec. 30, 2003.

NOVEL INCENDIARY By Chris Cleave. Alfred A. Knopf. 288 pages In every catastrophic tragedy, there are dreadful after-images -- not just for those who were somehow touched by the event, but for all who witnessed it, whether up close or on TV. So it was for Americans post-9 / 11. As someone who had worked in New York for years with friends and colleagues within blocks of Ground Zero, I found the most unbearable such image to be the phalanx of desperate, grief-stricken...

Paul and Leona Randazzo can't forget -- or forgive -- the war that cost them a son. They revisit it every day through tears of grief and, sometimes, anger.Army Staff Sgt. Ronald M. Randazzo, 24, was killed Feb. 20, 1991, when his tanklike anti-aircraft weapon was hit by an Iraqi round on the Saudi Arabian border. He was one of seven Marylanders to die in Operation Desert Storm.There is grief: "It's terrible for me to get over," Mrs. Randazzo said. "I feel like there's a little piece of my heart missing.

Standing in line,waiting to check in for jury duty, I wondered which of the three people behind the counter I would rather handle this. The announcement had said they would confirm my address, employment and marital status. I got the middle-aged man. We went through the form on the computer screen. The address was correct. So was the employer. Marital status? "My wife has died," I said. The cursor moved. The M was changed to W. It moved again to the name of spouse. "Nancy" disappeared.

When a friend is mourning the death of a spouse or child, it's natural to want to help. So why do good intentions so often go wrong? Lynn Kelly knows firsthand how painful the grieving process can be - she was widowed at 34 when her three children were all under the age of 10. Compounding Kelly's grief was the fact that a few of her friends, perhaps scared of saying the wrong thing, said nothing at all: They avoided her. "That's the worst thing people...

Ten chairs form a circle at the Barnes & Noble bookstore downtown. Here on a breezy November evening, two Baltimore mothers, Anne McCracken and Mary Semel, will give their first reading of the anthology they've just published: "A Broken Heart Still Beats: After Your Child Dies."Neither woman knows how tonight will go. McCracken is eerily unnervous. A glass of wine has soothed Semel's jitters.They know what it's like to lose a child. Their book is a compilation of fiction, nonfiction and poetry by authors who know what it's like, too.The circle fills with friends, family members and strangers.

The following column appeared originally in April 1989.When families gather after a death, one characteristic seems to hold true: However somber the adults may be, young children, after a while, cannot resist the urge to scamper around, play and, in general, act like children.That's because they are children, and their reactions to grief don't match those of adults. That doesn't mean children don't feel grief or know that something sad or final or tragic has occurred.Children are highly attuned to the emotions of the people around them.

There is no cure for grief. When a cherished family pet dies, the loss can overwhelm you despite all attempts to cope. If you are like most humans, you may be slightly embarrassed by all this. "Am I crazy, or what?" asks the grief-stricken family member who still breaks into tears months after the event -- or who continues to "see" the departed animal playing in the garden or curled on the bed. Months or years may pass, but the sense of sadness and loss, the desire to be close to that adored animal, does not lessen as one might expect.

Hospice to present talks on grief, loss Laurel Burnett, a bereavement counselor from Hospice of the Chesapeake, will present "Growing Strength in the Seasons of Life: The Journey of Grief," from 11:30 a.m. to 12:20 p.m. at the Pascal Senior Center, 125 Dorsey Road, Glen Burnie, on the following dates: Today: Recognizing and Honoring Loss in Our Daily Lives. Aug. 15: Cumulative Loss. Aug. 22: The Power of Reminiscing. Take a bag lunch or get a meal at the center. Registration. 410-222-6680.

The Jury said "Guilty" and the Judge said "Life" but he didn't hear them.Opening words of"The Mansion," 1960Between grief and nothing, I will take grief.From"Wild Palms," 1939From beyond the screen of bushes which surrounded the spring, Popeye watched the man drinking.Opening words of"Sanctuary," 1931Sitting beside the road, watching the wagon mount the hill toward her, Lena thinks, "I have come from Alabama; a fur piece."Opening words of"Light in August," 1932Memory believes before knowing remembersFrom"Light in August"Pub Date: 9/21/97