Fish

The smiles were bigger than the fish. But that's the way it usually is at the annual Wish-A-Fish event at Sandy Point State Park. Sure, the kids had ear-to-ear grins painted on their faces yesterday. But so did their parents and the scads of volunteers who handed out the fishing gear and life jackets, drove boats, took pictures and served food. So did I. You've got to try really hard to have a lousy time. Consult the Grinch. Sit your snow cone in the sun. Stick your hand in a hornets' nest.

It's too hot to think. Or write. Or do any heavy lifting. It is, as my good friend Arthur says, like sitting in the mouth of a dog. So grab some shade. Power down. Set your brain on simmer. The outdoors will still be there when it cools down a tad. In the meantime ... The fish hanging outside the ladies bathroom at Bass Pro Shop is a crappie. Inside the women's facility hangs a largemouth bass. What are they trying to tell us? Fact: In April, new Department of Natural Resources Deputy Secretary Eric Schwaab soothed anglers who doubted the agency's competence, saying: "We're not asking them to trust us. We're asking them to watch us. When you're in a trust hole, making promises isn't going to get you out. Taking positive steps will."

Low oxygen levels kill 15,000 fish in Weems Creek More than 15,000 fish were killed this week when the oxygen levels in an Annapolis creek dipped too low. Toxins released from decomposing algae likely caused the low oxygen levels in Weems Creek, Maryland Department of the Environment spokesman Robert Ballinger said. "Over the years, scientists have not been able to identify a bacteria or disease causing these kills, so I think it has to be a sudden low-oxygen event," Severn Riverkeeper Fred Kelly said of Thursday's fish kill.

Bill Heavey's humor columns make dandy bookmarks. That's a compliment. For a number of years, I have been carefully tearing the back page out of Field and Stream, underlining his best lines and archiving them in travel books, cookbooks and the latest best-seller that resides in my personal library on the toilet tank. This is my way of acknowledging both his writing skill and the fact that my alma mater, Emerson College (sadly named for Charles Wesley, the carnival barker, not Ralph Waldo, the essayist)

Furniture for petsPets may be less reluctant to stay off your furniture if they have their own. In fact, the chaises, sofas and daybeds from Nebraska designer Carol Copple (above) may make you a bit jealous of Fido or Fluffy as they lounge on fashionable leopard- or floral-print cushions.The furniture from Beastly Furnishings comes in three sizes: small, for animals up to 20 pounds; medium, for animals up to 40 pounds; and large, for animals up to 60 pounds. Prices range from $410 to $540.

SIGNS OF SPRING abound in the Patapsco Valley: Peepers sing in the evening, spice bush and bloodroot bloom, fish are biting, and fishermen are wading into the river to catch them.Trout season opened in the Avalon Area of Patapsco Valley State Park at 5: 30 a.m. March 27. When park ranger Supervisor Fraser Bishop arrived at the gate at 3: 45 a.m., 10 cars were already there.On opening day, 361 anglers came to fish. One man said it took him longer to get into the park than it took him to catch his limit.

The whole atmosphere smells of hair tonic and Aqua Velva, chewin' tobacco and great, heaping levels of testosterone.Burly men in jeans and flannel shirts crowd around booths hawking exotic fishing trips to Alaska, Canada, Montana, each booth featuring a montage of color photos depicting beaming customers triumphantly holding up huge salmon and steelhead against breathtaking backdrops of blue skies, towering fir trees and clear-rushing rivers.But as you wander the aisles at the 15th Annual Bass Expo, Saltwater Fishing and Fly Fishing Show at the Maryland State Fairgrounds and gaze at all the high-tech equipment -- the lightweight composite rods and $30,000 bass boats, the chemically enhanced lures, the rods and tackle strong enough to reel in an oil tanker -- you're left with one overriding thought:Do the fish even have a chance anymore?

Editor's note: After a young girl disobeys the words of a magic fish, she is turned into a fish herself and sent to live in the sea. The queen of the fishes reveals the only way she will be turned back into a girl -- by retrieving the queen's crown from an evil giant."

When people walk into the huge rectangular building filled with row upon row of fish tanks, they almost always ask the two young farmers the same question: "Where did you get your degrees in marine biology?""We didn't," Randy Mattson says, laughing, looking down at the slimy rubber boots he once would have predicted would be wingtips. "We're not exactly farmers. We're businessmen."About two years ago, Mattson and his business partner, Scott Lee, were shrewd enough to spot a potential moneymaker.

" 'A Fish Out of Water' by Helen Palmer is about a little fish at the pet store. A little boy got it. Mr. Carp told him not to feed him too much. But he did and his little fish grew too big! I like this book because the fish gets in the pool."-- Danielle WoodardFountain Green Elementary"You will love 'Space Rock' by Jon Buller and Susan Schade for many reasons. First, the book is amusing because rocks really don't talk. Finally, the book is mysterious because you don't know if Space Rock is going to come back to earth."

Imagine your doorbell rings and, to your surprise, it's a colorful school of 1,500 tropical fish. Actually, they wouldn't even bother to ring your doorbell - they would just stream in through your open windows and swirl around, staring at you while you're eating breakfast. or taking a shower or writing an absurd column on a home fish invasion. It would be alarming, to say the least. Their uninvited presence would seem intrusive, unnatural. This is because fish don't really belong in our world, just as I have concluded that I don't really belong in theirs.

OCEAN CITY - There are many things to admire about the recently concluded White Marlin Open, a fixture here for 36 years. The first is that it's a homegrown product - not some contrived corporate vehicle - conceived by a man who likes to fish and carried out by friends and relatives. It runs so well that founder Jim Motsko can actually motor beyond the horizon to the fish-rich underwater canyons 30 miles offshore to participate. That's like Bud Selig shagging flies before a World Series game.

On August 12, 2009 Ellen C. Ohly Service and interment private. If desired contributions may be in Ellen's memory to Baltimore Department of Aging's Fund for Needy Seniors Attention Jessie Fish, Room 302, 611 Central Avenue, Towson, Md. 21204. Arrangements by the family owned Ruck Towson Funeral Home, Inc.

Here's the scene on a hot Wednesday afternoon at the end of the wooden pier at Baltimore's Fort Armistead Park: A newly arrived immigrant from Vietnam struggled to reel in a 2-pound catfish from the murky depths of the Patapsco River. A black man from West Baltimore put a net in the water to capture the writhing fish. A white man from Arbutus grabbed the line and hauled it in. Then all three men - from two generations and three cultures and races - stood over the pail and admired the biggest catch of the day. Less than an hour earlier, a city judge had denied bail to a white man who police said came to this park early Tuesday and attacked a 76-year-old black fisherman while yelling racial slurs.

Barry Marseglia of Solomons writes: "I've been catching rockfish in the mid-bay region with red sores and red rashes all over the skin. These sores have an odor. Also, in the Calvert Cliffs area, I've caught rockfish with a yellow tint. ... If there is a problem on the skin of the fish, it seems to me it's also in the cells or the flesh of the fish." Mark Matsche, a fish health biologist at the Cooperative Oxford Lab, replies: "Some striped bass in the Chesapeake Bay have a bacterial disease called Mycobacteriosis.

A Washington-based environmental group has been given $4 million in federal economic-stimulus funds to remove two old dams on the Patapsco River that make it difficult for fish and boaters to pass. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration said Tuesday that it has awarded a grant to American Rivers to dismantle Simkins and Union dams, two of four dams obstructing the flow of the Lower Patapsco. Built in the late 1800s and early 1900s to power mills that have long since been closed, the dams hinder fish migration and pose safety risks for people using the river as it flows past Ellicott City, Catonsville and Elkridge on its way to Baltimore harbor and the Chesapeake Bay. Serena McClain of American Rivers said work is expected to begin this summer on removing Union Dam in the Hollofield area of Patapsco Valley State Park off U.S. 40. The 24-foot-high structure was breached by Tropical Storm Agnes in 1972, McClain said, but remains a hazard for inexperienced paddlers and an impediment for fish because of the velocity of water that can pour through the opening in the dam. Simkins Dam, at the site of a cardboard recycling plant devastated by fire several years ago, has a fish ladder meant to help alewives, blueback herring and other fish get upstream to spawn in the spring.

It's been a wet spring. But as Memorial Day nears, the unofficial start to summer is upon the region. That means picnics, lazy days in the sun and a lot of nature-gazing. With many parks and green spaces open longer hours, that also means many more outdoor activities. Here are five ways to take advantage of the great outdoors without leaving the area. * Run in Fort McHenry National Monument and Historic Shrine. At just about a mile around, this South Baltimore site is where Francis Scott Key was motivated to write the "Star-Spangled Banner" after witnessing the 1,000 American troops defend it from the British Navy during the War of 1812.

There's truth. And then there's Internet truth. There are others, such as the self-evident truths, but we'll focus on the one that has watermen, recreational anglers and charter boat captains headed for a showdown that no doubt will be refereed by Department of Natural Resources fisheries biologists. Unfortunately, even when interpreted by the well-intentioned, Internet truth can often be just one facet of the big picture. A snapshot. A drive-by glimpse. The proverbial elephant as envisioned by a group of blind men, who draw their conclusions after touching just one part of the beast.

In sports, we mostly write about the winners. Have an off day, finish off the podium, maybe you'll be listed in the fine print, but probably not. The public likes a winner, too. With their thousands of empty seats, the Orioles and Washington Nationals know that all too well. It's an unusual trait in that most of us don't make it to the top. We're not Michael Phelps or Kimmie Meissner or Katie Hoff. Today, we'll deviate from the formula a little. We'll list the winners of last weekend's Maryland Saltwater Sportfishermen's Association tournament, but we'll start with a young fellow who, except for a clerical error, would have been a contender.

George Miller is a double threat. On March 27, he caught and released the striped bass that accompanies this column. A few days later, he caught a 6-pound, 24-inch rainbow trout at the Daniels area of Patapsco Valley State Park. Not too shabby. Needless to say, with two weeks to go before the start of the spring striped bass season, the big fish are in. Nice how that works, huh? There are already reports of fish just below the 50-inch mark being caught at all the usual spots. Miller, who lives in Glen Arm and works at the McCormick plant in Hunt Valley, caught his fish just off Breezy Point while trolling a chartreuse-and-white parachute.