Fat People

YOU HIT A BALL and walk after it, and then you hit it again and walk after it. It's not even an important looking ball, it's small and dimpled, and you can't whack at it right away -- you have to be polite and wait. And people do this for hours!As a tennis player, I think this would be frustrating. In tennis you move a lot faster, you and the ball get to bounce.But golf is one of America's most important sports.My friend Pammy is taking up golf. She says that she suddenly realized that the men in her office play golf constantly and they seem to get promoted faster than the women.

BABES,'' A Fox Network (Channel 45) sitcom starring three very fat sisters, is not only poorly plotted and acted but it is inane and degrading to overweight people everywhere.I think it means to send the message that you can be fat and love it, get dates, have relationships and enjoy a great life.But it abounds with fat jokes and a forced merriment that is overplayed to the last pound.If I were grossly overweight I would resent this television show.Roseanne Barr and John Goodman in ''Roseanne'' try to legitimize being very overweight.

Q: I have read the letter from Penny and the comments of your readers. I believe she should not lose the weight and that she is a woman with a heart of gold. She is the sort of woman I would like to show off to my friends, and in my eyes she is a 10.A: You are not alone. My mail has been top-heavy with letters -- mainly from men -- stating that I made a major blunder by advising her to lose her extra poundage, and that weight alone is not a turnoff. What matters is the person within, and on that score Penny is a winner.

CITY COUNCIL President Mary Pat Clarke's proposal to raise council members' salaries by a whopping 24 percent lasted about a week before she withdrew it. It wasn't exactly a propitious time, what with city employees facing wage freezes and layoffs. Besides, Clarke lacks a floor leader with flair and the ability to sell the Brooklyn Bridge. She lacks a leader like Solomon ("Sol") Liss.From 1955 to 1963, Liss was the City Council's heavy -- figuratively and literally. He weighed 300 pounds (though he actually dared to appear in a dancer's tutu, performing in the Swan Lake ballet)

AND speaking of Bill Clinton's health plan -- we have a saying in Washington, "The opera isn't over until the fat lady sings." By coincidence, it is the fat lady that President Clinton's program is aimed at.One of Bill's spear carriers told me, "The president wants everyone, including the fat lady, to have decent health care at a price he or she can afford."He held up a plastic health card that would guarantee equal treatment. "Let's say that the fat lady gets sick and can't appear in the second act. This card would permit her to go to any hospital in the area and receive treatment regardless of the kind of medical plan her opera company carries.

I HATE racism," Andy's paper reads. He has chosen his essay topic "racism" from a list I put on the board this morning."It's not fair to be racist against fat people or girls either. People can't help being fat or girls," he argues.This is where I slap my hand to my forehead and mutter to myself, "Why didn't I suggest they look up their topic in the dictionary first?" Not every eighth grader in our village fully understands the basics of racism, much less the implications."Your essay is well done, Andy," I tell him as I roll up beside his desk.

The mother took several minutes to open the door, and when she did on Wednesday, she told police that her son never came home the night before. "He's not here," she repeatedly told the officers. But he was there, hiding in the basement. The team of Baltimore police sergeants, detectives and officers - all working on a special operation to suppress crime after a spate of shootings in recent weeks - searched the two-story house on the 3500 block of W. Cold Spring Lane and apprehended the suspect.

More than 20 million Americans are living with diabetes, and another 40 million are in the early stages of the disease. Managing diabetes can be a challenge all year long, but the holidays can pose special problems. All those extra treats, meals and drinks can add up to extra pounds and higher glucose levels. But a little planning, and will power, can keep diabetes in check, according to Susan Steinweg, a registered nurse and a certified diabetes educator. She's also the coordinator of Carroll Hospital Center's Diabetes Center.

Phil Donahue says he would broadcast an execution on hi talk show."What's wrong with it?" he said. "Let's see future bad guys watch these people fry right here on television."-- Associated PressBreezy opening theme. Fade in to studio audience applauding. Donahue is standing stage left next to an ominous-looking electric chair. He wears a bemused expression.Donahue: "Thank you, thank you. Well, we've got a special treat for you today. Billy Clyde Semple has been on Death Row in Florida's Railford Prison since 1987.

From the time our British Airways 747 left the United States until we returned 10 days later, we saw no diet food. Decadence was not the issue. It's just that diet food, as we know it, is largely unavailable in Europe.There is no Equal, no Sweet 'N Low, no Diet Coke, no fat-free salad dressing, no low-fat cheese. There are no Nutrition Facts labels on food. And, by observation, there are very few fat people.So one has to wonder about the value of our restructured foods.Health professionals have long observed that America's love affair with sugar substitutes has not helped us achieve healthy weight.