Family Tree

THE VERY THOUGHT of being a parent overwhelms me. When I am around a child who begins to cry or otherwise let the world know that all is not well, I panic. "If the baby isn't wet, sick, hungry and nothing is hurting them, why are they screaming?" I once asked a friend. Her reply was simple: "If they aren't wet, sick, hungry and nothing is hurting them, they usually don't scream." Despite her years of experience, I didn't believe a word of it. There had to be something more there. Next month, The Family Tree and Brooklyn Park Middle School will offer programs designed to enhance the skills that parents need to see their offspring successfully go from kindergarten to college.

WARRENTON, Va. - Dr. William Sladen has explored Antarctica, studied waterfowl in Siberia and taught Canada geese to fly behind an ultralight plane. The five young swans splashing on the edge of a pond here are his latest adventure. To the untrained eye, the birds waddling around central Virginia's Airlie Center look like the common mute swan, which is considered a pest in some parts and even a threat to the environment, hardly an object of intrigue for a famous wildlife researcher. But Sladen stands on the edge of the pond, rapt.

WASHINGTON -- An astonishing number of previously unknown relatives are turning up in the human family scrapbook, as archeologists dig up the remains of long-lost great-great-uncles and aunts who once shared our planet. The fossils of three more ancient ancestors were reported this year. Scientists have now identified at least 17 prehuman species that once walked the Earth -- sometimes two or three of them at the same time. The skulls and bones of more than 5,000 archaic individuals have been found, some dating more than 5 million years, according to Rick Potts, director of the Human Origins Program at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington.

Porcini mushroom-scented Dover sole roulade with roasted pepper mousseline on spinach noisette and golden tomato coulis -- and that was just the first course at the Family Tree's Great Chefs' Dinner. That and dishes like Maryland crab salad with Osetra caviar and green peppercorn- crusted veal chop on foie gras risotto were why some 275 people filled the Center Club for the charity's annual gourmet meal, which each year is prepared by a different visiting chef. This year, chef Lynn Kennedy-Tilyou, from Taneytown's Antrim 1844 Country Inn, received rave reviews from the gathering of gourmands.

THIS JOURNEY began innocently enough, a curious foray into my family's history. But I find it has led me into an unexpected place of greed and betrayal, slavery and cruelty. For generations my father's family has passed down a legend. It is a story of an early white settler in northern Alabama named John Gunter who married a Cherokee "princess." My father's mother was a Gunter from Alabama, and as I grew up I was intrigued by the romantic tale. I always proudly added "Cherokee" to the list of otherwise European nations whose blood we believed moved in our veins.

LIKE MANY families, mine sometimes exaggerates the accomplishments of our ancestors. All of my Irish relatives, for example, claim to be descended from "Celtic ruling clans." None ever seems to hail from a "losing clan." On the German side of the tribe, the name Kasper is an indication, or so I have been told, that we are kin to kings. Another possible translation of "Kasper" is puppeteer. Given the choice between claiming we are descended from monarchs or from street-corner performers, we go the royalty route.

I talked with Rob Hiaasen on the phone the other day. Naturally, I was surprised to speak with Rob Hiaasen on the phone. Surprised because I, Rob Hiaasen, thought I, Rob Hiaasen, was the only Rob Hiaasen on Earth. (Don't we all think we're the only ones in the universe?) My discovery -- which may rank with the recent DNA-sequencing discovery as the two single greatest accomplishments of the new century -- began as all cosmic breakthroughs do: simply, serendipitously. I, Rob Hiaasen, was performing a search on Yahoo, an Internet service that, among other neat things, can find anyone if this anyone has a listed phone number.

Foundation seeks nominees for six awards in arts The Cultural Arts Foundation of Anne Arundel County is seeking nominations for six awards honoring county residents who have fostered and promoted the arts locally. Categories for the awards -- called "Annies" -- are Literary Arts, Visual Arts, Performing Arts, Arts Educator, Arts Patron and Lifetime Arts Achievement. Deadline for nominations is May 1, with nomination forms available through county arts organizations, educational institutions and the foundation.

YOUR QUEST INTO your ancestry might begin with an old family photograph, or a family legend, or curiosity about your family tree. A vast resource to aid your search for relatives is the Family History Center, at Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 4117 Lower Beckleysville Road, Hampstead. The Family History Center is a library of millions of names from around the world, and particularly Europe. It's stored on CDs, microfilm, microfiche, and in books and other records. A staff of knowledgeable volunteers enjoys explaining how to use a computer to sift through records from the past millennium to find your family.

Lots of people who follow the Jefferson-Hemings saga are applauding last week's conclusion by the Thomas Jefferson Memorial Foundation that the third president likely fathered his slave's six children. It's about time, say Sally Hemings descendants and historians, who for years have argued -- with plenty of documents and a DNA test to back them up -- that Jefferson had a long-standing relationship with his slave. But one branch of the family isn't celebrating the new report: the descendants of Thomas Woodson, who have long claimed their ancestor was the first child produced by the union.