Family Matters

Carlos Gray was less than thrilled when he figured out that the Northeast Baltimore camp program his mother runs was trying to sneak school work into fun. But by the end of last summer, after answering questions like "What's 5 times 5?" every time he caught a beach ball from a friend, Carlos knew his multiplication tables and was ready to start third grade. The beach-ball math game is one way that camps, parents and school systems are trying to fight the "summer slide." Research shows that without reinforcement over the summer of what they've learned, students can lose up to two months of skills in reading and math by the time they head back to school in the fall.

People responding to wedding invitations this summer should not be surprised if they're asked how they want to pay: check or charge? Engaged couples are tossing traditional registries faster than bouquets, asking for cash instead of Cuisinarts. Some lovebirds set up money registries, looking for "donations" to help defray the costs of the wedding or a mortgage, while others solicit cash for honeymoon expenses. Nader Khoury and his fiancee are pioneers in the money-for-marriage movement.

When he embarked on his first family trip as a single dad several years ago, John Frenaye thought a cruise would be fun. But each of his three kids -- then 3, 5 and 8 -- wanted to do something different on board. It was hard for their father to keep track of everybody by himself, much less please them all. "First I thought, how stupid is this?" recalled Frenaye, an Annapolis travel agent. But, tussles and all, the cruise turned out to be a great vacation, and Frenaye and his children have kept traveling.

Lois Stephenson has seen her share of kids' high jinks. Raising four daughters and owning three day-care centers, there's scarcely a silly ditty or funny face she hasn't encountered. Goofs, gags and practical jokes just come naturally to kids. And they don't need an excuse to cut loose. "They're always giggling and laughing and enjoy playing jokes on each other," says Stephenson, owner of the Building Block Childcare and Development Centers in Clayton, N.C. That's good. There's much to be gained by cultivating a sense of humor.

Around the turn of the 20th century, a small group of Baltimore-area mothers gathered to learn more about a wondrous and mystifying subject: Their children. Their group became the Maryland branch of the Child Study Association of America, bringing parents together with experts in child development. Their ranks grew and changed with the times. In the 1940s, the group sponsored day-care centers for the women who went off to work, in war plants, for the first time. In the '60s, they learned how to talk to their children about sex. In the '70s, there were programs on women's depression, toy safety and weight watching for children and parents.

SUTTER, Calif. -- This little Northern California farm town is blissfully unaccustomed to turmoil. But recent weeks dished up a hopper of dissent. It started with a girl who went home from junior high saying she felt like an orange. Lauren Tatro, 13, told her parents the plain facts. Every student at Brittan Elementary School had to wear a badge the size of an index card with their name, grade, photo -- and a tiny radio identification tag. The purpose was to test a new high-tech attendance system.

THE MARINE CORPS fell slightly short of its recruiting goal last month, the first time that has happened in nearly a decade. But it was not for want of trying, because the phone was ringing in my house. I got two calls from Marine recruiters last month, and they went something like this. "Evening, ma'am. Is Jessica available?" "No, I am sorry, she's not. Can I take a message?" I wasn't surprised by the call for my college-student daughter. People are still calling her to baby-sit, and she's been gone since August.

Overwhelmed parents and out-of-control kids are prime-time TV fodder these days, but it's not just for sitcom laughs anymore. Viewers of Fox's Nanny 911 and ABC's Supernanny are finding dysfunctional real-life families entertaining and even educational - if parents are willing to spend their free time watching someone else's children throw tantrums. After a day with their own kids, it may be a little too much reality for some. The competing shows place a no-nonsense British nanny in a chaotic home with wild kids and ineffective parents.

What treasure would you save if a natural disaster struck?dyd The key to a lifetime of sound sleep, says one Atlanta attorney. "If there's a fire, what am I going in there for? I've thought about that," says Asim Raza. "Kids and wife. And then -- my pillow. If you're 35 and you've been sleeping on the same pillow for 31 years, you don't take that lightly." This isn't a joke to Raza, or to the many other adults who are deeply attached to the cushions that lull them to sleep each night. Before getting married, Raza told his fiancee, "My pillow is really important to me."

Two studies reported this month that requiring teenagers to get parental permission before seeking contraceptives would not have the intended effect of reducing sexual activity among them. In fact, requiring parental permission would have the worst possible effect: Teens would not stop having sex. They would just stop using birth control. The result would be more unintended pregnancies and higher rates of sexually transmitted diseases. Texas and Utah already have such laws on the books.