Facial Hair

Don't be surprised if your next Domino's Pizza comes with a goatee -- on the delivery driver, that is. The Michigan-based pizza chain announced yesterday that it has dropped its long-standing ban on bearded employees, while settling a 12-year-old Maryland lawsuit that accused the company of discriminating against a Catonsville Sikh whose religion forbids shaving. Changing American fashions, not conscience, prompted the nation's No. 2 pizza chain to drop its no-beard policy effective yesterday, said Tim McIntyre, vice president for corporate relations.

Virtually mistake-proofA change of hairstyle can mean expense, hair anxiety and a risk of looking goofy until regrowth occurs. But now the computer age has addressed these problems with the Cosmopolitan Virtual Makeover. It's a SegaSoft CD-ROM that allows women to see themselves in hundreds of different styles and colors without touching a follicle on their heads.Working with her own photograph, a woman can screen hairstyles, colors, highlights, eyebrow shapes and makeup tints on her home computer.

A man who threatened in a note to shoot a teller, but never showed a gun, robbed a Linthicum branch of NationsBank on Wednesday of an undisclosed amount of money, county police said yesterday.The man walked into the bank in the 200 block of Benton Ave. about 10 a.m., used a desk, then approached a teller and held a note at eye level, police said. The note demanded money and contained a threat to shoot the teller and himself if the teller did not comply, police said.The teller handed over money from a cash drawer, and the man walked out of the bank north behind Linthicum Elementary School, police said.

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- Orioles left-hander David Wells, who played for Cincinnati last year, said yesterday that he fully supports Major League Baseball's decision to suspend Marge Schott and related a nasty incident he says occurred between his 4-year-old son and the Reds owner."

Suddenly, they're everywhere -- on rock stars on MTV, on baseball stars on ESPN, on film stars on talk shows, and even on real men in real life. This has become, believe it or not, the Summer of the Goatee, perhaps the high-water mark of goatee popularity in all of goatee history.That outlaw form of facial hair is growing out on male faces all over America.For centuries, these weird beardlets have been favored by those on the societal fringe -- poets, revolutionaries, jazzmen, beatniks, fencers and folksingers (Peter, Paul minus Mary)

ANOTHER nice thing you can do with a beard is stroke it thoughtfully, making yourself appear scholarly.Indeed, rubbing my chin is the best tactile substitute yet for pipe smoking, which I abandoned several years ago when the office became a no-smoking preserve.But then there are those crumbs from lunch . . .. . . Oh, excuse me. There I go ruminating again on the pros and cons of facial hair.This internal debate has dragged on for several months, ever since I returned unshaven from a week's sailing trip.

Facial hair is a catalyst to male metamorphosis. And the latest metamorphosis -- the goatee -- is a throwback to the 1950s, when beatniks, those artsy and devilish-looking cats were the intellectual rebels.Today the goatee is more a fashion statement than an act of rebellion, although a rebellion against shaving may be one motivator. The short, neat, mustache paired with a chin-only beard has been spotted on the likes of Bruce Willis, Adam Rich, Paul Reubens, Mickey Rourke, Rob Lowe and members of the bands the Smithereens and Los Lobos.

Shaving is a ritual men have been performing since . . . well, we don't really know when, do we?Ancient man didn't have the benefit of hot-lather machines, electric shavers, disposable plastic or twin blades. Too bad. We do know that the oldest-known metal razors date to 3,000 B.C., and the ancient Egyptians often were buried with their silver and bronze razors.Although modern man may moan about this daily chore, it is surely made easier with technology's intervention in removing the daily average of 15,500 facial hairs.

OAKLAND, Calif. -- Orioles relief pitcher Gregg Olson would like to look more like the Mad Hungarian, but his new beard has not had the desired effect. At this point, he would be lucky to pass for a slightly perturbed Czech.Starter Mike Mussina had hoped that his new goatee would strike fear into the hearts of opposing hitters. Instead, his Leninesque growth has left him looking more like a member of the Socialist Workers Party than a baseball player.Outfielder Brady Anderson arrived at spring training with his sideburns reaching well below the ear. It had nothing to do with his on-field persona.

For you calendar junkies, it's not "only May" anymore. Now, it's getting close to June.The season's more than a quarter done, and still the Orioles are in first place.Here's the deal: It looks like they could stick around.You see, these are not the pesky Orioles or the miracle Orioles. So far, they've been winning on merit. They hit, they pitch, they field. In other words, they've been solid."Over the course of a season, you have your ups and downs," said Johnny Oates, a solid manager. "I think we have enough to have more ups than downs."