Facial Hair

Virtually mistake-proofA change of hairstyle can mean expense, hair anxiety and a risk of looking goofy until regrowth occurs. But now the computer age has addressed these problems with the Cosmopolitan Virtual Makeover. It's a SegaSoft CD-ROM that allows women to see themselves in hundreds of different styles and colors without touching a follicle on their heads.Working with her own photograph, a woman can screen hairstyles, colors, highlights, eyebrow shapes and makeup tints on her home computer.

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- Orioles left-hander David Wells, who played for Cincinnati last year, said yesterday that he fully supports Major League Baseball's decision to suspend Marge Schott and related a nasty incident he says occurred between his 4-year-old son and the Reds owner."

A man who threatened in a note to shoot a teller, but never showed a gun, robbed a Linthicum branch of NationsBank on Wednesday of an undisclosed amount of money, county police said yesterday.The man walked into the bank in the 200 block of Benton Ave. about 10 a.m., used a desk, then approached a teller and held a note at eye level, police said. The note demanded money and contained a threat to shoot the teller and himself if the teller did not comply, police said.The teller handed over money from a cash drawer, and the man walked out of the bank north behind Linthicum Elementary School, police said.

Suddenly, they're everywhere -- on rock stars on MTV, on baseball stars on ESPN, on film stars on talk shows, and even on real men in real life. This has become, believe it or not, the Summer of the Goatee, perhaps the high-water mark of goatee popularity in all of goatee history.That outlaw form of facial hair is growing out on male faces all over America.For centuries, these weird beardlets have been favored by those on the societal fringe -- poets, revolutionaries, jazzmen, beatniks, fencers and folksingers (Peter, Paul minus Mary)

ANOTHER nice thing you can do with a beard is stroke it thoughtfully, making yourself appear scholarly.Indeed, rubbing my chin is the best tactile substitute yet for pipe smoking, which I abandoned several years ago when the office became a no-smoking preserve.But then there are those crumbs from lunch . . .. . . Oh, excuse me. There I go ruminating again on the pros and cons of facial hair.This internal debate has dragged on for several months, ever since I returned unshaven from a week's sailing trip.

Shaving is a ritual men have been performing since . . . well, we don't really know when, do we?Ancient man didn't have the benefit of hot-lather machines, electric shavers, disposable plastic or twin blades. Too bad. We do know that the oldest-known metal razors date to 3,000 B.C., and the ancient Egyptians often were buried with their silver and bronze razors.Although modern man may moan about this daily chore, it is surely made easier with technology's intervention in removing the daily average of 15,500 facial hairs.

OAKLAND, Calif. -- Orioles relief pitcher Gregg Olson would like to look more like the Mad Hungarian, but his new beard has not had the desired effect. At this point, he would be lucky to pass for a slightly perturbed Czech.Starter Mike Mussina had hoped that his new goatee would strike fear into the hearts of opposing hitters. Instead, his Leninesque growth has left him looking more like a member of the Socialist Workers Party than a baseball player.Outfielder Brady Anderson arrived at spring training with his sideburns reaching well below the ear. It had nothing to do with his on-field persona.

Three men smashed a display case outside a Glen Burnie Mall jewelry store yesterday and stole $9,000 worth of men's rings.The three men used a sledgehammer -- and escaped with about $9,000 worth of jewelry, police reported.The three men were last seen heading north on the Beltway in a 1985 Pontiac 2000 with Pennsylvania license ACR 5598, police reported. One suspect was described as black, 6-foot, 18 to 26 years old, with a slender build and wedge-type haircut, wearing a navy blue sweat suit and red T-shirt.

For you calendar junkies, it's not "only May" anymore. Now, it's getting close to June.The season's more than a quarter done, and still the Orioles are in first place.Here's the deal: It looks like they could stick around.You see, these are not the pesky Orioles or the miracle Orioles. So far, they've been winning on merit. They hit, they pitch, they field. In other words, they've been solid."Over the course of a season, you have your ups and downs," said Johnny Oates, a solid manager. "I think we have enough to have more ups than downs."

Facial hair is a catalyst to male metamorphosis. And the latest metamorphosis -- the goatee -- is a throwback to the 1950s, when beatniks, those artsy and devilish-looking cats were the intellectual rebels.Today the goatee is more a fashion statement than an act of rebellion, although a rebellion against shaving may be one motivator. The short, neat, mustache paired with a chin-only beard has been spotted on the likes of Bruce Willis, Adam Rich, Paul Reubens, Mickey Rourke, Rob Lowe and members of the bands the Smithereens and Los Lobos.

One of Baltimore's best beards appears in Anchorage today, seeking hirsute glory in the World Beard and Mustache Championships. Mickey Fried, 39, owns the beard as well as Belle Hardware in Bolton Hill. He is the only Marylander who dared go whisker-to-whisker with fuzzy faces from around the world, or at least the only one willing to shell out for travel to Alaska. The prize that lured Fried all that way? "I think you get a piece of paper with your name on it saying you were there," he said.

ABOUT THREE MONTHS ago, a clean-cut Erich von Marko looked in the mirror and saw serious growth potential. The 32-year-old musician normally grew a beard in the winter but had gone barefaced for about 18 months. He needed a new look -- one that would amplify his rock-star status and give his face a little kitsch value. On a whim, von Marko grew a caterpillarlike mustache. "I figured I'd get the old cop look just for the summer," he said. "Or maybe the Freddie Mercury." It was a mark of rugged manliness for legions of men in the 1970s and '80s.

A man who was shot in the parking lot of an Odenton lounge died early yesterday morning, Anne Arundel County police officials said. Shortly before 3 a.m., the 47- year-old man was sitting in his Ford Expedition outside My Place Bar and Lounge in the 1600 block of Annapolis Road with a 45-year- old passenger when a gunman approached them and announced a robbery, police said. After the man handed belongings to the gunman, the two scuffled. The gunman then shot the 47-year-old man and fled, police said.

Howie Mandel knows the power of womanly persuasion. When producers of the TV game show Deal or No Deal offered to make him the host, he turned them down twice. "I didn't get it," Mandel said. Then his wife said, "You idiot, take this job," he recalls. He did. The show, where contestants pick briefcases containing sums of money from 1 cent to $1 million, attracted more than 18 million viewers an evening in its first season - a jackpot for NBC. Somehow, "I told you so," just doesn't quite say it. "She was right," Mandel said.

Temperatures were in the 40s and dropping late Wednesday afternoon as the Atholton marching band rehearsed on the high school parking lot. "Right side out," said Lee Stevens, the director, his voice amplified through a portable public address system as more than 70 students followed his directions, stepping carefully as they played drums, tubas, saxophones and other instruments. "Forward march. Left side out. Forward march." Again and again, band members stepped through their 9 1/2 -minute routine on the empty parking lot, as Stevens, the school's music director, analyzed every note from the musicians and flag twirl of the color guard.

MAYBE WE should all be relieved that the biggest issue facing the Ravens as they prepare to open training camp is whether coach Brian Billick should shave off his new beard. I'm of the opinion that any NFL story that doesn't involve a federal prosecutor is probably a good one, but when I first saw a picture of Billick with his new facial hair, I had to wonder if he was going through one of those midlife crises that invariably end in a journey of self-discovery to the Himalayas. In fact, I have this picture in my head of Billick sitting on a small rattan loveseat with the Dalai Lama and the Lama asking him one of the questions of the ages: "Do you think Ray Lewis has lost a step?"

Just when you thought baseball players were as staid and personality-challenged as pro golfers, the Boston Red Sox and their idiots won the 2004 World Series. They added much-needed color to baseball's bland landscape last season. But not all of the sport's characters wear "B's" on their hats. There are some without rings, some away from the burning spotlight, who can still fill up a notebook. One of baseball's most outspoken players passed through Camden Yards last week, with a hot bat and a sizzling mouth.

Almost every campaign has one, a subterranean, policy-free question irritating to the candidate but fascinating to the voter. It's never something one can comfortably ask the politician; rather, it percolates in private conversations, makes the rounds of Internet chat rooms and sometimes snakes its way onto talk radio. So here's what a lot of people are whispering about Republican Robert L. Ehrlich Jr.: That dark, straight, immobile head of hair - is it real? To his credit, Ehrlich, the 2nd District congressman running for governor, laughed and laughed when finally asked this question recently.

Giving up freedoms hands the terrorists the victory they seek I agree with the main premise of Dan Rodricks' column "`Crash Cafe' has no place in our strange new world" (Sept. 21): Building such a restaurant at this time would be in poor taste, perhaps even cruel. However, I must strongly disagree with several of the ways Mr. Rodricks intends to cope with our new world. If he'd like to meekly wear sweatpants, shorn of facial hair as well as dignity, that's his choice. I, on the other hand, will be proudly sporting my Levi's Button Fly while listening to Metallica on my laptop.

Baltimore police asked for the public's help yesterday in finding two East Baltimore men wanted for questioning in a mass shooting Memorial Day that left one person dead and 11 wounded. Police said yesterday that they think Charles Byers, 23, and Darryle Robertson, 20, have changed their appearances and are hiding together with the help of friends and associates. "We know that individuals are aiding them," said Maj. George Klein, who heads the department's warrant apprehension task force.