Duds

A 9-year-old grandson hooked Jerome Sollins up with a fashion maven. The youngster submitted granddad's name in a Father's Day promotion at Gage World Class Menswear, and his name came up.He won a grooming makeover, an outfit, and the attentions of a fashion consultant. It was his birthday, to boot.Sollins liked that just fine, although he admits that he thought was doing pretty well on his own -- with wifely help.These days, Sollins leans to lots of casual clothing, having retired and sold Shapiro's, the longtime family market on Reisterstown Road.

It looks like a rerun. After a year of weak retail sales, analysts say they are expecting few dramatic changes in 1996."Still sluggish at best," said Mark A. Millman, president of Millman Search Group Inc., a leading retail consulting firm in Lutherville. "People are cautious. They can make do with what they have. They're spending money on big-ticket items. The days of the '80s and yuppies and having the import designer label is out. People are more conscious of pricing. Department stores have gotten more promotional, and everything's on sale all the time.

The new meter reader uniforms are here! Tomorrow afternoon, Baltimore Gas and Electric Co. shows off its duds au courant, with changes to reflect BGE's new logo and "new image." (Didn't know they had one.) This is OK by me, with two stipulations -- no Michael Jackson-style epaulets, and no gray caps when the team goes on the road. (By the way, BGE will donate its old meter reader uniforms to Christopher Place, the shelter for homeless men in Baltimore. Logos have been removed from the donated duds.

Within the next week, please send old photos of kids playing dress-up to Way Back When, Sun Magazine, 501 N. Calvert St., Baltimore, Md. 21278. You must include caption information and your daytime phone number. Also, enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope if you'd like your photo returned. If your photo is your only copy, please send a good-quality duplicate, not the original. No faxes or newspaper clippings, please.

It was the Milwaukee Brewers over the Orioles, big, but here was the real final score on Opening Day at Camden Yards yesterday:Team Selig 7, Team Angelos 0.Revenge of the Bud Man.Back home in his bunker in Milwaukee, where he watched on television, baseball commissioner/small-market owner Bud Selig was partying down, no doubt. Bratwurst, polka music, vanilla milkshakes, the whole deal.You could almost hear him from here: Take that, you scheming little subversive asbestos lawyer! We rolled out the barrel right on your head!

There was lots of excitement at the Walters Art Gallery the week after Christmas. Not only was it a record-setting week for visitors, but a crew from NBC Sports spent several hours in the museum's 1904 building filming a two-hour sports special. Scheduled to air Jan. 14 will be Baltimore performances by well-known figure skaters. Additional footage showing international stars Kurt Browning, Katerina Witt, Kristi Yamaguchi, Scott Hamilton, Paul Wylie, Sergei Grichoch and Katia Platov in the Renaissance Sculpture Court and the Medieval and Renaissance galleries will be used to introduce various segments of the NBC special.

(Note from the Legal Department: The activities described in this column are dangerous and stupid and possibly illegal and should be performed only by trained humor professionals who are good at sneaking around. This newspaper assumes no responsibility or liability for any injuries, deaths, maimings, cripplings, eyes getting poked out, pregnancies, fires, riots, ointments or suppositories that may or may not occur as a result of some moron attempting any of these activities or any other actions, forfeitures, debentures, indemnifications, and such other big, scary legal words as we may or may not think up at some future point in time.

The thousands of people who came to Columbia's downtown lakefront to celebrate Independence Day fireworks were treated to a textbook example of the best laid plans gone wrong.First, there is the question: why did those in charge decide to celebrate one of our most tradition-filled holidays, on July 3, a day early? I'd like to think it was because they thought it would give people the opportunity to see two fireworks displays -- the one in Columbia and their choice of many others around the state on the real Fourth of July.

Please send old photos of lifeguards, within the next week, to Way Back When, Sun Magazine, 501 N. Calvert St., Baltimore, Md. 21278. You must include caption information and your daytime phone number. Also, enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope if you'd like your photo returned. If your photo is your only copy, please send a good-quality duplicate, not the original. No faxes or newspaper clippings, please.

No tears should be wasted on the once-proud but now nearly destitute MGM, which seems hell-bent on self-destruction. Still, the truth is harsh: The studio that once ruled Hollywood hasn't a clue any more.That fact is driven home even harder than usual by the appearance of "Blown Away," MGM's big summer film and the recipient of most of its scant promotion budget. But "Blown Away" does nothing as well as "Speed," while telling essentially the same story -- the mad bomber and his mano-a-mano with a determined bomb squad officer.