March 29, 1995
Gump, Gump, Gump, Gump, Gump. Were we shocked at the big winner at the Academy Awards Monday night? Of course not.The guests weren't very surprising, either. Nearly everyone was well-behaved. Some of the stars even combed their hair this year. For once, the presentation patter was slightly less than awful. Were there no highlights or disasters?Of course there were. Maybe you're still annoyed at some of the choices made at the Oscar ceremonies, but you can be assured that these unofficial awards are well-deserved:Most optimistic joke: "We should all be home in about half an hour."
September 18, 2006
"It would be nice if the guys in the pits occasionally surprised me with a piece of carrot cake or something." David Letterman From the Top 10 List of Things Never Said by a NASCAR Driver "We got our tails whipped." Tim Duckworth Auburn guard, after his team beat LSU [ From wire and Web reports]
November 11, 2008
Ball State@Miami-Ohio 7 p.m. [ESPN2] What do we know about Ball State? The Cardinals - did you know that? - are ranked 14th. The school is located in Muncie, Ind. Sure, we know David Letterman is an alumnus, but how about these other illustrious former students: Joyce DeWitt of Three's Company; Garfield creator Jim Davis; Oprah's squeeze, Stedman Graham; and former Oriole Merv Rettenmund. Consider yourself enlightened.
April 14, 1992
"As right wing Dallas billionaires go, H. Ross Perot is the very best we have." So says Fort Worth Star Telegram columnist Molly Ivins. She says she once mistakenly wrote that he makes a million dollars a year. In fact he makes a million dollars a day, and he called her with the correction -- collect.* * *EARLY TO BED, early to rise makes you healthy, wealthy and wise -- but you miss David Letterman's Top Ten feature. Here is a recent one:Top ten other shocking revelations about Bill Clinton:10.
April 16, 2002
Who's hot Pitcher Glendon Rusch has four RBIs in eight at-bats this season, fourth most on the Brewers. Who's not The Yankees have 14 errors in as many games, worst in the American League. Line of the day Sammy Sosa, Cubs RF AB R H RBI BB 2 2 2 2 3 He said it "I don't care what Jay Leno has to say. I don't even watch him, because David Letterman is better." Wendell Magee, outfielder for the winless Tigers, butts of Tonight Show jokes On deck Randy Johnson of the Diamondbacks attempts to improve to 4-0 today when he faces the Cardinals.
January 18, 1993
Harold Baines is the biggest Os acquisition since Glenn Davis.Haitians must understand that when Bill said he would let them into the country he did not mean, of course, that he would let them into the country.It turns out that some of our smart bombs don't read Arabic.The British Parliament will enact laws to prevent the scurrilous press from snooping on politicians the same as royals.From all the hoopla, you would think it was David Letterman who got elected, not Bill Clinton.
October 3, 1994
News of the dayThere were no labor negotiations. No talks are scheduled.Games lostThere were 669 games lost.Money lostOwners lost estimated revenue of $580 million. Players lost estimated salary of $230 million. New York Mets third baseman Bobby Bonilla, who has the highest salary this season at $5.7 million, lost $1,619,672. Each player at the major-league minimum of $109,000 lost $30,973.Quote"We won't be hearing the crack of the bat again until next April. Or in the Mets' case, maybe June or July."
June 6, 1991
Exclusive guest host Jay Leno will take over as host of "The Tonight Show" following Johnny Carson's final appearance on May 22, 1992, announced NBC Entertainment President Warren Littlefield.Leno joins Carson, Steve Allen and Jack Paar in an elite circle o hosts of the most highly acclaimed late-night show in television history. Carson announced the date of his last show last month.When Leno takes over as host next spring, the show returns to NBC Productions, by which it was previously produced until Carson Productions assumed responsibility in September 1980.
March 23, 2007
CALVERT DEFOREST, 85 Letterman sidekick Calvert DeForest, the white-haired, bespectacled nebbish who gained cult status as the oddball Larry "Bud" Melman on David Letterman's late night television shows, died Monday in New York, Mr. Letterman's Late Show announced Wednesday. He made dozens of appearances on Mr. Letterman's shows from 1982 through 2002, handling a variety of twisted duties: dueting with Sonny Bono on "I Got You, Babe," doing a Mary Tyler Moore impression during a visit to Minneapolis and handing out hot towels to arrivals at the Port Authority Bus Terminal.