Dana Carvey

What do you mean, you can't go home again?With TV, it's like we never left.And during the February sweeps that begin this week, the wayback machine will be in nostalgia overdrive, recycling the golden memories from Mayberry to Bedrock and beyond.Ever since CBS hit the jackpot with retrospectives and reunion specials for "The Ed Sullivan Show," "All in the Family" and others, the major networks have glommed onto nostalgia as a sure-fire success formula.So a key ratings month like the February sweeps is a natural for these memory fests.

"The High Flyer," by Susan Howatch. Knopf. 512 pages. $26. Susan Howatch has high hopes. She would like to save your soul, for one. She would like you to run to church, drop to your knees and beg for forgiveness. But that makes for a very short book. So she couches her message -- forgive me, Message -- in a 512-page morality tale. This isn't a novel. It's the longest sermon on record. Our heroine is Carter Graham, a hard-charging, highly successful London lawyer whose life is so structured she speculates whether her dates will be fertile enough to impregnate her when the Daily Career Planner says it's time to start a family.

For those of you not watching Game 6 of the World Series tonight (did someone tell the real Braves to take the rest of the year off after Game 2?), here are a few suggestions"Dumbo" (2 p.m.-4 p.m., WNUV, Channel 54) -- Classic Disney, this story of the traumatized baby elephant with the huge ears is one of the best. But parents be warned: What happens to Dumbo's mother isn't pretty."Carreras, Domingo, Pavarotti with Levine: The Three Tenors in Concert 1996" (8 p.m.-9: 30 p.m.) -- Those three deep-toned voices are back, performing this time with the help of the Metropolitan Opera Orchestra, under the direction of James Levine.

WASHINGTON -- President Bush chose his own peculiar way yesterday to let the nation know he's out of his post-election funk: He invited Dana Carvey to the White House to make fun of him.About 300 staff members hastily summoned to the East Room for a Christmas message from their defeated leader broke into uproarious laughter when the band struck up "Hail to the Chief" and the Bush impersonator from NBC's "Saturday Night Live" strode to the podium.With the president first encouraging him as part of the audience, then joining the comedian in a duet of famous Bush hand gestures, Mr. Carvey ran through his repertoire of First Foibles -- inspiring more real mirth than the White House has seen in many months.

The big blockbuster film of 1996 shows up on cable tonight to blow things up real good."Mad About You" (6: 30 p.m.-7 p.m., WBFF, Channel 45) -- Vintage greatness: Paul tries to get the great Alan Brady (Carl Reiner) to narrate a documentary about TV. Thankfully, Brady is still the ego-inflated blowhard he was on "The Dick Van Dyke Show." Whatever you do, don't stop watching until the final credits have rolled."Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman" (8 p.m.-9 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- Grant Shaud ("Murphy Brown")

This is hard to believe -- an Oscar telecast with nothing to really complain about during its prime-time portion. What are people going to talk about this morning?If Billy Crystal had the flu last night, maybe he should get sick jTC more often. Crystal was funny, smart and smooth as host of the show. Following a pointless opening montage of Hollywood Past that bode ill for the evening, Crystal came on stage and turned it around in minutes with a clever parody of the traditional opening musical number.

The casualties of war are not always obvious."My bones been hurting a lot," says a man named John. "Sometimes I have shortness of breath, you know, just dizziness, just constantly going. Can't be explained by nobody."Others are suffering those syptoms and more: aching joints, wart-like growths, rashes on arms and hands, bleeding gums, memory loss.These symptoms are being suffered by a number of those men and women who did duty in the Persian Gulf war, and no one seems able to explain why.This story, which appeared in the Chicago Tribune last week, gets further exposure tonight on "20/20" (10 p.m., Channel 13)

"Saturday Night Live" has been on the cutting-edge of comedy since the Ford Administration, bringing America everything from Killer Bees to Fernando's "You Look Marvelous" to "Wayne's World." Last year's dismal season prompted many long-time viewers to call for its euthanasia. Tonight, a best-of show could reveal whether there's any life left in SNL. Maybe we owe it this last chance.* "Saved by the Bell: The New Class" (6:30 a.m.-7 a.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- This show is hardly worth getting out of bed at the crack of dawn for, but President Clinton makes a cameo appearance at the end of today's episode, in which Lindsay's new smoking habit worries her friends.

CBS has offered late-night talk-show host David Letterman a two-year, $28 million contract if he'll jump from NBC -- a deal that would make him one of the highest-paid stars in television.Under the deal, the irreverent Mr. Letterman would butt heads with Jay Leno's "Tonight Show" in the 11:30 p.m. slot he has openly coveted.NBC has until Jan. 15 to match or better the offer.The New York Times reported today that Mr. Letterman had accepted the offer. A representative of Mr. Letterman's agency, Creative Artists Agency, refused to comment.

`Little Nicky' Rated PG-13 Sun score: ** If there were a God, one would think She would stop Adam Sandler from making his inane movies. However, "Little Nicky" actually turns out to be pretty good - but only strictly in the category of low-brow, fart-joke flicks. "Little Nicky" has an unbelievably lame plot, but it ends up being hilarious in parts, thanks largely to the all-star cast that includes Harvey Keitel, Jon Lovitz, Dana Carvey and Rodney Dangerfield. Sandler plays Nicky, the youngest son of the devil (Keitel)