Dan

WELL, AT least Dan Quayle is still funny.The latest in vice-presidential humor comes from Gary Cohn, a 32-year-old entrepreneur in Wheeling, Ill., who has set up the Dan Quayle Joke, Song and Blooper Line (1-900-USA-DANNY), which gives us something to do besides go to the bathroom when we take a break from CNN.Cohn is the same guy who marketed the Dan Quayle Watch -- keeps perfect time but with the wrong numbers, as advertised in the Quayle Quarterly, the only publication devoted to the vice president.

The Baltimore sports scene is blessed with a bunch of talented bloggers who bring their unique perspective to the conversation. Each week, I hope to chat with one of them in a regular feature called Blogger on Blogger. This week, I exchanged emails with Dan Ciarrocchi, a member of the Fantasy Sports Writers Association who writes about fantasy football for Pro Football Focus and the Redskins for Hogs Haven, an SB Nation website. MV: Which rookie backs will have the most fantasy impact in 2013?

A joint memorial service for Margaret Dan Lynch All friends and family are invited to share in this celebration of Margaret and Dan. The family will host a small reception at the Meeting House following the service.

Dan Burns has always been a local boy. He grew up Severna Park, won three Anne Arundel County titles and two state championships at Severna Park, and played college lacrosse at Maryland. Now, after beginning his Major League Lacrosse career with the Rochester Rattlers and Hamilton Nationals, Burns is returning home. The Chesapeake Bayhawks acquired the 25-year old in a trade with the Nationals this offseason, reuniting him with former Terps coach Dave Cottle in his home state.

Well, let's see: the Clinton presidency is going down the tubes, the economy is still in need of a defibrillator, the situation in Bosnia is worsening and crime is so bad in the cities you can't buy a loaf of bread without strapping on body armor and a Glock 9mm.So naturally the big question on everyone's mind these days is: "How're old Dan Rather and Connie Chung getting along on the "CBS Evening News?"

Richard Baker realized the love and trust that residentsaround Monument and Gay streets had for his pharmacist father when he saw a man walk into the store one day with a knife in his head."

BOSTON -- Forgive me for being a contrarian, but Dan Quayle was not right.It's been four years, one presidential election and two book tours since that famous "Murphy Brown" speech. Today, anyone who wants to be allowed onto the family values bandwagon has to repeat the same contrite password: "Dan Quayle was right."But due to a penchant for history, and access to electronic archives, I must opt out.Dan Quayle was wrong when he said that "Murphy Brown -- a character who supposedly epitomizes today's intelligent, highly paid, professional woman -- mocked the importance of fathers by bearing a child alone and calling it just another lifestyle choice."

WASHINGTON -- Virtually every review of Dan Quayle's new book, "Standing Firm," contains a line about how Quayle "reveals" that he considered running for president in 1988.There are two reasons almost all reviewers mentions this:1. It appears on page 18 and most book reviewers don't stop reading a book until page 50 or so.2. It is the height of audacity that a person such as Dan Quayle should have even dreamt of running for president in 1988.In the interest of establishing an accurate historical record, however, and also to stroke my own ego, Quayle does not reveal his 1988 presidential plans in his new book.

Dan Ryerson and Selene de la Pena Garza were acquaintances working the graveyard shift at Perdue Farms Inc. when -- out of necessity more than anything else -- they struck up a friendship. There aren't a lot of young people at Perdue, they explain. And few of them work the third shift. Dan, a 1992 graduate of Dulaney High School, grew up in Phoenix. After earning a degree in food science and technology at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in Blacksburg, Va., he was hired by Perdue.

DAN BROS., THE friendly old shoe store in South Baltimore that outfitted celebrity athletes, Major League umpires, politicians and mere pedestrians for more than six decades, is going out of business. The final sale starts tomorrow and runs until the 12,000-pair inventory disappears. Tears. I guarantee tears. "Grown men and women are already crying," says Harry Kalinsky, longtime salesman and the man who recently sold me a smart pair of Giorgio Brutini's for $39.95. The price sticker is still on the sole of my right shoe.

OAKLAND, Calif. - Before Michael Lewis' book "Moneyball" hit the best sellers list and before Brad Pitt brought Oakland A's general manager Billy Beane to the big screen in the Academy Award-nominated film of the same name, the concept of building a small-market club through shrewd acquisitions, farm system strengthening and an obsession with on-base percentage had already been featured north of the border. Arguably, the first incarnation of the Moneyball concept occurred in Montreal in the early 1990s.

Almost exactly 20 years ago, Barbara Dafoe Whitehead wrote a controversial essay for The Atlantic titled "Dan Quayle Was Right. " In case you forgot (or never knew), let me fill you in on what Mr. Quayle was right about. There once was a popular sitcom called "Murphy Brown. " The title character, played by Candice Bergen, was a news anchor. The show had its moments, but it was also insufferably pleased with itself and its liberalism. At least until the arrival of the Aaron Sorkin oeuvre ("The West Wing," "The Newsroom")

Dan Brown fans can get a look at the opening of his upcoming book, "Inferno," along with a free ebook of his breakthrough best-seller, "The Da Vinci Code," publisher Doubleday announced today. The digital two-fer, which marks the 10th anniversary of DVC, will be available until March 24 at e-book retailers, the company said. Fans will also get the prologue and first chapter of "Inferno," which is scheduled for a May 14 release. It's a smart move for Doubleday. It doesn't cost much to offer the DVC download -- everyone in the whole world has already read the thriller.

Dan Deacon, along with John Eaton, will host a "fun free dance party" on Wednesday at "The Space Formerly Known as the Zodiac" (1726 N. Charles St.). The party kicks off at 10 p.m., and will include DJ sets from Deacon and Eaton. There will also be a set from DJ Regional Barbecue - which isn't just the greatest DJ name of 2013, but it's also the moniker of Future Islands bassist William Cashion. It's 21+, and again, best of all - it's free. For more details and a look at who could be there, check out the Facebook event . wesley.case@baltsun.com twitter.com/midnightsunblog

The Orioles agreed to terms with catcher Matt Wieters on a one-year $5.5 million deal Friday, avoiding arbitration in Wieters' first year of eligibility. But Orioles executive vice president Dan Duquette said the organization would like to pursue the possibility of signing Wieters to a long-term deal. Now that the Orioles signed center fielder Adam Jones to a six-year, $85-million extension last season and extended both Duquette and manager Buck Showalter through 2018, the organization's next step to locking up its cornerstones would likely be signing Wieters, who becomes a free agent after the 2015 season, to a long-term deal.

Dan Brown, who is know for mixing science, religion and history into his thrillers, announced today that his latest book will focus on "The Inferno," by Dante Alighieri. Brown's latest blockbuster-to-be, "Inferno," follows "The Lost Symbol" and "The Da Vinci Code," which highlighted mysteries behind such topics as the U.S. Capitol, da Vinci's The Last Supper, Masons and Opus Dei. The publisher said the new book will again feature Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon and "is set in Italy and centers on one of history's most enduring and mysterious literary masterpieces, Dante's Inferno.

Tom and Katie held hands like newlyweds while they watched the Washington Redskins from Daniel Snyder's box Monday night. No sign of the new baby, but it was just as well since Dan doesn't like to compete for attention. Of course, for those of you who don't spend your time in the grocery line flipping through Us and People, I'm referring to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, who became young Dan's new best friends when Tom signed a big production contract recently with a company controlled by Snyder.

The shelves are mostly empty, and shoppers are scarce. But Dan Bros. Discount Shoes is back in business. The nearly 70-year-old South Baltimore fixture at 1032 S. Charles St. did not close as expected, but instead changed hands and is getting a face lift. Amir Nia, a Rockville man who is a shoe importer, took over the business Jan. 1. In early November, local celebrities and dignitaries bid adieu to Dan Bros. in what was supposed to be its going-out-of-business sale. The store unloaded all but roughly 60 of the 12,000 pairs of shoes left in the store, at prices ranging from $20 to $1,700.

Montana native Dan Morgan was no Colts fan. But a passion for Baltimore football runs through his genes, he says. "My dad and other family grew up in the Baltimore area and had a huge attachment to the Colts," said the 49-year-old mechanic. Morgan moved to Baltimore just before the Colts left town and lived through the years when the NFL had no local presence. Now the father of three daughters, ages 20, 18 and 16, goes to every Ravens home game. "I usually take one of my kids or nephews to each game," he said.

Dan Deacon and his ensemble were confined to the "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" stage last night, a rarity for the acclaimed Baltimore electronic musician. (If you've been to a Deacon show, you likely know he prefers the floor, with the crowd by his side.) Rules may be rules, but Deacon still made his unique connection with the audience through the Dan Deacon smartphone app . As you'll see in the clip, Deacon - broadcasting from an iPhone - instructs viewers at home to play along, too. It's a strong performance from Deacon and his ensemble, as "True Thrush's" pop sensibilities naturally shine.