Csi

"The New American Diet System" (Simon & Schuster, $22.95) by Sonja L. Connor, a registered dietitian, and William E. Conner, her physician husband, claims that you can help reduce your risk of heart disease if you use the Cholesterol-Saturated Fat Index or CSI.The CSI is a number that instantly ranks foods by their ability to raise the cholesterol level in your blood -- a risk factor for heart disease and stroke. The higher the CSI, the more cholesterol, saturated fat or combination of the two the food contains.

Since Maryland began collecting DNA samples from suspects arrested in violent crimes and burglaries, it has used that evidence to win 58 convictions, including eight in rape cases. As the state's DNA database becomes more extensive and more genetic samples are collected in crime scenes, the usefulness of this tool to solve crimes and put dangerous people behind bars will only grow. DNA evidence is much more accurate than eyewitness identification and more ubiquitous than fingerprints.

When CBS announced in 2002 that it was opening a tropical franchise of the network's biggest hit, to be named CSI: Miami, the star and executive producer of the original CSI was understandably irate. "I wanted them to wait another year and let that show be something else instead of a carbon copy of ours," says William Petersen. "My objection was to the timing." Petersen, who plays Las Vegas crime scene investigation chief Gil Grissom, has seen what happens to a bandwagon when TV jumps on with both feet.

Nothing is more awkward than watching a gaggle of models try to pronouce medical jargon, and that's what made it all the more fun. This week, CBS (CW parent company) shamelessly plugged "CSI" (which I haven't watched since Grissom left), Express beat it into our brains that they sell fun, flirty and sophisticated clothes and Kayla was rushed to the hospital ... because she was stressed. In the end, one model went home and I threw a little parade in my head afterward. Join me, won't you?

I'D WALK through fire for the `guys' I worked with on CSI. I could never be sick of them!" says Jorja Fox, who has left the popular TV series. What happens when - after several seasons of making the TV viewing public come to adore you, to feel itknows you and, indeed, that it owns you - you disappear of your own free will from its screens and lives? I had a chance to offer this question to the actress on the very day tabloid TV was shouting things like "Jorja disappears from CSI at last for good," or words to that effect.

Betty Tape staggered into the dimly lit room wearing a red feather boa, and an evening gown that was torn and splattered with blood. Her face was bruised and she had a noose around her neck. "My dress is ruined," she wailed as she fell backward onto the floor and died. Well, not really. Actually, she was playing the part of a flamboyant philanthropist in the premiere of an interactive murder mystery called CSI Glen Burnie by Do or Die Productions Inc. at Whispers Restaurant on Baltimore-Annapolis Boulevard in Glen Burnie.

Not too gimmicky and not too talky (well, most of the time), CSI: Beethoven, the brainchild of Baltimore Symphony Orchestra music director Marin Alsop, fused historical research, medical diagnoses, theatrical impersonation, slide projections and occasional music in an innovative fashion. Given in two parts, Wednesday and last night at the Meyerhoff Symphony Hall, the show reflected Alsop's own interest in the CSI franchise on TV, as well as a desire to provide an extra hook for the BSO's current Beethoven-filled season by investigating the composer's deafness and death.

Raymond Chandler, were he with us now, might well relish what will happen on TV tonight and then on Thursday night when the CBS hit situation comedy Two and a Half Men combines with the serious and very popular CSI brainchild of Jerry Bruckheimer. Tonight's episode of Two and a Half Men will be a sequel to last week's show that gave us the marriage of two middle-aged romantics, Evelyn and Teddy, (Holland Taylor and R.J. Wagner). Meanwhile, the star of the show, Charlie Harper, played by Charlie Sheen, is having a secret sexy romp with Teddy's daughter, played by actress Jenny McCarthy.

A Hampden woman met a man through Myspace.com, then disappeared after their first date. Police zeroed in on a suspect through cell phone records and eventually realized that a portion of the fatal beating was recorded on her voice mail. In a taped confession to police, the man described the grisly steps he took to disguise his victim's identity -- and explained that he learned how to cover his tracks, in part, from a popular television cop drama. Such shows as CSI: Crime Scene Investigation promise fiction ripped from the headlines, but the case unfurling this week in a Baltimore County courtroom seems to be an instance of crime following television's lead.

Of course, those contentions are that McNamee injected Clemens with steroids and human growth hormone 16 times in 1998, 2000 and 2001. The physical evidence that McNamee is said to have handed over to investigators are syringes and gauze pads with traces of Clemens' blood. Reportedly, McNamee produced the material about a month ago. It's all vaguely reminiscent of Monica Lewinsky preserving Bill Clinton's DNA evidence on the infamous blue dress that helped prove the two had inappropriate moments together.

A 45-year-old man found guilty of killing a woman in an abandoned house was sentenced to 33 years in prison, a ruling that drew applause from the victim's mother, who had asked the judge to keep the defendant behind bars for life. Darnell Jeter of the 5000 block of Walther Ave. was convicted in May largely on what prosecutors have called "CSI-like" forensics evidence that linked him to the murder weapon and crime scene. Police found the victim, Theresa Parker, 39, unresponsive on the second floor of a home in the 1200 block of Treeleaf Court, in the Somerset Projects, in March 2007.

The last time I visited the Baltimore courtroom where Mayor Sheila Dixon is on trial, it was for a homicide case, and a medical examiner was among the many witnesses. This time, the alleged crime is theft and, instead of a medical examiner, the state calls to the witness chair the "asset protection manager" for a major retail chain. His name is Frank Walborn, and he shows up in wrinkled white shirt and khaki pants, cell phone on his belt, with a 5 o'clock shadow at 10 a.m. Call him "CSI-Target."

Richardson hurt in skiing accident Actress Natasha Richardson, critically injured in a skiing accident, was on a flight to the United States, Britain's Press Association news agency reported yesterday, quoting Canada's Sacre-Coeur Hospital. Richardson was hospitalized after falling during a lesson on a beginners trail at Mont Tremblant ski resort in Quebec on Monday. IrishCentral.com reported that the Tony Award-winning actress suffered a head injury. Richardson, 45, is the wife of Liam Neeson and the daughter of Oscar-winning actress Vanessa Redgrave.

Raymond Chandler, were he with us now, might well relish what will happen on TV tonight and then on Thursday night when the CBS hit situation comedy Two and a Half Men combines with the serious and very popular CSI brainchild of Jerry Bruckheimer. Tonight's episode of Two and a Half Men will be a sequel to last week's show that gave us the marriage of two middle-aged romantics, Evelyn and Teddy, (Holland Taylor and R.J. Wagner). Meanwhile, the star of the show, Charlie Harper, played by Charlie Sheen, is having a secret sexy romp with Teddy's daughter, played by actress Jenny McCarthy.

Subject: Long-haired male. If you go CSI: Beethoven will be presented at 7:30 tonight (Part I) and 7:30 p.m. tomorrow (Part II) at Meyerhoff Symphony Hall, 1212 Cathedral St. Tickets are $20. Call 410-783-8000 or go to bsomusic.org.

NEW YORK -- Television's most popular program, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, is also its least family-friendly, a TV watchdog group says. The Parents Television Council criticized the CBS drama this past week for stories about cannibalism, S&M sex clubs and snuff films. What's worse is that CBS occasionally reruns the show at the 8 p.m. hour, when more children are likely to be watching, said Melissa Caldwell, research director for the 800,000-member organization that monitors sex and violence on TV. The group released its annual list of the best and worst prime-time shows Thursday.