Critters

It's an affliction that can strike anyone, multiplying so fast, entire households are consumed without warning. They're called ferrets, and the slinky, domesticated descendants of polecats are now rivaling dogs and cats as the pet of choice in the United States -- with a difference.Once someone buys a ferret, they can't seem to stop. They fill their homes with the cuddly critters, ringing up cash registers from coast to coast with sales of cages, pooper-scoopers, sleeping hammocks -- yes, sleeping hammocks -- and fleece carrying satchels.

Flying squirrels are in our attic. I'm exhausted because they start making a racket at 2 a.m.! What can we do? They stored acorns all over. Will they eat my telephone and electrical wiring? Flying squirrels are nifty animals. You or a wildlife control service need to install a one-way opening where they are getting in, so that the squirrels can exit but cannot re-enter. If there are multiple entrances, find and plug or screen all except one with heavy gauge screening such as hardware cloth.

It's an affliction that can strike anyone, multiplying so fast, entire households are consumed without warning. They're called ferrets, and the slinky, domesticated descendants of polecats are now rivaling dogs and cats as the pet of choice in the United States -- with a difference.Once someone buys a ferret, they can't seem to stop. They fill their homes with the cuddly critters, ringing up cash registers from coast to coast with sales of cages, pooper-scoopers, sleeping hammocks -- yes, sleeping hammocks -- and fleece carrying satchels.

In a moment, you will hear the story of Georgia B. Martin and her exasperating efforts to get someone in government to help her remove a groundhog from her garden in historic Federal Hill. But first, I must think out loud, among patient readers of The Baltimore Sun, about how a groundhog got to Federal Hill in the first place. Federal Hill is in the city of Baltimore, surrounded by water on one side, and on the other three sides by a gentrified urban landscape of rowhouses, retail establishments, restaurants and many barrooms.

Tonight CBS introduces two new shows -- "Scorch" at 8 and "Fish Police" at 8:30 on Channel 11. And all I can say is: Bring back ALF. Please, oh please, bring back the old ALF-meister.For those with short memories, ALF was the star of the show, "ALF," which premiered on NBC in the fall of 1986. ALF was a robo-dog from outer space who crash-landed in the garage of a perfectly square sitcom family when his planet, Melmac, exploded. ALF and his girlfriend, Rhonda, lost each other after the intergalactic explosion, and it was a constant source of heartache for the little fellow.

A Border terrier's self-appointed job, says Joyce Kerns, is to please.Mrs. Kerns, who breeds Border terriers, describes the dogs this way: ''They are not so fancy or stylish, but loving little companions who are plucky, alert and who own the people they live with. They dedicate themselves to pleasing.''The breed is the oldest of terriers -- they are working terriers who go to ground after the fox, hedgehog or small critters. Breed information reveals that in the 1700s they were used by farmers on the Scottish-English borderlands.

If you happen to be returning books to the Miller Branch Library, stop for a moment and look at the art exhibit on the right side of the lobby as you enter. You'll see a wonderful collection of pencil and pen-and-ink sketches drawn by Jack Bockmiller. Subjects include historic sites from Elkridge and Ellicott City and others from Maryland locations.Mr. Bockmiller, a retired employee of Johns Hopkins' Applied Physics Laboratory in Fulton, is a native of Howard County and identifies with the county.

Dog and cat lovers, step aside. A new breed of ferociously fanatical pet loyalists has arrived: the ferret people. Champions of the soft, squirmy critters came out yesterday for Monster Mash, a championship show and ferret fest that was a benefit for the Baltimore Ferret Club and Shelter. In a huge hall with a faint, but distinctive, barn smell, hundreds of believers converged for unlimited access to all things ferret. "They're just the most endearing, intelligent, interactive pets I've ever had," said Barbara McGivern, who drove to Parkville from Pennsylvania with several of her 17 ferrets.

AFTER SITTING around most of the summer doing next to nothing, my backyard fig trees suddenly began producing a glut of fruit. This rush to ripeness resulted in a race between me and the critters -- birds, bees and ants -- to see who could eat the figs first.Fresh figs are a prize worth pursuing. They have a unique texture, and a flavor that is sweet but not cloying. So I put on a pair of gloves -- protection against surprised critters -- and went out and pinched the figs. The pinching helps determine how ripe the figs are.I had read that Italians, who seem to know a lot about figs, don't harvest them until they see juice dripping out of the blossom end of the fruit.

Tonight CBS introduces two new shows -- "Scorch" at 8 and "Fish Police" at 8:30 on Channel 11. And all I can say is: Bring back ALF. Please, oh please, bring back the old ALF-meister.For those with short memories, ALF was the star of the show, "ALF," which premiered on NBC in the fall of 1986. ALF was a robo-dog from outer space who crash-landed in the garage of a perfectly square sitcom family when his planet, Melmac, exploded. ALF and his girlfriend, Rhonda, lost each other after the intergalactic explosion, and it was a constant source of heartache for the little fellow.

Maryland's threatened little bog turtles may be getting some extra help from the state's farmers, under a new federal conservation initiative. Obama adminstration officials are slated to unveil today (3/8) a $33 million bid to make more farmers and other landowners partners - instead of potential adversaries - in efforts to save seven rare and endangered critters, including North America's smallest turtle, which in Maryland is found here and there in marshy spots in Carroll, Baltimore, Harford and Cecil counties.

It's a sorry state of affairs when birds perch on a scarecrow. But that's precisely what happens when birds become too familiar with a scarecrow that isn't periodically relocated or replaced by a different scarecrow. Still, have you ever heard of an animal repeller that attracts birds? It's strange, yet true. A robin was so attracted to the red light-emitting diode on our YardGuard Silent Animal Repeller, it relentlessly pecked at the LED, presumably trying to eat it. I was surprised, because birds typically shy away from shiny objects.

The Intercounty Connector isn't finished yet, but already the new six-lane highway across the Washington suburbs is drawing traffic — beneath it. Deer hoofprints and tracks of raccoons and other small animals traverse the soft dirt floor of an oversized stream culvert under an almost completed stretch of highway near here. It's one of 10 wildlife crossings being installed along the 18-mile, $2 billion transportation project. Crews are still putting the finishing touches on the western half of the ICC, which is to open in early 2011, weather permitting.

Sue Muller carefully scraped the dry dirt from a spot along Columbia's Lake Elkhorn walking path, using a small garden trowel and a water-filled spray bottle to soften the earth until she saw the white of turtle eggs peeking through. The Howard County naturalist kept at it, slowly carving out the rectangular hole painstakingly dug two weeks before by a ridge-backed turtle of a species normally found along the Mississippi River. Muller stopped for a time to invite passers-by Lucas Julian, 6, and his mother, Irene, of Clary's Forest to watch and learn, but then returned to her main task.

When her family was thinking about moving to Texas three years ago, Maggie Mei Lewis, then barely in her teens, so wanted to stay in Maryland that she hatched a seemingly far-fetched plan. "I thought, 'I'll write a book, and I'll make enough money to stay here,' " says Lewis, 16, who lives in Turkey Point. She still hasn't earned enough to be independent, but the result of her labors — "Moonlight Memoirs: Remembering That Family and Friends Are Forever," a richly illustrated children's book — recently took first prize in the spirituality category of the Next Generation Indie Book Awards, a competition for self-published authors around the world.

A dog might have had an easier time finding a bone in the snow Saturday afternoon than the drivers who were looking for decent parking at the Maryland State Fairgrounds, where hundreds of people refused to let rough weather keep them from one of the biggest animal events of the year, the World of Pets Expo. Pet people who marked their calendars for this shuffled through the slush, sweatered dogs in tow, to get inside the show where it was quite obvious there's not much folks won't do - or buy - for their animals.

It's dawn, and I'm a wreck. I'm bleary-eyed, I smell like a brewery, and I spent half the night in a strange bed.I'm not fit to be around.I stumble down to breakfast, unshaven, rumpled, exhausted. I crawled in at 2 a.m. I hardly slept at all. I've been out late all week, and the night life is taking its toll, on both me and my wardrobe. There are beer stains on all of my T-shirts.My wife is bemused by my appearance. My daughter is not."You look gross, Daddy!" says Beth the Sixth-Grader.My approval rating is low with everyone but the dog, who is licking my T-shirt.

Frogs, frogs everywhere - and nary a squeamish, slime-phobic person in sight. It was all frog fanciers, tadpole lovers, terrarium enthusiasts, herpetologists and breeders of moist-skinned critters at this weekend's annual International Amphibian Days in Timonium. Hundreds came - some from as far as Arizona and Maine - to buy, sell and swap critters, pick up exotic plants for terrariums and share tips on breeding, raising and adoring amphibians with fellow self-described froggers. "We call it a hobby gone bad," said Greg Sihler, who works full time as a computer expert and on the side runs a successful frog business, Arizona Dendrobate Ranch, with his wife.

It was birthday time for Bayley, a 1-year-old Atlantic bottlenose dolphin, but the birds, dogs and cats were getting all the presents Saturday at the National Aquarium. Bayley has come a long way from the helpless calf with a large head and tiny body born at the Baltimore aquarium last year. Now she's a growing and inquisitive dolphin that has joined the aquarium's popular show ahead of some of her older peers, learning new tricks and trying her best to duplicate her mother's jumps. That's in part because animal care staff keep her busy with what they call enrichment activities, organized play designed to encourage natural behaviors and stimulate development, said Sue Hunter, director of animal programs.