Christmas Dinner

We all know the arguments for cutting back this time of year. Of course we want to de-stress our lives and emphasize the spiritual side of the holidays. But have we gone too far? Maybe we don't need to simplify Christmas anymore. Maybe this year we ought to think about having a more, not less, elaborate Christmas -- without spending a ton of money. The problem with cutting back is that we're sometimes eliminating our rituals and traditions, those things that connect us to our past and create memories for our children.

On Christmas Eve mornings, years ago, my sisters and I would pile into the back of a pickup truck and Dad would drive us to a friend's farm to hunt down our Christmas tree.We'd cover miles on foot, running from tree to tree, cataloging flaws. Too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, a hole here, a space there. Finally one perfect tree would stand out from all the rest.Victorious, we'd ride home tucked between branches and tickled by pine needles, singing our Christmas songs.We'd prop that tree in a wobbly stand, then tie it to the curtain rod, just in case.

Here's a pairing you don't see every day: cosmetic surgery and safaris. The Surgeon & Safari program invites patients to South Africa for their reconstructive operations (which can be as much as 80 percent cheaper than those in the United States) and then follows them up with luxury recuperation (which includes massage and butler service) at one of two Orient Express hotels -- one in Cape Town, the other in Johannesburg. There's also an option for a jaunt through the open plains to watch some of the area's magnificent animals, although at that point, you and your bandages might look more exotic than the wildlife.

Off to a good start, with the cleaning in preparation for Kathleen's family's descent upon us this afternoon, accompanied by the lessons and carols from King's College on the radio. Kathleen and J.P. are finishing up the tapas for late afternoon and the Ukrainian holy supper afterward (mushroom soup, sauerkraut and barley, four or five species of pierogi). Alice is on her way over, and I have the wine chilling. Kathleen, of course, is obligated later for the Christmas pageant at Trinity, Towson, and in gratitude for my absence from all such involvements I will later pour myself a second glass of wine.

Corporate family feuds get no uglier than the Hafts'.Physical abuse, financial blackmail, safe deposit box raiding, boardroom power plays and marital infidelities are among the alleged sins committed by Haft members, one upon another.The dispute is rooted in patriarch Herbert Haft's change of heart last year about who will succeed him as boss of Landover-based Dart Group Corp. Herbert, 73, fired eldest son Robert and anointed younger son Ronald. Herbert's wife, Gloria, and daughter, Linda, sided with Robert, launching the family into lawsuits, countersuits and big headlines.

A record number of turkeys and toys likely will be distributed to needy Harford County families this Christmas -- if organizers of a major holiday assistance program can keep up with the demand.Last Christmas, Neighbors in Need, the emergency aid program that operates through the Harford County Department of Social Services, provided food, toys and clothing to 2,800 families in the county, said program director, Joy Rich."We'll easily surpass that number this year," she said. "We still have applications coming in every day."

I HAVE TO CONFESS, IT WAS my daughter who introduced me to A Christmas Story, the movie about Ralphie Parker's quest for the BB gun even Santa thinks is a bad idea: "You'll shoot your eye out, kid." She asked for a copy several Christmases ago and, for a while, I thought she had had a conversion experience and was asking for a dramatization of the Nativity. My feelings were kind of hurt. I'd prided myself in my comprehensive management of the cultural literacy in the house - we had covered the classics from Sleeping Beauty to West Side Story - and here was a phenomenon that had gotten right by me. Now, thanks to TBS' annual 24-hour Christmas Story marathon that has begun each Christmas Eve for more than a decade, the movie is as much a fixture of our holiday as the ham after Mass and my husband's late-night gift-wrapping frenzy.

Yolonda Booker hadn't meant to wait until the last minute to buy her mother's Christmas gift. She'd already wrapped the foot and back massagers she had bought for her, as well as the shawl. But for the woman who raised her and who takes care of her 10-year-old daughter, Aeriel, while she finishes her college courses, Booker decided she needed to give a little something more. Yolonda and Aeriel found themselves in the Macy's handbag section at Towson Town Center yesterday afternoon, picking through Coach and Dooney & Bourke wristlets - tiny purses that have been hot sellers this holiday season.

While congregating around the home hearth with all the relatives may be a holiday tradition, an increasing number of adventurous folks are seeking new ways -- and places -- to celebrate. Travel operators are offering a slew of Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year's trips around the world trimmed with festivities that accent the holiday spirit.Savor Christmas dining Cajun-style in Louisiana, biking through northern California's wine country or making a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. Ring in the new year horse-packing into the Grand Canyon, cruising the Caribbean, or enjoying a black-tie ball and caviar tastings in St. Petersburg, Russia.

Ask the average Englishman to name the foods of Christmas and he'll come up with mincemeat, Christmas cake, and Christmas pudding. The first is for mince pies and tarts, eaten with a bit of nippy cheese for tea or supper. The second, a fruitcake all iced and decorated, is served with afternoon tea.Only Christmas pudding is part of the main meal, Christmas dinner. When all the turkey or goose, the mashed potatoes, Brussels sprouts, gravy, et al. have been cleared away, the Christmas pudding is borne to the dinner table, a blazing triumph.