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Children Of Divorce

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By Mary Corey | November 15, 1990
Some things in life a man never forgets. For Brian Barke, those include his first girlfriend, his bar mitzvah -- and the day his parents split up."It's like the day Kennedy was shot," says Mr. Barke, who was 18 when his parents' marriage ended nearly five years ago. "You can remember everything about it."My dad came in to my room and said, 'I've got to tell you something.' He lowered the radio. My brother Steve came over and sat on my bed. It felt like we were kids again. There we were, grown men sitting on a bed, as if my dad were going to tell us, 'You have to stay in tonight.
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By Clarence Page | November 15, 2002
WASHINGTON -- Jennifer Lopez must love weddings. She has so many of them. Having just shed her latest marriage, lo and behold, it's time for J. Lo's friends to start buying gifts for her next one. Ms. Lopez has confirmed in an interview with ABC's Diane Sawyer that the big pink diamond ring on her finger does indeed mean that she and her latest sweetie, film star Ben Affleck, plan to tie the knot. This will be a first marriage for Ben, 30, and the third for J. Lo, 32, in the past four years.
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By Peter Jensen and Peter Jensen,Sun Staff | September 10, 2000
For anyone who thinks that children suffer only mildly or briefly when their parents divorce, Judith S. Wallerstein has some very bad news. Not only is the emotional damage long-lasting but its full effects may also not be realized until the children of divorce reach adulthood -- and suffer a host of setbacks when they confront marriage, child-rearing and, often, their own divorces. In a just-released book, "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study" (Hyperion, $24.95)
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By T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. and By T. Berry Brazelton, M.D.,NEW YORK TIMES SPECIAL FEATURES | September 30, 2001
Q. I have 8-year-old and 4-year-old daughters who are as different as night and day. About a year ago, I separated from their father, then got divorced. He was a lousy father who never spent any time with them alone. The girls and I now live in a house by ourselves. Their father gets them Tuesday and Thursday for about two hours and Sunday from noon to 9 p.m. He has a live-in girlfriend but claims they are just friends. The 8-year-old is afraid to spend the night with Daddy and doesn't even like to go over there.
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By T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. and T. Berry Brazelton, M.D.,NEW YORK TIMES SPECIAL FEATURES | June 14, 1998
Q.My husband and I divorced when our son was 2. My son and I moved away from his father (to a different state) just before his fifth birthday. He has visited his dad several times and speaks to him regularly by phone. He is also aware that Dad sends money to help support him.I have not remarried and don't have a significant other in my life. Sometimes when my son is playing with my sister's boyfriend, he calls him Daddy. Should I be concerned, or is this a normal way of expressing his need to have a father around?
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By Cal Thomas | June 6, 1997
WASHINGTON -- The biggest cover-up in the last quarter-century has nothing to do with Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton or even politics. It has been the cover-up about the impact divorce has had on a generation of children.Now that cover has been blown by the release of a lengthy study of middle- and upper-middle-class families from Marin County, California, by Judith Wallerstein, a psychologist and divorce-research expert, and Julia Lewis, a psychology professor San Francisco State University.
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By Mona Charen | February 19, 1996
WASHINGTON -- By little baby steps, Americans are seeking to undo the Age of Aquarius. Michigan, Idaho, Georgia, Iowa and Pennsylvania are considering a repeal of their ''no-fault divorce'' laws.Easy divorce was part of the '60s push for individual autonomy above all else. The unstated assumption was that marriage is an institution for adults, aimed at achieving adult happiness. If it isn't making both partners happy, why not permit divorce? It did provide some adults with more freedom, but it has cost children and society dearly.
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By T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. and By T. Berry Brazelton, M.D.,NEW YORK TIMES SPECIAL FEATURES | September 30, 2001
Q. I have 8-year-old and 4-year-old daughters who are as different as night and day. About a year ago, I separated from their father, then got divorced. He was a lousy father who never spent any time with them alone. The girls and I now live in a house by ourselves. Their father gets them Tuesday and Thursday for about two hours and Sunday from noon to 9 p.m. He has a live-in girlfriend but claims they are just friends. The 8-year-old is afraid to spend the night with Daddy and doesn't even like to go over there.
NEWS
By Clarence Page | November 15, 2002
WASHINGTON -- Jennifer Lopez must love weddings. She has so many of them. Having just shed her latest marriage, lo and behold, it's time for J. Lo's friends to start buying gifts for her next one. Ms. Lopez has confirmed in an interview with ABC's Diane Sawyer that the big pink diamond ring on her finger does indeed mean that she and her latest sweetie, film star Ben Affleck, plan to tie the knot. This will be a first marriage for Ben, 30, and the third for J. Lo, 32, in the past four years.
FEATURES
By SUSAN REIMER | October 2, 1994
There is great pain in divorce. I know because that pain has been heaped upon me like cord wood on a bonfire -- the bonfire divorced women and their children would like to light around my bound ankles.A few weeks ago, I wrote that if parents, tortured by vague disaffections, walk away from their marriages, it will devastate their children. I quoted studies begun in the 1960s that followed children for many years and found -- in contradiction to what many had thought -- that most suffer wounds from which they do not recover even as adults.
NEWS
By Ellen Goodman | October 2, 2000
BOSTON -- This is what it comes down to in the world of divorce: irreconcilable differences. I'm not talking just about the conflicts between husbands and wives. I'm talking about the contradictory ways in which our entire culture views the breakup of a marriage. When the marriage of a friend, a son or a sister shatters, we wish this husband or wife another shot at happiness. We believe in the possibility of a second chance. Yet if they have children, we have an equal and opposite wish.
NEWS
By Peter Jensen and Peter Jensen,Sun Staff | September 10, 2000
For anyone who thinks that children suffer only mildly or briefly when their parents divorce, Judith S. Wallerstein has some very bad news. Not only is the emotional damage long-lasting but its full effects may also not be realized until the children of divorce reach adulthood -- and suffer a host of setbacks when they confront marriage, child-rearing and, often, their own divorces. In a just-released book, "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study" (Hyperion, $24.95)
NEWS
May 22, 1999
Children of divorce need access to all caring parentsThere are about 400,000 children of divorce in Maryland, and their chances of obtaining good parenting are diminished by the adversarial, contentious nature of many divorce proceedings.Their situation could be improved if the Maryland legislature would pass bills making it easier for them to see their parents, and if judges would honor this basic need of children.Unfortunately, such proposals are usually defeated.In the recent Maryland General Assembly session, for instance, a bill was introduced by Sen. Norman Stone Jr. of Baltimore County to allow a parent whose access to his or her child had been blocked by the other parent to recover attorney's fees.
FEATURES
By Peter Jensen and Peter Jensen,Sun Staff | December 6, 1998
Bart and Diane Sickles had always been willing to make sacrifices for their daughter, but when they divorced, their parental devotion was put to the test: They had to learn to celebrate the holidays without her."The first year or two were really difficult," said Bart Sickles, 44, a structural engineer living in Johnstown, Pa. "I had a lot to learn."Diane Sickles, 44, a Gaithersburg resident and manager of a statistical research firm, will have custody of the couple's 17-year-old daughter, Jennifer, this Christmas under the family's alternating holiday schedule.
FEATURES
By T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. and T. Berry Brazelton, M.D.,NEW YORK TIMES SPECIAL FEATURES | June 14, 1998
Q.My husband and I divorced when our son was 2. My son and I moved away from his father (to a different state) just before his fifth birthday. He has visited his dad several times and speaks to him regularly by phone. He is also aware that Dad sends money to help support him.I have not remarried and don't have a significant other in my life. Sometimes when my son is playing with my sister's boyfriend, he calls him Daddy. Should I be concerned, or is this a normal way of expressing his need to have a father around?
NEWS
By ELLEN GOODMAN | December 23, 1997
BOSTON -- My young friend was barely 8 when she figured out the fine points of her family's interfaith holiday. ''On Christmas,'' explained the young theologian, ''they put the presents under the tree. On Hanukkah, they don't have a tree, so they put the presents on the table.''Not every child is, of course, quite that comfortable with different traditions. This season, that begins with a celebration of Buddha's enlightenment on Dec. 8 and ends with the first day of Ramadan on Dec. 30, is enough to rachet up the stress for a growing number of children.
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By SUSAN REIMER | August 30, 1994
My husband and I renewed our wedding vows not long ago with a small church service that included the children of our union.Jessie and I bought special dresses and carried tiny bouquets. Joe got a new outfit and carried the rings as my husband and I pledged our love.There was a reception, complete with presents, champagne and a big cake. My husband and I went on a second honeymoon and returned with presents.None of this made any impression on the kids, because they continue to ask if their father and I are going to get divorced.
NEWS
By Sara M. Engram and Sara M. Engram,Sun Staff | April 7, 1996
"The Abolition of Marriage: How We Lost the Right to a Lasting Love," by Maggie Gallagher. Regnery Publishing, Inc. 300 pages; $24.95For an electorate loudly denouncing an "underclass" of unmarried mothers, impoverished children and restless adolescents with little chance of finding law-abiding roles in society, Maggie Gallagher has a stark message: Look in the mirror.If the instability of the underclass is spreading blight in the cities and making its influence felt beyond those boundaries, parallel forces cheered on by the elite are undermining the social fabric in the rest of society.
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By JANE MEREDITH ADAMS and JANE MEREDITH ADAMS,SUN STAFF | July 14, 1997
BELVEDERE, Calif. -- At 75, Judith Wallerstein calls herself a tribal elder. The tribe she heads is extraordinary in the annals of psychological research -- 131 children of divorce she has followed for 25 years. Sitting on her sofa in a denim skirt and white blouse, with her stocking feet curled under her, Wallerstein says she serves as a "picture album" for these children, who are now grown."The remarkable thing is I have them all in my head," she says. "I remember every dream, every fantasy.
NEWS
By Andrew J. Cherlin | July 9, 1997
EMOTIONALLY scarred adults, unable to shake the effects of their parents' divorces. Twenty-somethings so afraid of repeating their parents' mistakes that they hesitate to marry. These are the images in a 25-year report, issued last month, on the best-known study of the effects of divorce on children.The author, Judith Wallerstein, has been following children from 60 Northern California divorced families since 1971. Throughout the study -- and most famously at the 15-year mark in a best-selling book co-authored with writer Sandra Blakeslee -- her conclusions have been almost completely negative.
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