Candice Bergen

So what I come up with, after plowing through Dan Quayle's statements of the last two days and the last four years, is a choice -- Quayle's Choice for Single Women Who Get Pregnant: Don't Have An Abortion or Don't Have The Baby.It's that simple.Except that there's probably a third choice in Quayle's stream -- or is it puddle? -- of consciousness: Get Married.So let's make that Quayle's Choice For Single Women Who Get Pregnant: Don't Have An Abortion or Don't Have A Baby or Don't Let The Father Get Away.

Almost exactly 20 years ago, Barbara Dafoe Whitehead wrote a controversial essay for The Atlantic titled "Dan Quayle Was Right. " In case you forgot (or never knew), let me fill you in on what Mr. Quayle was right about. There once was a popular sitcom called "Murphy Brown. " The title character, played by Candice Bergen, was a news anchor. The show had its moments, but it was also insufferably pleased with itself and its liberalism. At least until the arrival of the Aaron Sorkin oeuvre ("The West Wing," "The Newsroom")

Chances are you've never seen one of his films, and chances are you never will, but that doesn't make filmmaker Henry Jaglom any less intriguing.Jaglom makes films that he loves, that his actors love (probably because he has developed a reputation as an auteur's auteur) and that his audiences find odd. All of which seems fine with Jaglom, as "Who Is Henry Jaglom?" shows.H. Alex Rubin and Jeremy Workman's documentary, airing as part of the ever-unpredicable independent film showcase "P.O.V."

A movie about June weddings - why open it in the depths of January? The studio probably hopes that the bloom of New York (actually, Boston) in fair weather would lift moviegoers' hearts. Nothing else in this desperately unfunny farce would do it. Bride Wars has possibly the worst comedy idea since Springtime for Hitler, with almost no room for redeeming camp. Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway play Liv and Emma, inseparable friends for 20 years who've also fantasized about getting married at the Plaza Hotel for 20 years.

PASADENA, Calif. - Candice Bergen, whose Murphy Brown character was attacked by Dan Quayle during the 1992 election campaign, responded to Quayle's recent remarks in support of the family values he perceived in MTV's The Osbournes. "That Dan," Bergen said, shaking her head and smiling. "You just can't predict him." Bergen is at the summer 2002 Television Critics Association press tour this week talking about her new Oxygen cable series Candice Checks It Out, which launches Aug. 18. A follow-up to her previous Oxygen series, Exhale, this new effort has Bergen spending time with people whom, for one reason or another, she finds compelling.

I checked the calendar today and realized that Halloween is only two weeks away.Needless to say, the mere thought of this ghoulish event sends shivers up and down my spine.These shivers have absolutely nothing to do with ghosts and goblins, but are a direct result of my children's need for costumes -- costumes that require fabric, zippers, emblems and an artistic ability to put all the pieces together.As readers of this column, you must be aware by now that I am a self-proclaimed flunkie when it comes to creative crafts.

Tonight's schedule includes two new television movies, each of which fails for a different reason.* "I'll Fly Away" (8-9 p.m., WETA, Channel 26) -- Forrest (Sam Waterston) retreats to a forest for a weekend fishing trip. PBS.* "Ghost Mom" (8-10 p.m., WBFF, Channel 45) -- Dave Thomas of "SCTV," and now of "Grace Under Fire," directed and co-wrote this comedy-drama fantasy, in which Jean Stapleton plays a meddling mom who remains meddling after she dies. Geraint Wyn Davies, who played a member of the undead on TV's "Forever Knight," plays a normal mortal here, the guy whose mother constantly hovers about.

ON AND OFF THE AIR:* Maryland Public Television tonight begins airing "The Business Owners," a seven-week series of half-hour programs focusing on successful black business owners. The series previously aired on some other PBS stations, and it was produced by Gloria Borland Media Inc. of Washington.First up tonight (at 7:30) is a profile of Baltimore's Raymond Haysbert, chief executive officer of the Parks Sausage Co.The grandson of slaves, he was born in Cincinnati and his first job was as a junk dealer.

The good news is, tonight's Monday monotony is broken somewhat by a two-episode helping of "The X-Files." The bad news is, both episodes are repeats -- as are most of the other worthwhile offerings on TV tonight.* "The X-Files." (8 p.m.-10 p.m., WBFF, Channel 45) -- Two good episodes are recycled tonight, giving this Friday-night Fox fixture a Monday-night berth. In the first episode, there's a mystery surrounding the space-shuttle program; in the second, a case of possible personality projection regarding a suddenly sinister young girl.

ON AND OFF THE AIR:* Regular viewers know that the network weekday morning shows are among the most important promotional vehicles for new movies. It's pretty outrageous, in fact. Toward the end of every week, the stars or big-name directors of that weekend's film releases are all over the place on NBC's "Today," ABC's "Good Morning America" and "CBS This Morning."However, occasionally things backfire.Today's scheduled guest on "GMA," for example, was actor Bruce Willis, whose big, expensive new movie "Hudson Hawk" is opening this weekend.

CBS has a long and rich history of comedic leading ladies. Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett and Mary Tyler Moore are TV Hall of Famers on the strength of shows bearing their names. Bea Arthur (Maude) and Candice Bergen (Murphy Brown) had long-running CBS hits driven by their title characters. Lately, though, women have been in the passenger seats on CBS' few remaining sitcoms. King of Queens and Still Standing are built around tubby Dads, How I Met Your Mother is male-centric and the title of Two and a Half Men speaks for itself.

PASADENA, Calif. - Candice Bergen, whose Murphy Brown character was attacked by Dan Quayle during the 1992 election campaign, responded to Quayle's recent remarks in support of the family values he perceived in MTV's The Osbournes. "That Dan," Bergen said, shaking her head and smiling. "You just can't predict him." Bergen is at the summer 2002 Television Critics Association press tour this week talking about her new Oxygen cable series Candice Checks It Out, which launches Aug. 18. A follow-up to her previous Oxygen series, Exhale, this new effort has Bergen spending time with people whom, for one reason or another, she finds compelling.

Poor Gracie Hart. She's spent her life trying to be one of the boys, learning to swear, drink and fight like the brother you wish you'd had around for protection. Now, as an FBI agent, she gets to put all that training to good use. And the undercover assignment the bureau figures she's perfect for? Beauty pageant contestant. Sandra Bullock gets to try her hand at slapstick in "Miss Congeniality," a lightweight and generally amusing farce that skewers the world of both beauty shows and those who ridicule them.

Come on, you didn't really think the new job at the White House that Murphy Brown (Candice Bergen) accepted at the end of last season was going to work out, did you?Of course not. But who would have thought she'd last less than an hour with the Clintons and have to come crawling back to "FYI" and executive producer Kay Carter-Shepley (Lily Tomlin)?"So what happened, Murph? Was it something you stole, something you spilled or something you said?" Frank (Joe Regalbuto) asks her gleefully."Wow, the trifecta," he shouts in response to Murphy's uncharacteristic silence.

Chances are you've never seen one of his films, and chances are you never will, but that doesn't make filmmaker Henry Jaglom any less intriguing.Jaglom makes films that he loves, that his actors love (probably because he has developed a reputation as an auteur's auteur) and that his audiences find odd. All of which seems fine with Jaglom, as "Who Is Henry Jaglom?" shows.H. Alex Rubin and Jeremy Workman's documentary, airing as part of the ever-unpredicable independent film showcase "P.O.V."

What I want to know is: Why is it important to have visible stomach muscles?I grew up in an era (the Paleolithic) when people kept their stomach muscles discreetly out of sight. Most of us didn't even realize we had stomach muscles; the only people who ever actually saw them were courageous surgeons willing to cut through fat layers the thickness of the Cleveland White Pages.I'm not saying we weren't in shape; I'm just saying we had a different concept of what the shape should be. For example, our idea of a stud-muffin prototype male was somebody along the lines of George Reeves, who starred in the black-and-white TV version of "Superman," playing the role of the mild-mannered newspaper reporter Clark Kent, whom nobody ever suspected of being Superman because he disguised himself by wearing glasses.

ON AND OFF THE AIR:* With the first California execution in 25 years in the headlines just last week (of convicted double murderer Robert Alton Harris), NBC has an unusually timely made-for-television movie tonight."In the Shadow of a Killer" stars Scott Bakula ("Quantum Leap") as a policeman who opposes capital punishment. And his moral stance brings him into conflict with fellow officers when he apprehends a suspect in the murder of another police officer.Of course, things get mixed up when Bakula's character also becomes the apparent target of a mob contract.

ON AND OFF THE AIR:* Many of the target viewers of the Nickelodeon cable network for kids cannot even remember when there was a Baltimore Colts football team, let alone know the names of some of the greatest Colts of all.Nevertheless, a Colt-blue angle arises tonight in "The Adventures of Pete & Pete," a regular youth comedy series (at 6 o'clock).In an episode titled "Space, Geeks and Johnny Unitas," Pete (Danny Tamborelli) decides to write a school paper about his hero, Colts quarterback Unitas.

"Hi, I'm Murphy Brown, and you must be my new secretary," Murphy says to the guy in the dark suit, sitting head down at the desk outside her office.But it's not just the latest entry in her secretarial sweepstakes. The guy looks up, and it's -- gasp! -- John F. Kennedy Jr., smiling in all his People magazine glory.You have to hand it to "Murphy Brown." No prime-time television series since "All in the Family" has done a better job of playing American political life for both satire and ratings sizzle.

I checked the calendar today and realized that Halloween is only two weeks away.Needless to say, the mere thought of this ghoulish event sends shivers up and down my spine.These shivers have absolutely nothing to do with ghosts and goblins, but are a direct result of my children's need for costumes -- costumes that require fabric, zippers, emblems and an artistic ability to put all the pieces together.As readers of this column, you must be aware by now that I am a self-proclaimed flunkie when it comes to creative crafts.