Calm Down

Despite everything we've ever said to convince you otherwise, you still would just die to be on the cover of a fashion magazine. Well, calm down. Seventeen magazine is offering eager women ages 13 to 21 the opportunity to grace the cover of the October issue.Model wannabees should pick up applications at JC Penney department stores. Applications must be returned by March 16. Eight finalists will be flown to New York and appear in the October issue. The winner will be on the cover.

This episode's title couldn't be more accurate. Snooki was a complete hormonal b-----.  Granted I feel guilty talking about a fellow female in her pregnant state, but she definitely was a bit more uptight compared to her former crazy party-girl self.  JWOWW takes her two pups, Bella and Noel to K9garten to get some obedience training so that they stop peeing and pooping all over their new apartment.   While checking out the place, Snooki...

Things are starting to calm down around the Fort Lauderdale spring training complex, which means it's almost time to break out my giant collection of aloha shirts and start sampling some of the great tourist attractions in South Florida. My first stop may be the Sawgrass Recreation Park, where you can take a tour of the Everglades in an airboat that glides through the sawgrass (hence the name of the park) and occasionally brains one of the alligators that's minding its business and waiting for the odd man overboard.

He walked the No. 8 hitter and the No. 9 hitter, both with two outs, and by the time the bottom of the second finally ended, Orioles starter Jake Arrieta had thrown 35 pitches in the inning and appeared to be on his way to a short night. But rediscovering his command and showing no signs of the hip soreness that affected him in his last start, Arrieta settled in and delivered one of the best outings of his young career, retiring 15 of the final 16 hitters he faced and allowing just one run and three hits over seven innings.

And your backside didn't look so great, either. Now take off, Mr. Carrot-Top, Mr. Dump-Us-After-One-Lousy-Year, Mr. Hope-You-Choke-On-Your-Emmy . . .(Calm down. Breathe deeply. Now, start over.)Seriously, we all want to wish David Caruso the best darn luck in the movies. Mr. Caruso played Det. John Kelly on the most highly acclaimed drama on television, "NYPD Blue." With all the media fanfare of, say, someone leaving in a white Bronco, Mr. Caruso is leaving "NYPD Blue" after one season.He wants to make movies and more money.

County police arrested a Suitland man Sunday on charges of stealing $826 worth of clothing from an Annapolis department store and butting an officer during a struggle.Calvin Anthony Dixon, 32, of the 3900 block of Regency Parkway was charged with felony theft, battery, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct.Kim Basciano, a security guard for the store in the 100 block of Jennifer Road, called police shortly before 3 p.m. when he observed a man stuffing men's clothing into a large shopping bag, police said.

This frail doddering beast we call civilization takes another kick in the groin in the savagely disappointing "House Party 3," featuring the heretofore amusing rappers Kid 'n Play.The two young men (Christopher Reid and Christopher Martin) have been agreeable presences in the first two items in this series, particularly the first, which was directed by Reginald Hudlin and had a sly, off-handed charm to it.The second was unmemorably routine. This one is actually offensive.Basically conceived as lame farce, it watches as the decent, about-to-be-married Kid tries to assemble a bachelor's party for himself on the eve of the ceremony.

Q: I'm 31, never been married, but want to be. She's 33, divorced seven years, with a child. We met at the gym and get along extremely well, with common interests and backgrounds.Things went well for the first few weeks, but now she has a child-support case coming up, and the closer it comes, the more withdrawn and cold she becomes. She won't touch or kiss me. This happened overnight. And now she's beginning to make excuses for not seeing me. She has totally withdrawn from everyone.After three weeks of this, I was convinced she didn't want to see me, but I couldn't get her to say it. I felt crushed by her actions and when I asked her about them, she would say there's nothing to talk about.

Calm down.Forget that the Maryland men are ranked No. 7 in the country. Forget their upset of Massachusetts in last season's NCAA tournament. Forget they even made the Sweet 16.Hoops to hype, hype to hysteria.Let these kids breathe.Calm down.The Terps might indeed be the seventh-best team in college basketball. They might even be better than that. But the expectations are growing rather suffocating, don't you think?Ten minutes of basketball, that's what the AP ranking is based on. Ten amazing minutes against Massachusetts.

COLLEGE PARK -- Gary Williams visits his doctors tonight."I'm sure they'll tell me I can coach," Williams said. "If they don't, it doesn't matter."He's back!Same old spunk.Same old fire.Same old Gary Williams.What did you expect, Mr. Mellow?Williams is going to yell. Williams is going to scream. Williams is going to coach his team."I'm over 21," he said last night. "What are they going to do?"All right, he's still not 100 percent. He needs to gain back 10-12 pounds. And he needs to take this day by day, lest he get run down again.

News item: The offseason is heading into its second month, and the Orioles have given little indication whether they will (a) sign Mark Teixeira or A.J. Burnett; (b) get a contract extension completed with Nick Markakis; or (c) trade or re-sign Brian Roberts. My take : The natives are understandably restless, but it's still early. Andy MacPhail came here with a reputation for being a deliberate, careful administrator. Now he's under fire for not falling into the same kind of knee-jerk, reactionary mind-set that got the Orioles into this mess.

The Beatles may have sang that all you need is love, but when it comes to disobedient and dangerous mutts, Cesar Millan firmly yet calmly disagrees. "America loves dogs - like no other country in the world. They throw birthday parties for dogs," says Millan, who will present a dog-behavior seminar tomorrow afternoon at the Hippodrome Theatre. "Teaching America affection for a dog is not what I do. What I do teach is exercise, discipline and affection." If you go Cesar Millan will speak at 2 p.m. tomorrow at the Hippodrome Theatre, 12 N. Eutaw St. Call 410-837-7400 or go to france-merrickpac.

Seattle -- Sam Perlozzo put his arms on Daniel Cabrera's shoulders and pleaded with the pitcher to stay focused. Cabrera had already given up four runs when he stomped back to the visiting dugout at Safeco Field after the second. He was angry and frustrated, and so were the Orioles, who had lost five straight games and trailed by four runs with an exhausted bullpen and a makeshift lineup at their disposal. "The ballclub needs you," Perlozzo told Cabrera as the two faced each other. "You got to be a man now."

Orioles pitcher Brian Burres saved a ball from his first major league start last weekend. He has time to embellish its importance, whether it involves a milestone strikeout total or a victory. "I can make that stuff up later," he said, grinning. Burres didn't get the win Sunday, not after allowing five runs in 3 2/3 innings. But he is scheduled to receive another chance tonight in Boston. "I feel a little better coming into this one," he said. "I've been working in the bullpen and I feel like I'm getting myself under better control and doing what I need to do."

There are bodies inches to the left and the right, the temperature is climbing, and the sweat is starting to pour down. Nearby, candles flicker, and a rhythmic beat pulses throughout the small studio. Carey Nagoda sucks in a deep breath and plunges into another set of stretches and poses. It's late on a Sunday afternoon, and this how she unwinds from her weekend. For the past year, Nagoda has been making an almost weekly ritual of a hot-yoga class at Charm City studio in Mount Vernon.

Things are starting to calm down around the Fort Lauderdale spring training complex, which means it's almost time to break out my giant collection of aloha shirts and start sampling some of the great tourist attractions in South Florida. My first stop may be the Sawgrass Recreation Park, where you can take a tour of the Everglades in an airboat that glides through the sawgrass (hence the name of the park) and occasionally brains one of the alligators that's minding its business and waiting for the odd man overboard.

As the clock reached zero, the celebration was on. One by one the Morgan State starters went airborne, eventually winding up on the press table. On the other side of the court, Bears coach Chris Fuller walked off, openly weeping.In recent years Morgan has come close to beating Coppin, but the Bears had not recorded a win over the Eagles since the first round of the 1994 Mid-Eastern Athletic Conference tournament. Morgan's eight-game losing streak to Coppin came to an end last night in a 67-66 overtime thriller before an overflowing crowd of 3,211 at the Coppin Center.

WASHINGTON - Ah, excuse me, but could we all just calm down here? What started as a story about how the Bush team handled unspecific warnings about possible terrorist attacks in the United States before Sept. 11 has now prompted the Bushies not only to defend themselves from charges of irresponsibility - which they are entitled to do - but to go on a binge of Chicken Little warnings that another attack is imminent, inevitable and around the corner, but we can't tell you when, where or how. Look, in the wake of Sept.

The major weakness in the San Diego Chargers became even more glaring Sunday night. A lot of the experts have already penciled the Chargers into the Super Bowl if they have home-field advantage in the playoffs, but there are still a lot of reservations about San Diego quarterback Philip Rivers, a first-year starter. Rivers completed eight of 23 passes for 97 yards with two interceptions in the Chargers' 20-9 victory over the Kansas City Chiefs. Every player has a bad game, but Rivers had a meltdown.

Waldorf -- Even defending state champions get a little nervous when they reach the state volleyball tournament. Top-ranked Centennial did last night at North Point High School, but the jitters didn't last long for the Eagles. The Eagles shook their nerves near the end of the first game, a 25-22 victory over North Carroll, and went on to sweep the Panthers in three games, the last two by 25-16, 25-11. Strong hitting, featuring four Eagles with seven or more kills each, and the typical Centennial counterattack on defense returned the Eagles to the Class 3A state final at 6:30 p.m. tomorrow vs. Huntingtown at Ritchie Coliseum in College Park.