Cabbage Patch

ROCK HILL, S.C. -- When Gail Spears got the call from her daughter's day care center on the day after Christmas, she couldn't quite believe her ears."I thought, 'This is so silly,' " Spears said yesterday. "'A doll attached to her head?' "But it didn't seem silly when Spears arrived at the Sunshine House and discovered that the doll was trying to make a meal out of 7-year-old Hanna -- one of at least five girls nationwide who have gotten more than they bargained for with the Cabbage Patch Snack Time Kid.Hanna had asked Santa Claus for the smiling, apple-cheeked doll that chews plastic french fries and licorice sticks.

Who knows how George Clooney won Stacy Keibler's heart, but 27 years ago, winning over young Stacy could be done with a Cabbage Patch and a Pound Puppy. On Christmas Day, Keibler shared with her Twitter followers a letter she wrote to Santa in 1985, when she was just a tot. Unassuming, even then, it didn't take much to make the Baltimore girl happy. She wanted Cabbage Patch twins, a Cabbage Patch bike and -- holy girl power -- a Princess of Power Castle. She also hoped Santa -- if he wasn't too busy -- could throw in a tape recorder and a pound puppy.

Who knows how George Clooney won Stacy Keibler's heart, but 27 years ago, winning over young Stacy could be done with a Cabbage Patch and a Pound Puppy. On Christmas Day, Keibler shared with her Twitter followers a letter she wrote to Santa in 1985, when she was just a tot. Unassuming, even then, it didn't take much to make the Baltimore girl happy. She wanted Cabbage Patch twins, a Cabbage Patch bike and -- holy girl power -- a Princess of Power Castle. She also hoped Santa -- if he wasn't too busy -- could throw in a tape recorder and a pound puppy.

We're having a baby. By "we," I mean my daughter and her husband. A new baby means, of course, a new child-safety seat for the car. I've been using an old Cabbage Patch doll to make sure I know how this new car seat works. (Remember Cabbage Patch dolls? This one was my daughter's, which my wife insisted we save, in the warehouse we call a basement, for our grandchildren.) The car seat comes with a 68-page manual. The one we got our own kids years ago had, I think, a sticker that said, "Insert baby here," with an arrow: "This end up. " The seat we just bought is a top-of-the-line Britax (pronounced with a long "i")

It's summertime.I know because my mailbox suddenly is filled with missives from skin care companies and dermatologists' organizations offering dire warnings about unprotected sun worship.The decision to tan or not is a personal one and probably because I still lust in my heart for a golden tan -- I try not to judge hard-core tanners too harshly.I figure part of being an adult is having the right to make our own decisions, even if they're bad for us.(Despite the current hoo-ha over the return of the pale complexion, tans are hardly out of style; only the actual tanning is. Our collective lingering desire to go for the gold is why self-tanning creams are selling so well.

REMEMBER the Cabbage Patch Kid craze of the early 1980s? The dolls were in such demand that there was a constant shortage on the shelves. Kids everywhere could be seen carrying their dolls with them. There was even a Cabbage Patch Kids cartoon.Today, Cabbage Patch Kids are virtually unheard of. Instead, a new craze is creeping in. It's on key chains, earrings, necklaces, car --boards and pencil erasers. People suction them to windows and dress them in outfits like their own.Why it's the Norfin Trolls -- gnome-like, flesh-toned dolls with beady eyes, stiff neon hair, flat noses and three fingers on each hand.

The old formula of using a comely young lady to sell a shiny new car may not be the sure-fire winner it used to be, according to a survey of sex and advertising done for American Demographics magazine.The survey, which was done by Maritz Marketing Research in Fenton, Mo., found that 40 percent of the women polled said they might decide not to buy a product simply because of the sexual content of its advertising. Of the men, 29 percent said they are turned off enough by advertising sex to pass up a product.

They are called "Dottie's Dolls" -- little babies as individual as Cabbage Patch Kids preemies, only smaller, birthed from muslin cloth instead of the cabbage patch.Each clutches a familiar soother, a blanket, a pacifier, or its own baby doll.Each handmade member of the "Dottie's Dolls" collection has its own identity.Their parents are sisters. Lorie Dungan and Dawn Hof, local artisans, created the dolls as a tribute to their departed mother, Dottie Morlock.Dottie would have been proud.The dolls are just the tip of the creative iceberg for these talented sisters.

Long before Tickle Me Elmo cleared store shelves in a blink and prompted parents to offer hundreds of dollars to lucky buyers, he was just a red plush toy living with a former child genius who claims he once was a Unabomber suspect.Mark Johnson-Williams -- who taught himself advanced math before he hit puberty and began working his way through college at age 14 by picking up construction jobs -- created the voice of the season's hottest gift."My kids don't know any different. They think this is normal," said Johnson-Williams of Tyler, 8, Nathan, 10, and Lauren, 12, whose friends do not want to go home after they've seen the heaps of toys, including Elmo, a fluffy red Sesame Street character that vibrates and giggles incessantly when its belly is squeezed.

"Don we now our Cal apparel, fa-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la "The telephone rings at Stadium Sports and store manager Pat Zimnawoda answers. The caller wants socks. But not just any socks. Socks bearing the cosmic number 2,131, socks that stand for a grand moment in baseball history. Cal socks."No, no we don't" have such socks, says Ms. Zimnawoda.A shame. It is Christmas season, after all, the first Christmas since the number 2,131 became emblematic of That Night, The Victory Lap, Cal waving amid popping flashbulbs and throngs of weepy men. The first snow has dusted Camden Yards, yet someone still wants Cal socks, perhaps for a holiday gift.

NEW YORK - Swinging in the cab of the Ferris wheel, flanked by Geoffrey the Toys `R' Us giraffe and E.T. the extraterrestrial, Gregory R. Staley surveyed three levels of a huge toy store in Times Square that tomorrow ushers in a new era for a tired toy retailer. Taking a test ride on a 60-foot-tall, neon-soaked wheel might not fit in a typical day of most company executives. But for Staley, president of Toys `R' Us USA, it's all part of overhauling a toy chain once known more for crammed, warehouse-style aisles than for fun and excitement.

What is there to say about 1997?It was the year a toupeed sportscaster chomped his longtime lover's back.The year a heavyweight boxer -- and ex-con -- bit off a chunk of his opponent's ear during a fight.The year a movie star sunk his teeth into the stomach of a guy during an argument.And the year a seemingly nice woman with bad teeth gave birth to septuplets.So what can you say about 1997?Well, you could call it The Year That Bit.Sports announcer Marv Albert avoided jail on charges of biting his longtime lover on the back.

Long before Tickle Me Elmo cleared store shelves in a blink and prompted parents to offer hundreds of dollars to lucky buyers, he was just a red plush toy living with a former child genius who claims he once was a Unabomber suspect.Mark Johnson-Williams -- who taught himself advanced math before he hit puberty and began working his way through college at age 14 by picking up construction jobs -- created the voice of the season's hottest gift."My kids don't know any different. They think this is normal," said Johnson-Williams of Tyler, 8, Nathan, 10, and Lauren, 12, whose friends do not want to go home after they've seen the heaps of toys, including Elmo, a fluffy red Sesame Street character that vibrates and giggles incessantly when its belly is squeezed.

ROCK HILL, S.C. -- When Gail Spears got the call from her daughter's day care center on the day after Christmas, she couldn't quite believe her ears."I thought, 'This is so silly,' " Spears said yesterday. "'A doll attached to her head?' "But it didn't seem silly when Spears arrived at the Sunshine House and discovered that the doll was trying to make a meal out of 7-year-old Hanna -- one of at least five girls nationwide who have gotten more than they bargained for with the Cabbage Patch Snack Time Kid.Hanna had asked Santa Claus for the smiling, apple-cheeked doll that chews plastic french fries and licorice sticks.

Do I have a problem with fashion consultants teaching Baltimore public works managers how to choose the right tie and shirt as part of an image make-over program? Yeah, OK. I don't like my tax dollars being spent for this stuff, blah blah blah.But there's something else that bothers me -- the idea that the guys in the Department of Public Works are supposed to look like NBA coaches. Come on. I want my guys in DPW to look like Al Bundy or Joey Amalfitano. Give me an ill-fitting sport coat, a tight poly-blend shirt, a bad tie poorly knotted.

"Don we now our Cal apparel, fa-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la "The telephone rings at Stadium Sports and store manager Pat Zimnawoda answers. The caller wants socks. But not just any socks. Socks bearing the cosmic number 2,131, socks that stand for a grand moment in baseball history. Cal socks."No, no we don't" have such socks, says Ms. Zimnawoda.A shame. It is Christmas season, after all, the first Christmas since the number 2,131 became emblematic of That Night, The Victory Lap, Cal waving amid popping flashbulbs and throngs of weepy men. The first snow has dusted Camden Yards, yet someone still wants Cal socks, perhaps for a holiday gift.

What is there to say about 1997?It was the year a toupeed sportscaster chomped his longtime lover's back.The year a heavyweight boxer -- and ex-con -- bit off a chunk of his opponent's ear during a fight.The year a movie star sunk his teeth into the stomach of a guy during an argument.And the year a seemingly nice woman with bad teeth gave birth to septuplets.So what can you say about 1997?Well, you could call it The Year That Bit.Sports announcer Marv Albert avoided jail on charges of biting his longtime lover on the back.

WHAT a difference 30 years can make, as illustrated by a recent Miami Herald story comparing high school proms of 1963 and 1993. Some of the big differences, compiled by Herald reporter Liz Doup:* Transportation -- In 1963, Dad's Ford, Chevy or Plymouth. Sometimes with Mom at the wheel. The cost was gas money. In 1993, six to 12-passenger limos in black or white. Rental cars ranging from the black Lexus to the white Mitsubishi Diamante. Also, "baby" Cadillacs and Lincoln Town Cars in black or white.

They are called "Dottie's Dolls" -- little babies as individual as Cabbage Patch Kids preemies, only smaller, birthed from muslin cloth instead of the cabbage patch.Each clutches a familiar soother, a blanket, a pacifier, or its own baby doll.Each handmade member of the "Dottie's Dolls" collection has its own identity.Their parents are sisters. Lorie Dungan and Dawn Hof, local artisans, created the dolls as a tribute to their departed mother, Dottie Morlock.Dottie would have been proud.The dolls are just the tip of the creative iceberg for these talented sisters.

The old formula of using a comely young lady to sell a shiny new car may not be the sure-fire winner it used to be, according to a survey of sex and advertising done for American Demographics magazine.The survey, which was done by Maritz Marketing Research in Fenton, Mo., found that 40 percent of the women polled said they might decide not to buy a product simply because of the sexual content of its advertising. Of the men, 29 percent said they are turned off enough by advertising sex to pass up a product.