October 1, 1995
Numbers lie.It's a corny sporting truism that neatly sums up the Orioles' joyless, forgettable season that ends today -- and highlights the general direction their rebuilding should take.The club finished first in the American League in defense, near the top in pitching and near the bottom in hitting. From that, we should conclude that offense, or the lack of it, was chiefly responsible for 3 million fans at Camden Yards having so little to cheer about, right?Wrong.Not that the lack of offense wasn't a problem.
September 6, 2011
I am offended by columnist Leonard Pitts' applause for Rep. Maxine Waters' telling the tea party to "go straight to hell," as well as by letter writer Thad Paulhamus' remark that "the tea party, and by extension, the entire Republican Party with which it is almost unanimously affiliated, has made no secret of its aim to cripple and foreshorten the administration of our current president" - blah, blah, blah. Both comments are specious and irresponsible. I, and 99 percent of my Republican friends, are "affiliated" with the tea party on one issue and one issue only: Out of control congressional spending.
July 2, 2004
A RECENT STUDY in the journal Science concludes that dogs may be able to master vocabularies of up to 200 words. The border collie in the study exhibited advanced reasoning skills, using the process of elimination to figure out the meaning of new words. These findings have the experts pretty excited. I think the reaction of the average dog owner would be either, "See, I told you Fluffy understands every word I say," or, "That study doesn't begin to capture the brilliance of my little Fluffy."
January 7, 1993
Eric Shain thought shorthand sounded like a good class for his senior year.The 17-year-old high school student wants to study medicine at the University of Florida."
November 8, 1992
In a recent column I noted that certain songs are always getting played on the radio, despite the fact that these songs are bad. One example I cited was Neil Diamond's ballad "I Am, I Said," in which Neil complains repeatedly that nobody hears him, "not even the chair." I pointed out that this does not make sense, unless Neil has unusually intelligent furniture.Well, it turns out there are some major Neil Diamond fans out there in Readerland who sent me a large pile of hostile mail. In the interest of fairness, I will summarize their arguments here:"Dear Pukenose:"Just who the hell do you think you are to blah blah a great artist like Neil blah blah more than 20 gold records blah blah how many gold records do you have?
January 5, 2012
Editor: This is a response to the Open Forum article "Being Uncompromising …," which was a response to an editorial "Just like sausage. " Pat [Patrick McGrady], I read both the Dec. 28 editorial and your response to the editorial and I have to say when I read your response all I heard in my head was "blah, blah, blah. " It really had no relationship to what was in the editorial, and was more a rant on how the Republican representatives in Annapolis can't get any of their pork barrel legislation passed because of the mean old Democrats. But I suspect there was an ulterior motive to your article, and here is what I suspect it was. An encrypted cipher within the text which relayed the following message to your Republican cronies… "Hey guys, I tried to get those bills passed that would cut your taxes and put more loopholes in the tax code so you all can make more money on the backs of the middle class, so you all can get that larger yacht and the fourth home in Costa Rica. But those dog-gone Democrats messed it up. Well I'll try again next year!