Batman Returns

Tonight: a few premieres and the return of the Caped Crusader."Boatworks" (5: 30 p.m.-6 p.m., MPT, Channels 22 and 67) -- Robert Urich is host for this new 13-part series from MPT focusing on the myriad types of boats that ply the world's waterways. Tonight's kick-off looks at a classic mahogany runabout on Lake Tahoe, lifesaving boats along the Jersey coast and canoe-like vessels used to harvest wild rice in Minnesota. Boat lovers should enjoy the show, while others may find it all a little too hobby-oriented, although the segment on rice boats offers an interesting look at a vanishing culture.

Twenty-five years ago, one of the major specialties of the Hollywood studios was the stately, tasteful adaptation of a literary work, drawn from a best seller ("The Godfather"), from the stage ("The Lion in Winter") or from the classics reading list ("The Great Gatsby").It was left to the grungy independent outfits, like American-International, New World or Crown, to feed the drive-ins with exploitation films, horror movies and shoot-'em-ups.Today, that relationship has been almost completely reversed.

Twenty-five years ago, one of the major specialties of the Hollywood studios was the stately, tasteful adaptation of a literary work, drawn from a best seller ("The Godfather"), from the stage ("The Lion in Winter") or from the classics reading list ("The Great Gatsby").It was left to the grungy independent outfits, like American-International, New World or Crown, to feed the drive-ins with exploitation films, horror movies and shoot-'em-ups.Today, that relationship has been almost completely reversed.

Always a godmother," laments Fran Liebowitz somewhere in her intermittent oeuvre, "and never a god."Gender adjusted appropriately, it's a cry that many of us have uttered in the secrecy of our minds. And the movies understand that with a commercial zeal.Godhood -- at least in the secular sense of the power of omnipotence and invulnerability, the sense of bringing terrible justice to the world, the sense of having a really great body without working out -- is at the very heart of popular culture, particularly in fantasies of omnipotent males -- "Batman Returns" is only the most recent example -- that the movies have made fortunes exploiting.

East Hampton, New York. -- I walked out of ''Batman Returns'' an angry man, thinking, a bit irrationally, about what a jerk Dan Quayle is. Our boy vice president thinks the country is in trouble because of its dread ''cultural elite.''Wrong, Hoosier; we're in trouble because we don't have a cultural elite.If there were such an elite, it would be someplace around here. They're all on the beach or in the woods or pawing the kiwis and endive at ''The Barefoot Contessa.'' On the weekend, a lot of the men and women who write the songs and books and make the movies the whole world sings, reads and sees were at the six-screener on Main Street paying seven bucks a head to expose their children to what the nation's film critics assured us is high art.Art or not, ''Batman Returns'' is obscure, boring, violent -- and sick.

Angry ParentI became angry reading Richard Reeves' column about taking his 7-year-old to see "Batman Returns." It seemed as if he knew he was to blame, yet couldn't freely admit this as he blamed McDonald's, the need for a common culture, etc.I, too, have a 7-year-old daughter and I am not going to allow her to do things that will harm her. She has been known to plead incessantly to be allowed to cross a busy street alone -- so, I must be steadfast in...

People who can't name the U.S. secretary of state or locate Florida on a map can tell you exactly what they think Pee-wee Herman was doing on the evening of Friday, July 26, 1991, in a porno house in Sarasota, Fla. Some will even remember the name of the theater and what it was showing the day Pee-wee, alias Paul Reubens, was arrested there. (Answers: the South Trail Cinema; "Nancy Nurse," "Turn Up the Heat" and "Tiger Shark.")When the news hit, the TV and movie star's own lawyer pronounced his career dead -- proof that even Hollywood lawyers don't know everything.

"Batman Returns," Warner Bros.' mega-sequel (rumored cost: million), doesn't open until June 19, but already the bat-hype and marketing tie-ins have begun.The follow-up to Tim Burton's 1989 release, the sixth-highest-grossing picture of all time, is considered the movie to beat in the summer box-office race, and the trailer has been wowing audiences with its turbo-charged action sequences, the virtually unrecognizable Danny De Vito in a Penguin get-up, and Michael Keaton and Michelle Pfeiffer's French-kissing-in-funny-costumes scene.

It was an irony almost too trivial to be noticed. But there's no such thing as an irony too trivial for a movie critic, so I couldn't help noticing that exactly as "Batman Returns" was opening and raking in over $47 million in three days, so too, at least in Baltimore, was another film that once boasted a frenzy of hype and high expectations. It may have made $47.This was "Brenda Starr," the Brooke Shields starring vehicle of five years ago, which, for obscure reasons, snuck on little cat's feet into a single venue in a suburban multiplex, unsupported by a single advertisement.

LOS ANGELES -- So who's left to see it next weekend?"Batman Returns," unsurprisingly, swooped into theaters and soared to a box-office record -- $47.7 million, including $2 million for Thursday night sneak previews, for a whopping $18,049 per-screen average. That was half of all the money spent by moviegoers over the weekend.The reception at Warner Bros., which distributed the film, was understandably jubilant. "I was basically one of the more optimistic people around here, and I was looking at $44 million," said Barry Reardon, president of domestic distribution for Warner Bros.

(Warner Bros. Interactive) For Microsoft Windows, PlayStations 2 and 3, PlayStation Portable, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii and Xbox 360. One to two players. Rated E for players 10 and older for cartoon violence. Retail price $49.99. *** game This summer's box-office champ, The Dark Knight, was unleashed with all the merchandising force befitting its mega-blockbuster status. But amid all the Batman action figures and lunchboxes there was one notable omission - a video game. We're still waiting, but for now, Lego Batman: The Videogame will have to suffice.

Tonight: a few premieres and the return of the Caped Crusader."Boatworks" (5: 30 p.m.-6 p.m., MPT, Channels 22 and 67) -- Robert Urich is host for this new 13-part series from MPT focusing on the myriad types of boats that ply the world's waterways. Tonight's kick-off looks at a classic mahogany runabout on Lake Tahoe, lifesaving boats along the Jersey coast and canoe-like vessels used to harvest wild rice in Minnesota. Boat lovers should enjoy the show, while others may find it all a little too hobby-oriented, although the segment on rice boats offers an interesting look at a vanishing culture.

Twenty-five years ago, one of the major specialties of the Hollywood studios was the stately, tasteful adaptation of a literary work, drawn from a best seller ("The Godfather"), from the stage ("The Lion in Winter") or from the classics reading list ("The Great Gatsby").It was left to the grungy independent outfits, like American-International, New World or Crown, to feed the drive-ins with exploitation films, horror movies and shoot-'em-ups.Today, that relationship has been almost completely reversed.

Twenty-five years ago, one of the major specialties of the Hollywood studios was the stately, tasteful adaptation of a literary work, drawn from a best seller ("The Godfather"), from the stage ("The Lion in Winter") or from the classics reading list ("The Great Gatsby").It was left to the grungy independent outfits, like American-International, New World or Crown, to feed the drive-ins with exploitation films, horror movies and shoot-'em-ups.Today, that relationship has been almost completely reversed.

People who can't name the U.S. secretary of state or locate Florida on a map can tell you exactly what they think Pee-wee Herman was doing on the evening of Friday, July 26, 1991, in a porno house in Sarasota, Fla. Some will even remember the name of the theater and what it was showing the day Pee-wee, alias Paul Reubens, was arrested there. (Answers: the South Trail Cinema; "Nancy Nurse," "Turn Up the Heat" and "Tiger Shark.")When the news hit, the TV and movie star's own lawyer pronounced his career dead -- proof that even Hollywood lawyers don't know everything.

Angry ParentI became angry reading Richard Reeves' column about taking his 7-year-old to see "Batman Returns." It seemed as if he knew he was to blame, yet couldn't freely admit this as he blamed McDonald's, the need for a common culture, etc.I, too, have a 7-year-old daughter and I am not going to allow her to do things that will harm her. She has been known to plead incessantly to be allowed to cross a busy street alone -- so, I must be steadfast in...

East Hampton, New York. -- I walked out of ''Batman Returns'' an angry man, thinking, a bit irrationally, about what a jerk Dan Quayle is. Our boy vice president thinks the country is in trouble because of its dread ''cultural elite.''Wrong, Hoosier; we're in trouble because we don't have a cultural elite.If there were such an elite, it would be someplace around here. They're all on the beach or in the woods or pawing the kiwis and endive at ''The Barefoot Contessa.'' On the weekend, a lot of the men and women who write the songs and books and make the movies the whole world sings, reads and sees were at the six-screener on Main Street paying seven bucks a head to expose their children to what the nation's film critics assured us is high art.Art or not, ''Batman Returns'' is obscure, boring, violent -- and sick.

It was an irony almost too trivial to be noticed. But there's no such thing as an irony too trivial for a movie critic, so I couldn't help noticing that exactly as "Batman Returns" was opening and raking in over $47 million in three days, so too, at least in Baltimore, was another film that once boasted a frenzy of hype and high expectations. It may have made $47.This was "Brenda Starr," the Brooke Shields starring vehicle of five years ago, which, for obscure reasons, snuck on little cat's feet into a single venue in a suburban multiplex, unsupported by a single advertisement.

LOS ANGELES -- So who's left to see it next weekend?"Batman Returns," unsurprisingly, swooped into theaters and soared to a box-office record -- $47.7 million, including $2 million for Thursday night sneak previews, for a whopping $18,049 per-screen average. That was half of all the money spent by moviegoers over the weekend.The reception at Warner Bros., which distributed the film, was understandably jubilant. "I was basically one of the more optimistic people around here, and I was looking at $44 million," said Barry Reardon, president of domestic distribution for Warner Bros.

Always a godmother," laments Fran Liebowitz somewhere in her intermittent oeuvre, "and never a god."Gender adjusted appropriately, it's a cry that many of us have uttered in the secrecy of our minds. And the movies understand that with a commercial zeal.Godhood -- at least in the secular sense of the power of omnipotence and invulnerability, the sense of bringing terrible justice to the world, the sense of having a really great body without working out -- is at the very heart of popular culture, particularly in fantasies of omnipotent males -- "Batman Returns" is only the most recent example -- that the movies have made fortunes exploiting.