Banana

I enjoy telling my kids what a good boy I used to be.One my favorite tales is how on bitter mornings I would struggle through fierce Midwestern weather to get to the corner of 27th and Mitchell Avenue. That was where I was a patrol boy. It was my responsibility to make sure my fellow students made it safely across Mitchell Avenue as they walked to St. Francis Xavier grade school in St. Joseph, Mo.The snow would blow, the rain would fall, tornadoes would threaten, but duty kept me at my post.

In LeslieLand: Leslie's campaigning for sex education for seniors because of the rising STD rates in that age group. She and Ann, Donna, and Andy are role playing being old people, asking Ann their "grossest sex questions. " It's nice when they remember that Ann is actually a nurse.  When meeting with the seniors, we find Pawnee's seniors think the biggest danger of sex is your partner dying during it. When Leslie begins a demonstration with a condom and a banana, one gentleman in the audience inquires, "But what do you do when the banana is soft and mushy and doglegs sharply to the left?"

THE SOFTER THE BANANA, the stronger its appeal for me.This is not a shared view in my household. The minute the skin of the bananas on our kitchen counter starts to turn brown, our kids abandon the fruit. They prefer their bananas bright yellow, firm and boring.Youth rarely appreciates noble rot. But that is what is happening under the skin. As a banana gets softer, it gets sweeter. Its sugar content rises from about 2 percent in the green stage of its life to 20 percent when it gets old and mushy.

What does Baltimore have in common with Portland, Ore., Seattle and Charlotte, N.C.?  Each one has been named a 'Top Banana City.' These cities, apparently, have a disproportionately large percentage of banana-loving residents. That's according to the Dole Fresh Fruit, a subsidiary of the Dole Food Company, Inc., which has brought banana-focused activities to Baltimore for the month of July as part of its "2012 Go Bananas Every Day" campaign. The tour  is partnering with Baltimore bloggers and spotlighting local restaurants with a "particular passion for bananas," among them Miss Shirley's (Funky Monkey Bread)

When bananas look as if they've had it, they're at their sweetest and perfect for desserts. Overripe bananas may not be the best for eating out of hand, but when it comes to cooking, they couldn't be better: They're easier to mash, sweeter (as the fruit ripens, its starch turns to sugar), and more intense in flavor.Jamaican banana breadMakes 16 slicescooking spray2 tablespoons margarine, softened2 tablespoons tub light cream cheese, softened1 cup sugar1 large egg2 cups all-purpose flour2 teaspoons baking powder1/2 teaspoon baking soda1/8 teaspoon salt1 cup mashed ripe banana1/2 cup skim milk2 tablespoons dark rum or 1/4 teaspoon imitation rum extract1/2 teaspoon grated lime rind2 teaspoons lime juice1 teaspoon vanilla extract1/4 cup chopped pecans, toasted1/4 cup flaked sweetened coconut1/4 cup packed brown sugar2 teaspoons margarine2 teaspoons lime juice2 teaspoons dark rum or 1/8 teaspoon imitation rum extract2 tablespoons chopped pecans, toasted2 tablespoons flaked sweetened coconutHeat oven to 375 degrees.

Call it the great banana war of 1992. It broke out when the European market did not open as expected, saddling the big growers, newly expanded for the cause, with surpluses.Prices in Europe -- and to a lesser degree in the United States -- dropped along with the profits of the big brand companies like Del Monte, Dole and Chiquita. Investors have stampeded out of fruit stocks.As the world's biggest banana marketer and the only one of the Big Three that relies on bananas for its fortunes, Chiquita Brands International has been kicked hardest.

"Oh my, doesn't that look good." This refrain may not be th title of a song but your family or guest is bound to harmonize on those words when you bring out the banana muffins (with or without butterscotch chips) and the 7-Up Cake.Carol Stover of Millmont, Pa., requested the recipe for banana muffins and the choice of a response was from Melanie Murphy in Crystal Lake, Ill., who noted that her recipe had come from the Northwest Herald, a McHenry County, Ill., paper. "It is by far the best I have tried.

BRIDGETOWN, Barbados -- Hoping to safeguard Haitian democracy -- and one of his riskiest foreign policy gambits -- President Clinton will seek an extension of the United Nations peacekeeping mission in Haiti, White House officials said yesterday.Clinton, who discussed the matter here with President Rene Preval of Haiti, will press the issue before the U.N. Security Council in the coming weeks, just ahead of the July 31 expiration date for the U.N. mandate.No new U.S. soldiers would be sent to Haiti, where a 2,000-troop Canadian contingent now forms the core of a U.N. peacekeeping force.

HARARE, Zimbabwe -- Former Zimbabwean President Canaan Banana was convicted yesterday on 11 counts of sodomy, attempted sodomy and indecent assault by Zimbabwe's highest court, and prosecutors confirmed he has fled the country.In the most sensational trial involving homosexuality in modern African history, High Court Judge Godfrey Chidyausiku confiscated Banana's bail and issued an arrest warrant for the 63-year-old father of four and Methodist theologian.Banana went to neighboring Botswana on Nov. 17."

The United States agreed yesterday to call a truce in its bitter eight-year banana dispute with Europe, clearing the way for improved relations with a key ally in the battle to liberalize global trade. Under the deal announced in Brussels, Belgium, the European Union agreed to amend a controversial banana import system opposed by Chiquita Brands International and Dole Food Co. by July 1, and the United States said it would drop stiff sanctions it imposed two years ago on European goods.

In the latest Amazing Race, teams get the heck out of Taiwan so they can get down in Indonesia. With two eliminations coming up, who will survive? And who will think of the children? Since the Taiwan-to-Indonesia air route isn't too popular, all the teams bunch up on the same flight. Then they take the same overnight train, and finally splinter off during the Great Taxi Race to a remote cave. The spread during the taxi race seems to follow the teams throughout the episode, which is how Grandma and Grandpa pull themselves out of last place, even with a rope-untangling speed bump.

Puppy Cake $7 www.puppycake.com Don't miss: Puppy Cake mix lets you bake a safe and delicious treat for your furry friend's special occasion. Available in carob, peanut butter or banana flavors, and each includes a yogurt-based frosting mix. Polly Wanna Piñata $6.99-$9.99 www.fetchitpets.com Don't miss: This piñata is designed just for birds and provides fun exercise for your feathered friend. Buy one filled with dried fruits like banana chips, raisins, pineapple and papaya, or choose to fill it yourself with your bird's favorite treats.

The NFL owners and players have a few final hurdles to clear before labor peace is reached, but Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs thinks it is "ridiculous" that the two sides have yet to agree on a new collective bargaining agreement. He didn't point any fingers; he just expressed disappointment with the situation. “I think it's bananas. It's crazy that we're still here, that we ain't got nothing done. What's going on right now is just ridiculous,” Suggs said Friday afternoon.

James Bernard "Jimmy" Watkins Jr., a veteran Baltimore & Ohio Railroad dining car chef who during his 36-year career prepared thousands of meals for passengers, including Presidents Franklin D. Roosevelt and Harry S. Truman, died March 30 of prostate cancer at his Pikesville home. He was 89. Mr. Watkins was born in Baltimore and raised in Glen Burnie, and was a 1939 graduate of Glen Burnie High School. He began his cooking career in the late 1930s, working as a lunch counter cook at Read's drugstore at Howard and Lexington streets, and soon began looking for a better job because "they didn't pay no money," he said in a 34-page typed transcript of a taped interview made for the Hays T. Watkins Research Library at the B&O Railroad Museum in Baltimore in 2002.

Like a lot of taverns in the Baltimore area, the Yellow Dog Tavern in Canton has a lively first floor dominated by the bar and a quieter second floor filled with tables and chairs. When my wife and I showed up there for dinner on a recent weeknight, we picked the upstairs dining area. It is a lovely space, with windows looking out on neighborhood rowhouses. Framed photos of dogs owned by staff members serve as decoration, along with paintings hanging on the brick walls. While almost every seat was taken downstairs, we had plenty of privacy upstairs.

Gaila Droegemeier from Centerton, Ark., was hoping someone would have the recipe for a Weight Watchers oatmeal cookie. She had a recipe some years ago but misplaced it and she has not been able to reproduce the wholesome-tasting cookie to her satisfaction. A quick search on the Internet turned up several promising recipes. I tested one by Michelle Marshal that she posted on a site called Suite101.com. I decided not to tell my testers that it was a Weight Watchers cookie. Based upon how fast the batch was gobbled at my house, I doubt anyone was aware that the chewy and delicious cookies were also low fat and relatively low calorie.

THE BUSH administration notched its first foreign policy success this week, which had nothing to do with China. It was the European Union's agreement to phase out quota preferences on banana imports. President Bush's trade representative, Robert Zoellick, reached the deal that had eluded the Clinton administration. It ended a nine-year struggle that included U.S. retaliatory trade sanctions on European luxury imports, authorized by the World Trade Organization. The European Union in 1993 slapped on quotas largely kicking South and Central American product out of that vast market in favor of bananas from former European colonies in the Caribbean, Africa and the South Pacific.

My husband and I are enthusiastic movie fans and see almost every first-run film that comes to town. We get to a fair number of the foreign ones as well. Many of our friends are also cinema buffs, so a group of us always organizes an Academy Awards party on Oscar night.Each year we enjoy a potluck dinner before the ceremony, and during the awards we pass bowls of popcorn and nibble on Junior Mints and M&Ms. Because we all fill out ballots before the program, there are shouts of victory from those who selected the winners as the Oscars are handed out. Sometimes, there are even decorations to set the mood for this fete.

"500 Things to Eat Before It's Too Late" Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, $19.95: From New England to the West Coast, authors Jane and Michael Stern have assembled a truly mouthwatering guide to 500 dishes and the best cheap places to eat them in the United States. Where to begin? In New England alone they recommend such regional specialties as clam chowder, lobster rolls, Indian pudding, johnnycakes (in Rhode Island the law dictates that these pancakes must be made with white cap flint corn, not sugar or flour)